Is 6 months to early to propose? Need an opinion

FBaby

Blueman14 wrote: »

FBaby, when did you meet?

3 years and 8 months we likes into moving together after 6 months but circumstances was that it was another 18 months until we did. We were totally committed then but moving together did take quite some adjusting to. I've now reached the point where the love I feel for him is taking the form of familiarity and comfort over passion so I know I'm ready for marriage

Blueman14

I want to, I really do and yes I am ok with it all happening. I am just worried about the views of her family, as although I really want to, I can see their views if they think it is too. All the other brothers and sisters older weren't engaged for at least 2 years.

Mrs_Imp

When you know, then you know. I knew after about 4 weeks that I wanted to be Mrs Imp, but I had to wait a bit longer for him to ask!

If it's what you both want, then I'd say go for it. You'll know if the time is right and the place is right when you're in NY. Make it a proposal she'll remember and appreciate.

There is an advantage to getting married/engaged before moving in together. It's all new and exciting, rather than going home to just the same. You get to learn all about your OH and their habits while you're still feeling the glow of the marriage/engagement. From my experience that makes bad habits much easier to learn to live with ('awwww look, he's left his towel in a heap on the floor' I thought, staring gooey eyed at my wedding ring. And I'm sure he did likewise when he discovered my pile of snotty tissues :eek:).

Yargo1

My parents met n married in six weeks .. And are still together n happy after 39 years!

Me and my hubbie knew straight away but moved in together after 5 months and married after 2.5 years

angelil

Why are you so worried about the reactions of her family, OP? Do you get on with them?

FWIW, I "knew" my husband was the one within 6 months of us being together. I remember saying to a friend at a party that if he asked me to marry him the next day I would say yes. So the feeling that it's right can certainly be very strong, very early on in a relationship, and even when you are relatively young (I was 19 at this time).

However, my view is that if you love each other that much then there shouldn't be any rush, especially if either of your situations is not ideal. When my husband and I got together, we were both still studying, and thanks to these studies we had to get through a 3.5-year international long-distance relationship.

At the end of those 3.5 years we moved in together. We were engaged 9 months later and married 18 months after that. We've now been married nearly 18 months and still all seems well...we'll have been together for 8 years this Christmas. So - don't feel the need to rush.

I'd also advocate living together before you get married.

Jennie_2

I met my husband on a Monday. By the Friday he had moved in with me. Six months later we were married. That was 20 years ago. When we met we had both not long split up with long term partners. People thought we were a re-bound romance. We obviously weren’t.



Neither of us regret for one moment marrying so quickly. We are both only sorry we hadn’t met years before. My husband went on a two day business trip today and before the train had even pulled out of the station I missed him.


This summer our teenage daughter was diagnosed as chronically ill and it makes you realise how precious life is and how you must take opportunities while you can.


Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

thehappybutterfly

milliemonster wrote: »

Well, before I met my husband I was adamant that you needed time to get to know someone and how could you possibly know and get married after only a few months together, I had even split up with previous boyfriends over their 'need' to get more serious far too soon for me as I just didn't want a serious relationship.

Then I met my hubby, within 4 weeks we were discussing marriage, we became engaged after 5 months of being together, bought our first house after 10 months and married after 2 years, it felt right from day one and as you say, I just knew, and so did he that we were soulmates I guess.

We are still together after almost 18 years now, have 2 kids and I have no regrets on that score.

I think the only regret I do have is that I wish we had spent more time having fun, going places, seeing the world together etc instead of buying our house and planning and paying for the wedding when we did as that sort of tied us up financially, then the kids came along etc etc. I know he feels the same about this but then we do wonder if we had done things differently we probably would never have had our fab kids.

VERY similar to me and my hubby. Our kids are now up a bit and more independent and we're only now getting "our" life back. My son and I came as a package and he was only 2 so we've had kids right from the beginning. We never really had an average relationship to begin with - no dates at the cinema, nights out at pubs and clubs etc. as I was a single parent.

We got married one day, picked up the keys to our first home 2 days later and hosted my new in-laws at Xmas 2 weeks after that!

We decided to go straight to marriage without bothering with an engagement. We'd both been engaged to other people before and it never worked out so we took the plunge and booked the registers at Gretna Green. Like a couple of love-sick teenagers :rotfl:We never told anyone we were getting married as neither of us wanted any kind of fuss. No big do when we got back either (no wedding gifts either, sadly!)

I kind of agree with the pointlessness of engagements - in both mine and my hubby's mind, we felt that it just wasn't enough of a commitment. Like someone else said, rather controversially perhaps but oh well, it's like you're keeping your options open. I couldn't wait to call him my husband and change my name to Mrs Happybutterfly!

RubyRue

My dad asked my mam to marry him on their first date, around about a month later they were married and are still going strong almost 40 years later.

I wasn't that quick, moved in with my OH after a year and married a year and a half later.

thehappybutterfly

Jennie wrote: »

I met my husband on a Monday. By the Friday he had moved in with me. Six months later we were married. That was 20 years ago. When we met we had both not long split up with long term partners. People thought we were a re-bound romance. We obviously weren’t.



Neither of us regret for one moment marrying so quickly. We are both only sorry we hadn’t met years before. My husband went on a two day business trip today and before the train had even pulled out of the station I missed him.


This summer our teenage daughter was diagnosed as chronically ill and it makes you realise how precious life is and how you must take opportunities while you can.


Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Aww, what a lovely story!

Wilma33

To be honest it sounds like this is all your girlfriends idea and you are not that keen (else you wouldn't have posted). Just wait and don't let your girlfriend push you into it. Why have you got an April deadline to ask? Has she said (either directly or indirectly) that if you don't propose within a year then she will leave you?