Is 6 months to early to propose? Need an opinion

cottonhead

I got engaged after just 3 months but didnt actually make it public until much later as I knew everyone would say its too soon and it would spoil our happiness. Althoguh we were engaged and had every intention of marrying we actually didnt until a good few years later ( mailny out of laziness !) We have been together 9 years now.
My advice would be to live together first. Wait for the honeymoon period to fade. See how you both deal with stressful situations and the hard things that life throws at you. Once you share the houshold chores, having no money, loosing a job, illness etc etc you will have a better picture of how good a partnership you really are. Dating and being all loved up is very different to normal every day life.

suki1001

Idiophreak wrote: »

What does it mean? It means you're going to get married. That's it.

You see, I don't understand wanting to "enjoy being engaged" and I certainly don't view it as a "stage of your life"...We did enjoy telling everyone about the engagement, drinking some bubbly and saying "hiya finacee!" to each other quite a few times, but that was about the limit of our "enjoyment"...We got engaged to be married and were keen to be...married...so we got on with it.

So then it meant nothing to you and you didn't need to do it. You weren't that keen to get married you waited 10 years. You limited your enjoyment we didn't and I wouldn't have done it any other way. My grandmother was engaged for 5 years when my grandfather went off to war, do you think their engagement meant nothing to her, do you think they should have just waited? I should imagine the fact they were engaged when he went away meant an awful lot to her.

Stephb1986_2

I met my OH in May 2007 we got engaged december 25th 2009 we are getting married April 2014, We are not going into debt for the wedding and it's been great looking at ideas together.

There's been no rush about it and we're now really looking forward to it

Steph xx

zoesmummy_2006

I got engaged after 3 months and we moved in together shortly after that, he'd asked my dads permission and everything!!

We got married after 4 years, it would have been 3 but we had a blip and split briefly just after we'd started planning the wedding because he was going out all the time with his mates, was never there for me and I ended up getting close to a guy I worked with though nothing ever happened.

We worked all that out and got back together after a week and everything was great, we got married in 2005 and he left in 2009 just after our 4th wedding anniversary and a month after our son turned 1.

It wasnt that we rushed things cos in total we were together almost 10 years in total, he just decided after marriage and kids that they werent actually what he wanted!!!

Idiophreak

suki1001 wrote: »

So then it meant nothing to you and you didn't need to do it. You weren't that keen to get married you waited 10 years. You limited your enjoyment we didn't and I wouldn't have done it any other way. My grandmother was engaged for 5 years when my grandfather went off to war, do you think their engagement meant nothing to her, do you think they should have just waited? I should imagine the fact they were engaged when he went away meant an awful lot to her.

Sorry, you're coming across quite aggressively here. I don't believe there's any right or wrong with this, so I don't really get why you're trying to argue the point. My first comment on the subject was "I think it depends on how you view these things" and I was simply trying to explain my point of view.

My girlfriend didn't need a ring on her finger to know I loved her and was committed to her. We both wanted to get married as soon as practically possible and that's what we did. I find your assertion that I wasn't "keen to get married" extremely offensive given that I've already stated my reasons for waiting on this thread.

In short, you're a horrible person. Let's just leave it at that.

lostinrates

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I met my OH in May 2007 we got engaged december 25th 2009 we are getting married April 2014, We are not going into debt for the wedding and it's been great looking at ideas together.

There's been no rush about it and we're now really looking forward to it

Steph xx

We got married without debt too. For about £100 quid, just a bit over that. We just did not have a wedding.

Thinking about this more, the reasons i wanted to wait included that dh had never lived with any of his gf before, nor had a long term relationship. I was wary of that. Where as i had, and that made me more concerned.

We were ...I think, 23 when we met. I did not expect to meet the person i would live with for ever after in my early twenties.

Dh approached it differently. He felt it was not worth 'squandering' or investing too much time and emotion on relationships once it was clear to him he did not want them to be long term. He did want a ltr but with the person he would always be with. He was not worried about the age, mopre time to build memories in.

As it turns out i am glad we met and lived together from early on. We have geown set in our ways together, i see now its often harder for friends as they go on, doing things that suit them al
One or with a previous partner, to adjust to a new equally set in their ways partner. Just little things, but the things that make people irrationally annoyed!

big5

6 months would have been too soon for me, but I got together with my OH when I was 20 and wasn't ready to think about marriage (except in a 'one day in the future' type way). He proposed when I was 24 and we'd been living together for over a year - I think if we'd met at that age, I'd have been happy with a proposal after a shorter time. Once you're at the stage in life where you're ready for a real commitment, I don't think you'd spend 6 months in a relationship you didn't feel was going anywhere.

suki1001

Idiophreak wrote: »

Sorry, you're coming across quite aggressively here. I don't believe there's any right or wrong with this, so I don't really get why you're trying to argue the point. My first comment on the subject was "I think it depends on how you view these things" and I was simply trying to explain my point of view.

My girlfriend didn't need a ring on her finger to know I loved her and was committed to her. We both wanted to get married as soon as practically possible and that's what we did. I find your assertion that I wasn't "keen to get married" extremely offensive given that I've already stated my reasons for waiting on this thread.

In short, you're a horrible person. Let's just leave it at that.

You were pretty aggressive in belittling the fact I'd got engaged a long time before I got married and said it meant nothing. I wasn't being aggressive, just merely pointing out that it meant a lot to me. I found your point of view offensive.


In short, you're a horrible person.

What an incredibly nasty thing to say.

milliemonster

Well, before I met my husband I was adamant that you needed time to get to know someone and how could you possibly know and get married after only a few months together, I had even split up with previous boyfriends over their 'need' to get more serious far too soon for me as I just didn't want a serious relationship.

Then I met my hubby, within 4 weeks we were discussing marriage, we became engaged after 5 months of being together, bought our first house after 10 months and married after 2 years, it felt right from day one and as you say, I just knew, and so did he that we were soulmates I guess.

We are still together after almost 18 years now, have 2 kids and I have no regrets on that score.

I think the only regret I do have is that I wish we had spent more time having fun, going places, seeing the world together etc instead of buying our house and planning and paying for the wedding when we did as that sort of tied us up financially, then the kids came along etc etc. I know he feels the same about this but then we do wonder if we had done things differently we probably would never have had our fab kids.

Idiophreak

suki1001 wrote: »

You were pretty aggressive in belittling the fact I'd got engaged a long time before I got married and said it meant nothing. I wasn't being aggressive, just merely pointing out that it meant a lot to me. I found your point of view offensive.

Let's see then, I said:

"I think it depends on how you view these things. Personally...."

"You see, I don't understand wanting to "enjoy being engaged" and I certainly don't view it as a "stage of your life"...We did enjoy telling everyone about the engagement, drinking some bubbly and saying "hiya finacee!" to each other quite a few times, but that was about the limit of our "enjoyment"...We got engaged to be married and were keen to be...married...so we got on with it."

I talked about my opinion, what I thought and what we did. Please show me where I belittled your point of view?

Conversely, you said:

"So then it meant nothing to you and you didn't need to do it. You weren't that keen to get married you waited 10 years. You limited your enjoyment"

You talked about my life and what we'd done.

Then I said "In short, you're a horrible person.", which I think was pretty fair, the above considered.