Is 6 months to early to propose? Need an opinion

19lottie82

onlyroz wrote: »

I really don't get this - if you've made the decision to marry then why wait 5 years? It's like you're saying that "engagement" is some intermediate level of commitment that can be backed out of. In my view once you're engaged that means you're fully committed, and so you get married as soon as is practical.

I really agree with this, I don't have anything against anyone who gets engaged and doesn't have any plans to set a date. But to me it seems kind of pointless, and not really any extra "commitment" unless you're putting the wheels in motion to actually get hitched!

suki1001

daska wrote: »

My parents were married 5 months to the day after meeting, it worked for them for nearly 50 years (mum died last year). Do what feels right for you not other people.

But unlike suki1001 I don't get 'long' engagements or planning to get engaged - you're either engaged to be married or you're not. If you've decided to make that commitment then get on with it otherwise it makes it look as if you're keeping your options open in case a better offer comes along.

We were engaged to be married!

I can assure you neither of us were keeping our options open. I was happy to show my commitment through being engaged and when the moment was right we'd get married (financial security). I don't get why people have to rush to get married once they're engaged. i think that definitely puts the stress into a relationship. Some people get engaged and they've barely sat down and that's it boom, time to plan the wedding - i don't like that. I'd had a few relationships and he was the first person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, so I wanted to make that relationship different to all the others and getting engaged was perfect - it didn't mean we had to rush into marriage. It also meant when we did get married we had no debt apart from a mortgage.

turn3r

I would say No its not too early! I met my husband on December 22nd 2007, we got engaged 21 Feb 2008 and married 23rd of December 2008! its our 5th wedding anniversary in December.

If it feels right go for it!

Blueman14

Person_one wrote: »

Could you expand on that a bit please?

Changing car sizes etc to save money and quitting smoking.

SmallL

I dont think today, in this modern society there is a 'right' time.
Iv been with my partner for over 5 years, we still aren't engaged nor have plans to be until we are financially stable (we are both 20).
Communication is key, if you both are able and want to be engaged then why not!
But for me i would like a wedding within two years of the proposal, thats why we are waiting till we are financially stable.

onlyroz

suki1001 wrote: »

). I don't get why people have to rush to get married once they're engaged. i think that definitely puts the stress into a relationship. Some people get engaged and they've barely sat down and that's it boom, time to plan the wedding - i don't like that.

I didn't say anything about rushing - just that why not gradually put the wheels into motion? I got married a year after getting engaged, and the plans were slowly put into effect shortly after the engagement started.

My ex tells me that he's currently engaged, but that he has no intention of getting married again (and I think he's still married to wife number 2). To me that's just cruel - because presumably the poor girl thinks she's actually going to get married one day. The ex says that she seems content with just the engagement and thinks that's all the level of committment that she'll ever want from him. Makes me :mad:

suki1001

onlyroz wrote: »

I really don't get this - if you've made the decision to marry then why wait 5 years? It's like you're saying that "engagement" is some intermediate level of commitment that can be backed out of. In my view once you're engaged that means you're fully committed, and so you get married as soon as is practical.

People used to do this when it wasn't acceptable to live together, that's when they got married as soon as, so they could live together. It was the same with getting christened - people did it a very short time after the baby was born, presumably because infant mortality rates were so high.

I was fully commited. I'd rather show I was fully commited and be ready for the wedding than wait four years to get engaged just before I got married. Why not show my full commitment sooner? I find your opinion quite offensive. You remind me of someone who told me i hadn't had a proper wedding or a real marriage because I got married in a registry office. We now live in a society where it is acceptable to do things in your own time.

suki1001

onlyroz wrote: »

I didn't say anything about rushing - just that why not gradually put the wheels into motion? I got married a year after getting engaged, and the plans were slowly put into effect shortly after the engagement started.

My ex tells me that he's currently engaged, but that he has no intention of getting married again (and I think he's still married to wife number 2). To me that's just cruel - because presumably the poor girl thinks she's actually going to get married one day. The ex says that she seems content with just the engagement and thinks that's all the level of committment that she'll ever want from him. Makes me :mad:

But we both had every intention of getting married, hence why we have been for 10 years.

MrsE_2

I think New Youk is a great place to propose - possibly the ultimate place.
Engadgement isn't legal, you can "get out", so go for it :-)

onlyroz

suki1001 wrote: »

We now live in a society where it is
acceptable to do things in your own time.

Do things however you want. I still don't get it though.