Is 6 months to early to propose? Need an opinion

podperson

My OH proposed to me after about 3 months, but we waited another 3 months or so to tell my parents as I was convinced they would think it was much too early By then we were already living together so they had come round more to the idea that we were serious. Before that I would have said that it was too soon, but as others have said, when you know then you know.
Good luck with it, I'm sure her parents will be fine.

PasturesNew

My friend has a rule "2 Xmasses". On the first Xmas, things can be a little annoying but you go for a quiet life..... on the second Xmas if things aren't going your way you can go ballistic.

Xmas sorts out the differences between people as there are so many issues squeezed into a culturally important period of time, when friends/family are pulling this way and that and there's a huge focus on spending lots of money and doing 'traditions'..... and the differences come to the fore.

Blueman14

Thanks for all your posts.

You have all said some good things. I wouldn't be in a rush to marry for sure and would want to save to have best day possible, especially as I am currently looking into buying a property.

Baring in mind her mum is closest to her, perhaps I will sound her out in a couple of weeks, after her daughters party this weekend, where I will see all the family and so perhaps me getting more of a bond with them all will help as well.

krlyr

If it's any help, OH and I moved in together after 4 months and it was partly my mum's idea! He was looking to move in with friends but after lots of discussing it, it seemed a bit pointless as the situation wouldn't have been too practical with my dogs if I was to later move in (too many people coming and going, likely to be stumbling home drunk at weekends etc. and maybe leaving doors open, not enough communal areas to squeeze two large dogs into the mix too etc.), and it seemed a bit pointless him paying all this extra rent for a room in a house he'd hardly stay in if he visited me all the time, so my mum suggested he move in with me instead - I (nervously!) suggested the idea and the rest is history! My mum had no issues with us moving in together so soon (and she has been quite protective over me with some of my exes!), she could see how happy we were and how well we suited each other - realistically, we had practically been living together for at least a couple of months because one of us would go to the other's straight from work and stay overnight anyway, we just saved a lot of petrol money by making it official :rotfl:

If her parents can see how happy you make her (and she's not constantly worrying about how they'd feel about you guys moving in together/getting married, if she lives with them then she should be aware of any objections they may have - I certainly knew from my mum and stepdad's behaviour/comments that certain other exes would not have been so welcome!) then I'm sure you'll get their blessing

System

Seems to me you are focussing on proposing because the place is right rather than the time is right.

Can you honestly say you would propose to her if you werent going to New York? Chances are you would be happy to wait a little.

Good luck whatever you choose to do.

Blueman14

I can also see why a longer time can be right as well. Thing is life can be too short and I do kind of agree that when you know you know. It is just the opinions of others around you, which can make it worse.

I had a friend who died at 24 this year and I am sure many other people have had cases, which proves life can be too short. This is what kind of makes me think as long as I am sure, I should go for it.

Blueman14

Fair point Judi, that has come into play. I just wanted it to be special, rather than somewhere less of an effort because the time was right. She is the sort of girl who would want to see effort.

PasturesNew

Blueman14 wrote: »

She is the sort of girl who would want to see effort.

The 2 Xmas rule might be an eye-opener then.....

Blueman14

lol possibly, but she would expect it by April.

I know from talking with her in general about it.

FBaby

As a woman I would prefer to be proposed to once it it's right to start planning the wedding right afterwards then having to wait years to get married because money had to be raised etc...

Also nowadays I think it is much better to wait until you've lived together for some time. No matter how much you love eachother you don't really know how much you will love living together forever until you try it.