Is 6 months to early to propose? Need an opinion

suki1001

Hi,

My oh proposed to me within the week of us going out. Not officially, an engagement ring came a bit later on, but we have now been together for 15 years and celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this year. We had known each other for a year before we got together, so I knew him pretty well.

We both knew that it was right and that we wanted to be a permanent item. I felt it just added a sort of confirmation that we wanted to spend our lives together and we didn't rush into marriage.

He was the first bloke I knew I wanted to marry, even though I'd lived with someone beforehand. If you absolutely know and you're both happy then I say why wait.

I don't know if you've met her family before, but if you get on, they should be okay.

Ivrytwr3

Do it, just because you propose doesn't meant you have to get married the second you land back in the UK.

You will have a nice story there to tell the kids!

madison-nyc

Blueman14 wrote: »

I would like an opinion on this. I am 25 years old.

I feel both my girlfriend (25) and I want to be together forever, but we have only been together since beginning of April 12, with some dates before.

I hear everyone saying "when you know you know" and I really do know. I didn't plan on proposing until next year as this is when we were talking about getting a place together, but suddenly things have changed and we are talking about getting a place sooner, maybe even this year if the right place becomes available. She always said she would like a ring on her finger before moving out from home. This doesn't seem to necessarily be the case now, but obviously it would make her happy.

The thing is, we are going to New York in October and we would have been together 6 months, and really there aren't many better places to propose.

What are your views? Is it too soon?

I am also worried about the opinions from her parents, (as she told me she would always like me to first). Maybe it isn't a problem if they see how much she means to me and I am serious. I think her Dad would be fine, but her Mum might think it is too soon, but then shouldn't it be our opinions that count the most?

Just to add, I am financially pretty stable.

If it feels right , do it. you only live once! I got engaged 6 weeks after being with my boyfriend , we got married the year after and have just this week celebrated our 6th year anniversary and have two kids too.

Go for it and good luck!!

Person_one

Blueman14 wrote: »

I can also see why a longer time can be right as well. Thing is life can be too short and I do kind of agree that when you know you know. It is just the opinions of others around you, which can make it worse.

I had a friend who died at 24 this year and I am sure many other people have had cases, which proves life can be too short. This is what kind of makes me think as long as I am sure, I should go for it.

I've lost people young, so I do understand where you're coming from on that. However, if this actually is your forever relationship then you'll still be together if you wait 18 months and you'll still be happy together, you won't be wasting any time.

It can seem completely clear and obvious that someone is 'the one' and 'this is it' and so on when all you're doing is spending quality time together, you haven't had any tough times to get through and you haven't had to deal with the daily grind yet. I was absolutely 100% sure my last ex was the forever one, then I moved out a few months after we bought a place together and he suddenly became a *£!* !

Live together first, you don't lose anything by waiting but getting engaged, making a big announcement and planning a wedding puts a lot of pressure on you both and makes it harder to break it off if it turns out that's the right thing to do down the line when you know each other better.

You're only 25, just enjoy being together for now!

thehappybutterfly

I proposed to my now hubby after 6 months and were married within a year of getting together and we'll be celebrating our 17th anniversary at the end of the year! Like others have said it's not been plain sailing and we've had some battles and strong words over the years (mostly on my part!) but we live our lives together and spend as much time as possible in each other's company. I'm glad we didn't hang around. My only regret? That I didn't wait for him to propose but that's me - Mrs No-Patience!

ETA: How confident are you that she'll say yes?

suki1001

Person_one wrote: »

Live together first, you don't lose anything by waiting but getting engaged, making a big announcement and planning a wedding puts a lot of pressure on you both and makes it harder to break it off if it turns out that's the right thing to do down the line when you know each other better.

You're only 25, just enjoy being together for now!

But you don't have to plan a wedding just because you're engaged. I didn't get married for 5 years after we got engaged, not because we were saving up, but just because it felt the right time to do it. Surely living together makes the relationship more difficult if you break up anyway, I mean he's looking at buying a house.

Op, I do think you should go with your heart. things could go wrong, they might not work out, but you are entering this relationship with a different mindset than the others, I think it's fine to enter into that "extra commitment", but then I never understood the need to wait if it felt right.
I think if they really want to be engaged, then they should go for it

Blueman14

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

I proposed to my now hubby after 6 months and were married within a year of getting together and we'll be celebrating our 17th anniversary at the end of the year! Like others have said it's not been plain sailing and we've had some battles and strong words over the years (mostly on my part!) but we live our lives together and spend as much time as possible in each other's company. I'm glad we didn't hang around. My only regret? That I didn't wait for him to propose but that's me - Mrs No-Patience!

ETA: How confident are you that she'll say yes?

I do think she will say Yes. She said to me why should you worry about what my family think. She said if you want to do it and they see that, then can't see why it would be a problem. She also text me last night saying she would never say no, which seemed strange and almost a hint.

tea_lover

Blueman14 wrote: »

which seemed strange and almost a hint.

ALMOST a hint!

Blueman14

tea_lover wrote: »

ALMOST a hint!

Lol, so you think big hint?

tea_lover

I think very big hint!