Is 6 months to early to propose? Need an opinion

jackieb

I started seeing my OH in the February. By April we were talking about getting married and having children and we moved in together in May. We got engaged in the October and married the following February. I was 18 when we got married, he was 21. We were 25 years married this year.

My son, however, was going steady for 5 years before getting engaged. They live together and they're in no great rush to get married.

You just do what's right for you. I don't think there's a right and wrong. Good luck to you.

Person_one

MrsE wrote: »

I think New Youk is a great place to propose - possibly the ultimate place.
Engadgement isn't legal, you can "get out", so go for it :-)

I think it can be a lot harder for people to end an engagement though, they've made a big public statement, they've declared they're in it forever, its a bigger decision to make.

A friend of mine stayed with her ex fiance for years longer than she really wanted to because she didn't feel able to break that commitment and admit to everybody she'd got it wrong.

What's wrong with just being happy together? Why the need for the big statement and the change of status? If its going to last, it will last without a ring and a cheesy proposal.

downsizer3

I've never been married - not on my agenda - but I knew lots of friends (femail) to whom it was important before living with someone. I don't think your girlfriend is being particularly pushy - you're just discussing ideal scenarios.
I love the romanticism of it - go for it - even better if you can tick the boxes and ask her parents first - but only if they promise not to spill the beans!!
My brother got engaged after 6 weeks - married for 12 years - just because you 'know' quickly doesn't mean there's anything wrong with getting engaged relatively soon.
Good luck! :j

kjmtidea

To be fair, the fact that you have been having conversations about getting married and you are going to new york next month, she is probably assuming that you are going to propose anyway?

She will be disappointed if you don't now .

Idiophreak

suki1001 wrote: »

I was fully commited. I'd rather show I was fully commited and be ready for the wedding than wait four years to get engaged just before I got married. Why not show my full commitment sooner?

I think it depends on how you view these things. Personally, I think if you want to show you're "fully committed", you get married...I don't really view "being engaged" as showing you as being fully committed, because you're not. I don't really see it as an interim state, with "more commitment"....

I was fully committed to my wife for *years* before I proposed to her, but didn't feel the need to "show" this by proposing. I wanted to wait until I could afford the ring, and wedding, she deserved before I proposed...so she had to wait ten years for the proposal, but got the wedding eight months later. She was never in any doubt about my commitment to her, so wasn't a big deal...

OP, if you want to do it, and you can afford to do it, I say just do it. Best of luck to you!

Idiophreak

downsizer3 wrote: »

I love the romanticism of it - go for it - even better if you can tick the boxes and ask her parents first - but only if they promise not to spill the beans!!

Yes, it's worth being VERY SPECIFIC about this. I asked my wife's dad's permission and as soon as I left he texted to congratulate her. :wall::wall::wall:

suki1001

Idiophreak wrote: »

I think it depends on how you view these things. Personally, I think if you want to show you're "fully committed", you get married...I don't really view "being engaged" as showing you as being fully committed, because you're not. I don't really see it as an interim state, with "more commitment"....

Then why bother getting engaged if it means nothing? What on earth does it symbolize? Nothing? Why not just hang a reserved sign - wedding plans in preparation around your neck? Why not just get married? You might not see it as being fully committed, but to me that stage was immensely important, because we weren't just going out or living together. Being engaged to me meant I was chosing to prepare to spend the rest of my life with this person together, we will get married when everything is right. I would have hated to get engaged, then flash, bang wallop eight months later married. It goes so fast and you don't have time to blink - when do you have time to enjoy being engaged or that stage of your life because it gets taken over by dresses and colour schemes.

minimoneysaver

Why not go for it and propose in New York? There's no rush to plan the wedding. Makes the proposal very special. x

whitewing

turn3r wrote: »

I would say No its not too early! I met my husband on December 22nd 2007, we got engaged 21 Feb 2008 and married 23rd of December 2008! its our 5th wedding anniversary in December.

No it isn't.

Idiophreak

suki1001 wrote: »

Then why bother getting engaged if it means nothing? What on earth does it symbolize? Nothing? ... when do you have time to enjoy being engaged or that stage of your life because it gets taken over by dresses and colour schemes.

What does it mean? It means you're going to get married. That's it.

You see, I don't understand wanting to "enjoy being engaged" and I certainly don't view it as a "stage of your life"...We did enjoy telling everyone about the engagement, drinking some bubbly and saying "hiya finacee!" to each other quite a few times, but that was about the limit of our "enjoyment"...We got engaged to be married and were keen to be...married...so we got on with it.