Single mum bein hounded

Shak1rak

Wow... I understand that people don't want to be stuck in a dead end job etc but to choose to live on the dole rather than actually earning everything you have in life is really confusing to me. I have twin 9 year olds (I went back to work when they turned 18months). I also have a 16month old(I went back part time 7 weeks after giving birth).
I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY TO MY CHILDREN THAT EVERYTHING THEY HAVE IS BECAUSE I WORKED ESPECIALLY HARD FOR THEM TO HAVE IT

The dole is a stop gap for people who NEED it... Not for people to take advantage of!!!!!!!

Ellejmorgan

Face1992 wrote: »

It must be hard work carrying a baby around when you've said an employer would deem you as a health and safety risk. Would it only be kettles and stuff you would drop?

Yes it is, baby is getting heavy now and can't carry her with my bad arm, we are currently being supported by various orgs to try to obtain further support for my family..
I drop everything in right hand as thumb/forefinger have been numb for 2 years..

[Deleted User]

I'm another parent on benefits.., I'm a carer too as my older son has ASD and has at times needed a lot of support. He wouldn't be going to sixth form with 8 GCSE's if I hadn't been there every day to tutor him through a schooling system that did little to help him.

BUT having said that.., I am now looking to the future. I have no support, no parents to help with child care and few friends.., and diabetes that can be unstable, angina (had a heart attack) arthritis, back problems but I am in a normal back to work course and loving it.

I have not worked for many years, at first I did apply for jobs but a serious lack of childcare meant I couldn't however much I wanted to. Then my son's challenges (including school refusal) was another hurdle. But in the past (even when my son was under two, before the challenges became apparent) I used to work 12 hour days, and brought work home. I have done office management, but also cleaning jobs, waitressing, packed dressings in bags, whatever I could find when things were tough

I don't HAVE to go on this course, I don't HAVE to work (although I am sure that will change in the next 18 months) but I want to. And I will.

Yes it really is tough being a single mum, its scary contemplating work (I'm the what if expert) but its something that has to be done, not only because of finances but also for your benefit. Sure the job may bore u to tears, find ways of livening it up. I was the fastest dressing packer they'd ever had because I was so bored I'd set myself speed challenges lol.

Attitude is all. If u go to a job expecting it to be truly awful, it will be. If u try to make something of it, it'll be a lot better. And u might make a few friends. We have already had two people leave our course. Both extremely negative.., both closed minded. And they've got no hope. I have and so have the others on the course. Hope is essential.

You may need to find a better sort of job. If u don't like the options the jobcentre is giving u.., find some u prefer yourself. Drop your CV off everywhere. Do voluntary work. Whatever it takes.

CKhalvashi

LittleMissGiggles123 wrote: »

If your daughter is in school you wont see her all day anyway. Working 8 hours a day is the norm & something that plenty of mothers have to do these days.

This parent saw their children for 2 weeks one year, as I was working away from OH and kids. It's life. It happens!

taxi36

skibadee wrote: »

Well Done to you!!!....lets hope the OP reads and learns from your post.
Not only can you feel proud of yourself for finding a job and working you should also be proud of doing this whilst having a young child/baby and being able to find the work/child compromise ( not sure thats the right word!! ) and at such a young age.
You should be very proud of yourself and the impression your showing your son.......:)

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I was brought up with two working parents + it didnt do me any harm so I have always wanted to work to support my own Son.

It isnt always easy but if you want something badly enough you can always find a way to make it happen.

likelyfran

Face1992 wrote: »

I don't think it is.

I think people have grown tired of the layabouts always getting more than them and talking about using their taxes to pay for them is their way to articulate how peeved they are.

I think most sensible people realise that the money they pay in tax every month isn't going direct to the layabout at number 4 with 4 kids and another on the way who is claiming everything going.

You've basically just agreed with me whilst saying you disagree with me! :think:

likelyfran

thorsoak wrote: »

I firmly believe in the ethic "from each according to his means, to each according to his needs" - but that does not mean "according to his wants".

Anyone these days can find themselves in the predicament of needing help - and that help should be given generously. But those like the OP who have never ever even attempted to help themselves do need the metaphorical kick up the backside to get themselves out of the slough that they have ended up in (ouch ...what bad grammar - but too late at night to rephrase it!) .

It is quite understandable that those who work for a small wage, who pay taxes as well as receiving tax credits, should feel resentful when they get their children up a silly o'clock in order to get them into breakfast club/childminder whilst those on benefits can sleep in and slum it all day without even attempting to help themselves.

Their choice entirely.

likelyfran

Dunroamin wrote: »

Not me, sunshine - I frequently post that we should pay more tax to finance better education and healthcare for all.

The best gift any parent can give their child is the knowledge that they care enough about them to go out and work to support them.

Really?????

Not: love, compassion, affection, reassurance, communication, time, fun or anything like that???

(Is is just because you is a man? )

likelyfran

skibadee wrote: »

Well Done to you!!!....lets hope the OP reads and learns from your post.
Not only can you feel proud of yourself for finding a job and working you should also be proud of doing this whilst having a young child/baby and being able to find the work/child compromise ( not sure thats the right word!! ) and at such a young age.
You should be very proud of yourself and the impression your showing your son.......:)

Sorry but I just find this post so patronising.
And I'm amazed that neither you nor anyone else here has asked what does this young mother do with her very young child when she's working.
Has no-one picked up that she hasn't said anything about that?
Since there's so much judgement flying around.... I personally think it's wrong to shunt very young children out to other people to look after.
Glaringly wrong!

likelyfran

Shak1rak wrote: »

Wow... I understand that people don't want to be stuck in a dead end job etc but to choose to live on the dole rather than actually earning everything you have in life is really confusing to me. I have twin 9 year olds (I went back to work when they turned 18months). I also have a 16month old(I went back part time 7 weeks after giving birth).
I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY TO MY CHILDREN THAT EVERYTHING THEY HAVE IS BECAUSE I WORKED ESPECIALLY HARD FOR THEM TO HAVE IT

The dole is a stop gap for people who NEED it... Not for people to take advantage of!!!!!!!

So, you abandoned your young babies to the care of others, rather than you, their mother, being with them and caring for them yourself, and are now criticising other mothers who don't leave their very young children to get money.

I honestly don't get this attitude at all. Seriously, something seems very badly mixed up somewhere.