Would you feel the same?

BitterAndTwisted

Three times now you have described how very badly he has behaved while under the influence. That's three times too many in my book.

Please stop blaming yourself and letting him off the hook. He's trouble. Divest yourself of it while you can because I really don't think things will get better or he'd have got himself under control after the first time if he gave half a !!!!!! about you, your feelings and your relationship.

That you don't want to have sex with him now either is very telling. That's your mind telling you what to do, and I think that you should listen.

madison-nyc

no , none of what you've described there is anywhere near norma!? why would you put up with someone aggressive , cheats on you , wets the bed , pees in your sink? do i need to go on???

NickyBat

Listen to your head not your heart.

moodydonkey

My ex and I were great just the two of us, yet like you whenever we were out it was a nightmare. I like to drink I really do but I don't get aggressive. He however would do what your bf does. Get narky and possessive and start a fight with anyone and everyone.
I lost count of the times (we worked together) that I would be ashamed following a night out because he had got into a fight with an innocent colleague.
I stopped going out with him because it was easier. I then stopped going out without him too because that was easier. He would carry on going out. And not surprisingly carry on getting into fights.
It isn't your fault, it isn't you that is incompatible. He may well be a lovely man, my ex certainly was IN SOME SITUATIONS but not when drink or other people were involved.
If he is not willing to address these things then you need to. Not end the relationship entirely maybe but I think regain some control on your part and get him to move out.

go_cat

Goodbye boyfriend....welcome single life with both hands and a dry bed :D

coinxoperated

Thank you all. You have confirmed my initial thoughts, but as we all do I think, I doubted myself.

Thank you all so much for replying. I'm off now to have a good 'ol cry and get some NVQ work done and think what the easiest way of ending this will be.

Thanks again to you all, I don't really have friends i can call and talk too, so your opinions mean a lot more than you think.

Thank you

BitterAndTwisted

Dunno about easiest but the I would suggest the direct approach. Something along the lines of "I can't accept your repugnant behaviour and won't any longer. I think it would be best if you found somewhere else to live and suggest you find somewhere by next weekend at the latest. Meanwhile you're sleeping on the sofa as long as you don't pee on it".

balletshoes

coinxoperated wrote: »

This morning, I've worked out all my incomings and outgoings, and I've worked out that I could still keep my life the way if is minus his cash if I left him (well kicked him out...)

An I over reacting, is this the norm for relationships now?

I've had some horrible relationships before, and if this ends, I don't want another. I think I'm just a happier person being single. I just seem to be incompatible!

What can I do to make it better? Is this normal? Is it just not meant to be?

omg no, this is not normal - you can't make it better, he's a drunken lout of an oaf (and thats me being polite).

Get rid, and chuck your mattress out, because eeuuuuugghhhhh!

Dunroamin

Quite apart from his drinking, it seems very strange to me that you never seem to go out together, only in a large crowd of people. It certainly sounds as if he wants to behave as if he's 10 years younger than he actually is.

claire16c

Just think once youve ended it, you can go out without worrying about this type of thing happening.

And then one day, find another man, who does not act like this.

Life is too short to waste it with some idiot like this.