Would you feel the same?

belfastgirl23

Are you sure he isn't an alcoholic? Regardless of how often he drinks, if this is how he behaves when drunk then he has a problem with alcohol.

BitterAndTwisted

Sorry, after that litany of terrible behaviour I'd be calling time on this one. His lack of restraint when under the influence would frighten me. There are lots of decent men out there but this isn't one of them.

Tiddlywinks

coinxoperated wrote: »

Maybe it's me and my priorities that are wrong?

Good grief - if you really believed that then why would you feel the need to offload to a bunch of strangers on an internet forum?

You have a choice to make - accept his behaviour or move on.

He won't change so you need to decide.. accept him as good enough for you or find someone that actually is!

Cat501

I'm inclined to think that shoving someone IS getting in a fight - it was nothing to do with him that the other guy decided not to fight back.

As for you having your priorities wrong. No. No no no no no. There are some relationships - equal, loving, supportive ones - which should be a very high priority in a person's life. This ain't one of them hun You're WAY too good for this carp x

Welshwoofs

coinxoperated wrote: »

Hi all,

Just wanted some opinions on what I should do.

Where you went wrong:

1. Having a guy move in that you've only known for 3 months
2. See #1
3. All the above


Here are the facts. You jumped the gun; you shacked up with a guy you know little about and now the cracks are showing and he's showing himself to be an ar-sehat.

Here's what you do:

1. Tell him to move out and if you don't want to dump him, at least 'rewind' your relationship to a more casual level.
2. Tell him to move out and if you don't want to dump him, at least 'rewind' your relationship to a more casual level.
3. All the above.

sassyblue

coinxoperated wrote: »

Maybe it's me and my priorities that are wrong?

No it's not you it's him. Get rid and don't look back.

The fact that you're still questioning yourself makes me wonder if hes controlling you to think that somewhat.

coinxoperated

He does have issue with limiting his booze. I as a general rule sonny really enjoy being so drunk. I hate the idea of being so vulnerable and not being able to get home without help. It screams pathetic to me.

He on the other hand was a big spirit drinker. The new years eve night out was the first night he really drank a lot. It was horrible and he did curb his drinking much more. He apologised and understood that I wasn't ok with it. If he drinks alcopops or beer he's fine, as soon as he touches spirits like JD and Coke, Shots, or Vodka, it sends him vile. It is like a cascading downward spiral though.

We go out
He gets drunk
I find him annoying and stupid
I dance / talk to others without meaning too (I just try too have a good night )
He gets peed off that I'm not desperately wanting his affection
I drink more
He drinks more
We come home
I don't want to talk but can't hold in my frustration
He gets adamant its all my fault
We wake up, he pretends like nothing happened.
I'm still reeling...
More arguments.

I do tend to hold on to things, I know this. Even though we 'got over' him kissing someone else, it still angers me. I know it's my fault I let it bother me, but that's a problem with me that at least I realise

londonsurrey

Ye gods. No, absolutely not normal. The only thing normal is that you toss bfs like him back in the pool

Please rest assured that there are much better ones out there, civilised, non-disgusting and even potty trained!

GobbledyGook

If you had said then when he'd sobered up he was apologetic and regretted his words/actions then I'd say that it was the drink that was the problem and if he agreed to curb that (it can easily be done, I know a man who doesn't touch alcohol now because he's a complete knob with a drink in him and his girlfriend only agreed to stay if he agreed to cut out booze altogether and he thinks it's worth it) then you could have something worth saving.

However if he maintains he was in the right then it's not drink that's the problem, it's him. Refusing to change the bedding (ergo he was expecting you too?) or not being bothered about it (any normal person having an accident would be mortified and paranoid about the smell imo) is extremely unattractive if nothing else.

We only have one side of the story obviously, but on what's written I'd say you'd be better off without him.

GobbledyGook

Plus if nothing else he's a cheeky git for getting so antsy about you dancing with other people when he's been off kissing and groping them!