friend living with us - all gone sour!

Gordon_Hose

Under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998

It is an offence to send an indecent, offensive or threatening letter or other form of electronic communication to another person.

Under s43 of the Telecommunications Act 1984 and Section 92 of the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994

A person who makes indecent, offensive or threatening calls to another via the telephone system network is guilty of an offence.

The conviction penalty varies from imprisonment to a maximum fine of up to £5,000.

In some cases (e.g. where the malicious calls form one element of a wider charge such as breach of an injunction, where there have been threats to kill etc) the defendant could be held in contempt of court or charged with grievous bodily harm or actual bodily harm under the Offences Against the Person Act.

Harassment Act of 1997

Other legislation that you need to be aware of is the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, which is aimed at protecting people from harassment and similar conduct.

If your hubby is a copper then he needs to be having a word with his colleagues. The toolbox suggesting he might put your windows in if you don't pay up is threatening behavior, and if you value your children's safety you need to report it to the Police no matter what.

I would tell him he has 24 hours to collect his stuff. If he doesn't come I would box his stuff up, make sure it can't get wet, and put it all outside on the front lawn for him.

I wouldn't be putting up with any sort of threats. If your windows do get put in he's gonna have difficulty explaining away his threat via text message.

He's a bully.

DVardysShadow

cord123 wrote: »

So - Update!I get home from work last night and his room has been emptied!
We didnt bother contacting him. We then receive a text. I will be back to get the rest of my stuff this week, leave my money with it.


My husband text back and said fine, what day. With regards to money please can you tell me who you can rent a room off, give four hours notice regarding vacating and expect to get your money returned. I will take £100 for a weeks notice and ask you to sign a receipt for the £200 when you collect the last of your stuff.


His response - I am not dictated to by anyone. I expect £300 and will not sign a thing. You dont want to cross me. I am guessing you like your windows.

What is it with you people? Your first response to his breaking the No Girls rule was to email him. And now you are texting?

Come on, get with it, you conduct this kind of dispute on face book and you PM the links to anyone here who asks.

cord123 wrote: »

Thing is my husband is a police officer - great idea to threaten smashing our windows!

No different to smashing anyone else's windows

cord123 wrote: »

I have never seen him like this... he has totally lost it. When sorting out the stuff in the garage we found pills which my husband thinks could be steriods, so whether that explains this I dont know!

Is probably the explanation.

cord123 wrote: »

We then receive a text. I will be back to get the rest of my stuff this week, leave my money with it.

He has keys???? Change the locks immediately.

mrcow

I absolutely agree - change your locks.

Now.

If you don't, you are both fools.

lostinrates

Another 'change the locks' from me. If his behaviour is unpredictable, and posdibly altered by steroids, then you cannot predict he will not be more foolish than he has already.

We have had family lodge with us and i can tell you we were clear but not draconian but would not have accepted this behaviour either. Dh is a lodger four nights a week and while his ll welcome me neither would we sit necking on their sofa, nor have noisy sex. Its not about being a lidger its about being courteous whateve the domestic situation is.

Caroline_a

Some of the symptoms experienced using steroids here

Another vote for changing locks, he could be irrational and aggressive, keep him away from your family.

Of course if he experiences some of the other symptoms the gf may not stay very long

*Louise*

On page one I was thinking 'make sure you get the key off him before giving any money back' but after further reading you deffo need to change the locks, preferably before he next turns up.

It sounds like you were too nice to him in the first place - they weren't allowed round the gf's place, so he brought her to yours. You should have repeated your rules straight away and not let him carry on taking the mickey.

He sounds like a nutter, best off getting rid of him. What does your OH plan to do about the stag do accomodation now?

mygirllollypop

Another one saying change the locks, You cannot take a risk with children in the house.
I would just leave the stuff outside on the day he is collecting, packed nicely and put somewhere it wont get wet if it rains.

Don't let him back inside the house, from personal experience of a friend mooching and then leaving the damage is unrepairable, I was £300 out of pocket and left feeling very bitter for a while, eventually though I figured out it was probably worth it to bin her from my life.

eskimo26

skintchick wrote: »

He's bluffing. Ignore him. Tell him you'll put his stuff outside for him. If he kicks off when he fetches it just call the police and do not open the door to him. He will then have form so if your windows are broken the police will know where to go, and if he wants his money he will have to sue you.

Don't be intimidated by this idiot but do use the £300 to change your locks.

Absolutely agree 100%.

I would say this is a police matter now. I'm surprised at OP's husband, he may be correct they won't arrest him but ask him how often they get someone coming to the station reporting an ongoing incident but the Police can't treat it with the urgency it needs because that person has not reported anything beforehand?

This is why people get frustrated, they ignore things and when they escalate they expect the Police to deal with it ASAP... well unfortunately it doesn't work like that as OP's Husband well knows.

Report the text! Lets say its all quiet for a week, a month, a few years even. Then he decides for whatever reason to seek retribution. You need to have that incident number so the Police are able to treat it with the correct level of urgency it needs. Don't put them in a situation where their hands are tied.

Also from a quick search on Amazon it seems [?] security cameras are very cheap.

In these situations you want to bury your head in the sand and let it slide hoping it will go away, we've all been there. But you need to send out a robust message to him:
I would go with the following:

Contact the police and log the relevant incidents so far.

Seek police advice, if the police agree send him one last message to tell him because of the text this is now a police matter and make it clear he is to contact you only through the police.

Find a mutual friend to agree to take his stuff or take them to the police station and tell him in your last message he can get them there.

Make sure every incident of unofficial contact he attempts is passed on to the Police and do not reply it will contradict your position!

Set up a cheap CCTV system and at the very least change the locks!

And you should have passed on the pills to the police the second you found them really. It all makes for a stronger case.

With the money situation seek legal advice, i believe 30 mins. is free?
Ask if he has a claim, if he does have a claim can you pay in instalments, can you deduct anything for breaking rules, leaving early despite not being forced out, having the girlfriend to stay... [doubtful as no contract was made but i'm NOT a lawyer].

There may be more to it then that as well.

Bear in mind not having a contract can work in his favour and yours. He sounds like he is willing to bend the truth and you may have to do similar.

That's my tuppence worth good luck.