friend living with us - all gone sour!

newcook

what a cheeky f****r!!! I'd tell him to jog on for his money! he has paid rent and because he cant get his own way he's throwing his toys out of his pram!

Im shocked at the way some people behave in others homes!

Bogof_Babe

He sounds like a spoilt brat. I expect your children have more respect for other people than this waste of space.

Did he pay the first £400 either before or on the day he moved in? Could there be any element of "arrears" in his payments, which would mean he owes you for time already spent at yours?

As to him "not being able to get over this"... "please yourself then" would be the appropriate reply!

Wickedkitten

You really should think of this with your business hat on if you ever do it again. If you are accepting money from someone for the use of a room even if they do happen to be a friend, then it's not hospitality, its a business arrangement so get everything sorted in writing including a proviso on overnight guests..

londonsurrey

What kind of braindead moron doesn't know not to wake a sleeping toddler at night, let alone take offence when it's pointed out?

Really, tell your husband to ditch him.

suki1001

My mother has shared with people and the reason it went wrong was lack of communication. Is he actually all that selfish? Do you know him to be like this normally - is he a reasonable guy? Would he actually really want you to know he was at it and that you could all hear? Surely not?


My mother spend the whole time moaning about someone to me, but never actually communicated her feelings to the other person - just thought they should know, like good manners, but the thing is, if ground rules are not properly communicated, even if you think they should know, then it's likely to go wrong. the fact he doesn't have children himself, will mean he won't have an inkling about how much routine is to a parent.
My sister is one of those parents who expects people to know. She is so over-bothered about her son's routine, she has waltzed into our house, turned the tv off and told everyone to be quiet.

You are at different situations in your lives - unless you all communicate very well, it will go wrong, because you have different priorities. Yes, being in love with someone makes you selfish.

SnowyOwl_2

Change the locks so that he can't get back in. Regards the money, pay him back as and when it suits you. He has had complete disregard for your feelings and a lack of respect for your home - not much of a friend I'm afraid...

Pollycat

suki1001 wrote: »

Is he actually all that selfish? Do you know him to be like this normally - is he a reasonable guy? Would he actually really want you to know he was at it and that you could all hear? Surely not?

Well, according to a few of the OP's post, I think I'd certainly say he was pretty selfish......

cord123 wrote: »

they sit there literally groping each other in the living room and make as much noise as possible when they go to bed or get up (he gets up an hour earlier than us)
But to top it off, they came in yesterday at about 6, we told them to shhh because our DS was asleep early, they continued to make a noise and he woke up.

cord123 wrote: »

Oh he is a nightmare for these sulks!
He didnt speak to my OH a few years ago because he rung my OH up at 6 in the morning asking to be picked up after a night out because he had no money.... my OH would have maybe considered it but it was only a 15 minute walk home! He just said it was too cold - he didnt talk to us then for three months and they only reason he started again was because my OH was diagnosed with cancer!!

cord123 wrote: »

I just feel that we have been really good and relaxed about him having this stranger in our house and he cant see that. Oh well - it looks like it may get nasty which is a shame because he isnt a horrible bloke - just incredible selfish!

cord123 wrote: »

a couple of days before my husband spoke to him about using our en suite (basically our ensuite has a shower cubicle in it and our family bathroom has a bath with a shower attachemnt but it is a bit rubbish. We agreed that he could use our ensuite as long as we left our bedroom door open, so he knew that we werent in there etc) my husband was having a lie in, was about half 8. He barges in (doesnt knock) and goes into the en suite to shower. My husband said to him later cheers for the wake up call this morning and he said you should have been up. He said, what time I get up is up to me and said next time you will either have to use the other bathroom or wait - heis words were I can do what the f*&% I like! He said it in a jokey way apparently but that is his attitude.

I just think this could be the nail in the coffin for the friendship because he has said to my husband until we realise that we are in the wrong he cant move on from this!!

Is he actually all that selfish?

I think to call him selfish is actually being disrespectful to selfish people. :rotfl:

He seems to be a nailed on cert for the Olympic gold medal for selfishness.

j.e.j.

Of course there's two sides to every story, but it seems here that the boundaries might have got blurred a bit. Is he a paying lodger or a 'friend'.

Perhaps as a child-free person he wouldn't have much of a clue about the childrens routine, granted, but there are other aspects to his behaviour that are out of order, and while yes, communicating is key, there comes a point when you can't be expected to correct a grown adult!!

Lotus-eater

Alot of this could just be down to a modern house with no soundproofing.

suki1001

Pollycat wrote: »

Well, according to a few of the OP's post, I think I'd certainly say he was pretty selfish......








Is he actually all that selfish?

I think to call him selfish is actually being disrespectful to selfish people. :rotfl:

He seems to be a nailed on cert for the Olympic gold medal for selfishness.

No, I mean did they know him to be this sort of person before he moved in. If you know someone for years and get on, then they move in and they start behaving like that, it's down to lack of communication. My mum used to moan about my husband because of his behaviour when we all lived together. You'd think he'd know - well, unless everything is clearly communicated that it's not acceptable, then unless they're mind readers, they're not going to know it hacks the other person off. even if the other person is nearly choking on the incredulousness of it. People don't turn into nightmares all of a sudden, it's just you have to be very good at getting things accross. No, he shouldn't have behaved like that, but there are 2 sides to every story.