friend living with us - all gone sour!

Pollycat

I don't see the OP as 'harping on about things he's done in the past'.
I think she's mentioned them as an indication of his selfishness.

Her 1st & 2nd posts were all about what has happened recently i.e. since he moved in with them.

paddy's_mum

sulkisu wrote: »

Pointless harping on about the things that he has done in the past

True but sometimes letting all your temper out in a safe environment can't half ease the burden of anger and resentment you feel!

'A flow of words, like a flow of blood, can wash away poison.'

sulkisu

But OP is not just letting off steam. She asks, what should she do and my response remains the same. His behaviour is unacceptable to her, he has offered to move out, so letting him move out seems the obvious solution.

When I said 'things that he has done in the past', I meant the things that he has done since he moved in with them - using their shower, nephew staying, etc.

cord123

So - Update!I get home from work last night and his room has been emptied!
We didnt bother contacting him. We then receive a text. I will be back to get the rest of my stuff this week, leave my money with it.


My husband text back and said fine, what day. With regards to money please can you tell me who you can rent a room off, give four hours notice regarding vacating and expect to get your money returned. I will take £100 for a weeks notice and ask you to sign a receipt for the £200 when you collect the last of your stuff.


His response - I am not dictated to by anyone. I expect £300 and will not sign a thing. You dont want to cross me. I am guessing you like your windows.


I am at a loss! All this because I dared have exception to him humping during the day!!


Thing is my husband is a police officer - great idea to threaten smashing our windows!


So he is coming wed night - we already told him this isnt conveniant as we have people over for dinner. His reply was that it wasnt his problem.


Thing is, these people are my husbands (and his) friends. We have since found out that he had an arguement with one of them because he thinks they tried it on with his new girlfriend! This friend is getting married in Dec.


Tbh, I think we may just give him the £300 to let him think he has won and then get him out of our lives!


I just cant believe it has come to this! I honestly thought we were doing him a favor by letting him stay, and that we didn't need any paperwork. Believe me, we will NEVER be doing this again!


I have never seen him like this... he has totally lost it. When sorting out the stuff in the garage we found pills which my husband thinks could be steriods, so whether that explains this I dont know!


Its a strange world isnt it? My reaction, would have been one of being absolutely mortified, followed up by profusily apologising! Myabe he is embarrassed by the whole situtation and this is how he is dealing with it?


I would love to know where he has gone and what he has told them why he had to move out of ours so quickly! We are not saying anything to anybody.... they will work out for themselves what he is like... it just took us a while! :-(


My husband and his mum are very upset over it - she is right though - I suppose the saving grace is that we didnt come home to find them doing the reverse cowgirl on our living room sofa!!!

cord123

*sorry - should have said - my husband friends are round for dinner on the wed evening with their partners! AWKWARD!

joannaspanner

what a tool.

sulkisu

Scrape together the £300 any way you can. Count it out to him when he collects his things - in front of your friends who will then be witnesses (their presence might also stop him kicking off or doing something stupid) - and consider that you have had a lucky escape.
You can always get a paying lodger, with a formal written agreement, to bring in extra money to help clear the debts (if you can bear a stranger in the house).

aliasojo

I think this chap has psycho tendencies, I think you really need to pick your friends more carefully.

I'd be so tempted to text him back and tell him his text has been reported.

There's clearly no friendship to save now so don't be reluctant to be proactive.

Amanda65

Cord - how awful for you but tbh it sounds like a lucky escape, especially if he is taking drugs of some sort. You definitely don't want those in the house with little ones around.

I assume as a police officer your husband will have kept the text threatening your windows, just in case. The guy must be a complete idiot to think he could get away with such stupid behaviour. In a way it may be good to have others round when he collects his things, if only as witnesses and then if (heaven forbid) it does all kick off you have someone else to back up your story.

It's such a shame when people you consider friends act so pathetically - one day he will probably wake up and realise what an @r$e he's been, in the meantime I would stay well clear.

j.e.j.

cord123 wrote: »

Thing is, these people are my husbands (and his) friends. We have since found out that he had an arguement with one of them because he thinks they tried it on with his new girlfriend! This friend is getting married in Dec.

So he's managing to alienate other people as well..

What are the chances of him really turning up or smashing your windows? It might be all talk. He sounds a bit of a plank, tbh.

I'd say tell other people, if they ask. Why keep it a secret? He might go and do the same to someone else.