friend living with us - all gone sour!

BitterAndTwisted

If he's the one deciding to move out immediately, for whatever reason, then I would take the stance that you are entitled to either a month's notice or the rent in lieu.

He doesn't need the cash and without anything in writing about notice on either side he's in no position to demand anything from you, never mind any rent back.

You could tell him that for every night his bint has stayed over without your permission her rent would have been X amount a night. Plus a premium of Y for the disgraceful infringement of your family's privacy.

Expect this to be the death-knell on any future friendship. And good riddance, too. I cannot believe how selfish and ungrateful he has been to you.

Tuesday_Tenor

Ideally you should have had some advance agreement on terminating the arrangement. I would think a month's notice either way, if that is the frequency of rent payment.

What period was the recent £400 rent to cover - the coming month?

If both the above had been clear, then:
No of course you're not being unreasonable on telling him that you're being made to feel uncomortable in your own home, and your child's sleep has been disturbed, by his complete lack for consideration

No, you're not being unreasonable in keeping his money, as you aren't giving him notice at all, the room is his for another month, and HE is the one deciding to move out at short notice.

However, this falls down a bit if someone could genuinely argue that the arrangements weren't clear and that a week's notice either way would be just as reasonable. Even on this basis, though, the most he should get back is £200 as he should have given a week's notice.

Difficult one, with the difficulties caused by lack of clarity in the frst place. So you may need to compromise a bit. The upside is that your home returns to normal.

raven83

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

If he's the one deciding to move out immediately, for whatever reason, then I would take the stance that you are entitled to either a month's notice or the rent in lieu.

He doesn't need the cash and without anything in writing about notice on either side he's in no position to demand anything from you, never mind any rent back.

You could tell him that for every night his bint has stayed over without your permission her rent would have been X amount a night. Plus a premium of Y for the disgraceful infringement of your family's privacy.

Expect this to be the dell-knell on any future friendship. And good riddance, too.

I love it :rotfl::rotfl:

Acc72

cord123 wrote: »

I am just worried about where we will find this £300.... he knows our financial situation, he had 50k sitting in the bank from the sale of his house... we have not told him to move out, he has decided he 'has' to. I just think its unfair that we will now have to borrow this £300 from someone and pay it back over the next couple of months.

Firstly, I agree that it is for the best that he does move out.

Although I would say that if you agreed no girls staying over then you should have stuck to this on the first occassion.

Because you didn't do this - and are still saying that you could put up with the girl coming over - you are sending out mixed messages.

Either way, he has paid you a months rent a week ago, and will now move out and wants 3 weeks worth back - which is reasonable.

His financial situation is irrelevant, in my opinion you need to find the £300.

Others may have a different opinion and even start talking about rent agreements and notice periods etc. - but that is not how I would treat a friend.

Equally, if you do not give him the £300 back then surely he could stay at your house for the rest of the month - would you be happy with that ?

I assume that this is a good friend, and the way things pan out over the next week or so may determine whether you have a friendship in the future.

londonsurrey

Morally, he can have his "unused" rent money back, if you have no notice agreement.

However, HE changed the rules unexpectedly, HE chose to move out NOW. So again, you have the right to not have to pay him back right way, but over time. You don't have to jump the moment he tells you to.

joannaspanner

Just give him the unused rent money back and be glad he is gone.

BitterAndTwisted

Tuesday_Tenor wrote: »

However, this falls down a bit if someone could genuinely argue that the arrangements weren't clear and that a week's notice either way would be just as reasonable. Even on this basis, though, the most he should get back is £200 as he should have given a week's notice.

Difficult one, with the difficulties caused by lack of clarity in the first place. So you may need to compromise a bit. The upside is that your home returns to normal.

It isn't a difficult one at all. The conditions were made absolutely clear and he broke them without any consideration whatsoever. Or any decent amount of natural discretion either.

The lack of a formal, written agreement means the OP and her husband can take any position they damned-well like.

To hell with him!

**Patty**

All of the above BUT....

Why email him? Just sit him down & tell him. You're grown-ups.

raven83

**Patty** wrote: »

All of the above BUT....

Why email him? Just sit him down & tell him. You're grown-ups.

I wondered the same thing myself!

BitterAndTwisted

Eh, a grown-up would have accepted the conditions or not moved in at all.

A grown-up would have honoured the conditions that they had previously agreed to.

A grown-up would not have everyone in the house an unwilling witness to their grandstanding bedroom antics.

A grown-up would have apologised after the first night this tart stayed over and not invited her back again against their hosts' express wishes.

A grown-up would not now be stomping out and making unreasonable childish demands