Curfew for a 17 year old

tango

onlyroz wrote: »

If I had a 17-year-old in full time education, I wouldn't instigate a curfew *if* the following conditions were met:

- School work came first
- Any housework assigned to them was done
- They treated *us* with the proper respect
- I *always* knew when they would be back home, I knew roughly where they were, and would be informed if there was a delay

I agree I have four teenagers between 17 and 13. With that many children you have to run a fairly tight ship. It depends hugely on the child when you start to trust them, some are more mature and some aren't interested in staying out late. It is only fair to keep in touch with your parents and to not take the pi*s with staying out late every night. We worry and whilst our job is to make them independent adults , it is also our job to teach them the good manners to think of others and to be respectful .

Ames

No curfew for me, my sister or my cousins either.

I think as others have said, and you've agreed, it's good to be prepared to change your mind about that.

But the issue about how he spoke to you is something completely different and I think that needs to be addressed. But make sure he knows it's a different issue when you discuss it.

cte1111

I didn't have a curfew as a teenager. TBH I don't think there is much point in wanting to assert your authority over your almost grown up son. I do however think that you deserve a big apology for him being rude to you.

Raksha

My 17 year old doesn't have a set time to be home, I ask him what time he expects to be in when he goes out (since they were first going out with friends I've always asked where they are going, who they are going to be with, and when they will be home), I also ask that if he's going to be later than that, he lets me know. If it's past my bedtime, I go to bed - it's not going to change the circumstances if I'm awake or not and if i am needed to deal with an issue, i'll do it better if I've had some sleep.

geoffky

What is the differance between 1am and 5am? none its just a number but your son is asking a bigger question and you have not heard it yet...

Mum let me make my own mistakes because i am mature enougth to sort them out....please let go mum as i want to chart my own course ....

not a lot to ask...

System

I never really had this problem when i was 17, i was allowed to go and wtach bands at the local pub but back then all the pubs shut at 11pm so i'd always be home by then (showing my age now...:rotfl: )

Generally speaking though, as long as i checked in with them they were ok with me being out later than that. Once i hit 18 I was allowed total freedom pretty much.

My siblings were allowed out at 17 too, a long as it didn't interfere with school/work.

Yorkie1

geoffky wrote: »

What is the differance between 1am and 5am? none its just a number but your son is asking a bigger question and you have not heard it yet...

Mum let me make my own mistakes because i am mature enougth to sort them out....please let go mum as i want to chart my own course ....

not a lot to ask...

I guess it is a lot to ask if the OP can't get to sleep until the DS has come in at whatever hour suits him - and has to get up early thereafter with little sleep.

It's not just about letting him be mature, it's about him learning that his actions have consequences and that you need to be considerate of those impacts.

He doesn't give a monkey for the impact on his mum, it's all completely selfish on his part.

poet123

None of my teens had a curfew as such but because we were all up and out before eight every day we did expect them to be in at a reasonable time during the week. If there was something special on then as long as we knew about it that was OK. I think about 12.30am was the latest they stayed out midweek and I usually knew where they were and who they were with.

At weekends, I took the tack that they did need to be able to come home with friends rather than walk home alone so that they could meet a curfew. They always texted if they were staying out, they rarely stayed out very late before they went away to Uni, and those in first had to check who was in and who wasn't before they double locked the door!!

This still happens now, but now it can be 6am before they are all in at the weekend!! I have it all to go through again I suspect with my 15 year old....deep joy!

alex21

He has now told his grandmother he will be staying with a mate (no parents at this house naturally) for a few days. In other words I have given him what he wanted. Total freedom. I hope he doesn't run out of money:mad:

balletshoes

alex21 wrote: »

He has now told his grandmother he will be staying with a mate (no parents at this house naturally) for a few days. In other words I have given him what he wanted. Total freedom. I hope he doesn't run out of money:mad:

what money? if he does run out of money what will happen do you think?