Curfew for a 17 year old

alex21

What is a reasonable reasonable for a 17 yr old boy and does the area you live i have any bearing. I live in a small coastal town and have set a curfew of 1am at weekends an holidays as I want to know DS is safely in before I sleep and I get up for work at 05.45. DS says I think I am liberal but I am not. Actually he said a lot more and most of it was very hurtful. I would really appreciate any advice and would welcome a little perspective.

Toomuchdebt

I think that's more than reasonable.My daughter has to be home by midnight unless it's a special occasion like her prom, when she was allowed to be out till it finished.

spadoosh

Parent pretty much gave me free reign at 16 and im not too tapped!

Depends on your son to be honest, i wasnt really too much of an idiot so was aloud out whereever whenever. But normally was round at a friends house, never really hung around outside. If i was going out on the pi$$ i was aloud out as late as i wanted So long as i didnt wake them up when i got in.

Always had to check in though and let parents know roughly where i was. thought this was a good way because it helps stop lying and gave me loads of confidence.

If hes likely to end up loitering the streets at 2am then yeh i would put a curfew on, if hes at a friends or g/fs wouldnt bother.

Gillyx

I started going to Nightclubs when I was 16, so I'm not a good example but I too live in N.I and if I still do when my sons grown, at this time of year especially I think 1am is fine.

skylight

I can guess what he said - and it included that his mates get more than he does?? Every teen on the planet has tried that one.

You need to sit him down and quietly talk to him. Tell him that you were very hurt by what he said to you and if he has no regards for the feelings of others it's simply reinforcing the idea that he is not as mature as he thinks he is. He is 17, not quite an adult and therefore 1am is perfectly adequate. If he doesn't like it then how about 10pm instead? It is your house and while he lives there it needs to be your rules (regardless of his age). You are obviously happy to compromise but ultimately the buck stops with you so the end decision will be yours.

Lozzy88

At 17 i never had a curfew, i dont see the point in it being at 1am just tell him to text you his plans for the night staying out or coming home then you know what his plans are and hes not clockwatching

carolan78

My curfew pretty much went out of the window at 17 but like another poster I had to let my parents know where I was going.

dizsiebubba

I didn't have a curfew but my parents got up at 5.30am so I wasn't allowed to come home between 4.30 and 5.30 as they are light sleepers and would disturb them !

alex21

Like you, I will stretch the point for certain things and they don't even have to be as special as a prom. Just to ensure he sees his gf home safely or he can get a lift but a bit later. As long as he phones to let me know. He has decided as he is on holiday that he will not text or answer phone (his phone always dies lol) but this is not good enough and I was told where I could shove my curfew. This was the nicest thing he said.

shellsuit

I was working full time at the age of 17 and paying my fair share of keep, so if my parents would told me what time to be home by, I wouldn't have been happy.

My son is 16 now and has a curfew, or if he's going to be home late, he MUST let us know, which he has done in the past.

When he is 17, he'll be in 6th form, so I will expect him home at certain times, because we will still be responsible for him, but if he came out of 6th form and was working to support himself, he could come home when he chose, so long as he didn't take the mickey.

spadoosh

alex21 wrote: »

Like you, I will stretch the point for certain things and they don't even have to be as special as a prom. Just to ensure he sees his gf home safely or he can get a lift but a bit later. As long as he phones to let me know. He has decided as he is on holiday that he will not text or answer phone (his phone always dies lol) but this is not good enough and I was told where I could shove my curfew. This was the nicest thing he said.

Get your local paper, take it home to him, open it at the property pages and start circling 1 bed flats in your local area. Ask which ones he likes the look of and say 'you aint treating me like !!!!!, you can try it on your next landlord' chuck in there stuff like, they won't do your washing and make tea etc. Or cheer youup when youve been crying.

He'll feel guilty as and say sorry, then tell him to make your tea and youll be nice enough to forget about so long as he lets you know where he is when he's out.