Boyfriend/husband and lap dancing clubs..???

globalds

I went to my first one this year.
The guy I went with paid for a private dance for me.
(Only the budget 5 minutes -cheap skate )

I preferred the talking to scantily clad girls at the bar than the dance.

She was very nice but the no touching thing is a real rubbish idea... I suppose the alternative would be a knocking shop so understandable.

Was it cheating .. I think not ..
To be honest I was impressed with how empowered the ladies were .. I spoke for quite a while with a Viking girl from Finland.
She was getting married herself soon .. Her head was so in the right place .. I never chatted her up .. but I think if I had tried she would have put me in my place.

I would not go back .. but only because it did less than nothing it left me feeling like the earlier meal metaphor

raven83

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

^ (under Torry) Yes it is really the crux of it all I guess. We have had issues in the past with him staying in contact with girls who he had been seeing on a casual basis or had been working up to that, before he got with me. I guess also, I am feeling that there is a lack of a special connection between us. I can't remember the last time he kissed me for longer than a peck on the lips, for example. It's all just adding up.

So really this is the root of the problem them and him having a private dance has compounded that, if i was you, you need to have a think of what you want from the relationship and if you really want to be in it.

Lancslass1982

^(under sassyblue) YES!! We aren't married, but do live together. But he does definitely behave like one of the lads, "bros before hoes" and all that. He really disappointed me earlier this year when he chose to attend a stag do this Sept (for quite a recent friend, who he really is not close with at all) on the weekend that my 30th birthday falls on. Had this been a good or long term friend, I would have totally understood, but he really is not and we are not even going to the wedding.:(

minerva_windsong

Yes to going to a strip club in a big group on occasion (stag dos etc), yes to a stripper in a big group on occasion. If it became a regular thing though then I wouldn't be happy about it.

I know my OH will end up being bought a private dance at his stag do and as weird as it sounds provided there was no touching I can deal with that, because that's about them embarrassing him. If he had gone into a club and paid for his own private dance, stag do or not, then that's different and I wouldn't be happy with that, because for want of a better phrase he'd chosen to do that (and yes I am fully aware that equally he could choose not to have the private dance, I've heard of times when the stripper has seen the guy doesn't want it and said, "We don't have to do this, we can just talk and you can tell your mates whatever you want when you come out").

Oh, and I know he watches !!!!!! and I'm OK with that - we've watched it together as well. On the male stripper thing, personally it's not for me - I just find it a bit cheesy and naff.

shellsuit

geri1965 wrote: »

Why is it that whenever I tell people that he doesn't look at !!!!!!, they either think I am lying or that he is deceiving me? I am no prude, and I have looked at !!!!!! myself in the past, and had boyfriends who do (most of them). But my current OH does not, what is so hard to believe about that? There are men who think it is degrading to women or are just not that bothered about it.

I'm with you on that, geri.

My hubby is not interested in !!!!!!, he'd rather read a car mag or look on a car forum.

Not every man looks at !!!!!!, I don't know why anyone who think every man does?

raven83

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

^(under sassyblue) YES!! We aren't married, but do live together. But he does definitely behave like one of the lads, "bros before hoes" and all that. He really disappointed me earlier this year when he chose to attend a stag do this Sept (for quite a recent friend, who he really is not close with at all) on the weekend that my 30th birthday falls on. Had this been a good or long term friend, I would have totally understood, but he really is not and we are not even going to the wedding.:(

Well in that case he sounds like a bit of a pig tbh, i think you need to find someone who appreciates you more.

Lancslass1982

:rotfl: not something that was just like a comedy show with naked people in it. This made me lol!! Thank-you for that - I needed a laugh!

pinksk8

I wouldnt have a problem with my OH going to a strip club or getting a dance, however if he started neglecting me and going regularly, I would wonder about the state of the relationship.

However I think he would just cringe at the situation, but I know about his DVD "collection"! x x

BugglyB

Lancslass, I think you have a bigger problem than the strip club to be honest. Broes before hoes? Really? *Shudder*

I'm not saying you should be more important than his friends - we all have different priorities - but if he sees you as 'the ball and chain' rather than a joyous part of the rich tapestry of his existence then srsly, you deserve better.

As for me I wouldn't care if my OH had a lap dance. I'd be surprised, but as long as he carried on being the same old caring, attentive, thoughtful guy, and he'd been honest about it, I can't see myself losing sleep.

nearlyrich

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

I have told him how I feel and he says that he can't understand why I'm making such a big deal out of it. This just upset me even more. He says I can't have it both ways because we got the bride-to-be a stripper at her hen do. However, for me, there is a significant difference between 6 hens giggling and shrieking at a stripper, who ended his act by getting the bride-to-be to throw hoops on his penis, and somebody paying for a naked dance in a private booth.

I am gutted.:(

I think, and it's just my opinion, that from his point of view you saw a naked man and he saw a naked woman, no wonder he can't see why you are so mad;)