Boyfriend/husband and lap dancing clubs..???

debsy42

If my OH wanted to go to a strip club/lap dance or have a private dance I would have no problem at all with it, the only thing is that he spends his own money. In a similar vein if I wanted to go to see the Chippendale's etc then I know he wouldn't object, we have respect and trust each other and it's wouldn't be a big deal on either side.

geri1965_2

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Wow. another man who doesn't look at p0rn hmmmmmm

Why is it that whenever I tell people that he doesn't look at !!!!!!, they either think I am lying or that he is deceiving me? I am no prude, and I have looked at !!!!!! myself in the past, and had boyfriends who do (most of them). But my current OH does not, what is so hard to believe about that? There are men who think it is degrading to women or are just not that bothered about it.

thatgirlsam

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

thatgirlsam - it's not the strippers intentions that bother me. It's the fact that my bf wanted to pay for some random naked girl to writhe on him. It's his actions that bother me, not her intentions.

Yeh I can understand that

The thing is with a lot of guys is they can have sexual feeling without any emotion at all, something that a lot of women don't do. They compartmentalise, and it really doesn't have to take anything away from his feelings towards you, if you choose not to let it.

The problem comes when he knows this would upset you and he still does it anyway, this is not respectful.

Only you know what you should do

thatgirlsam

geri1965 wrote: »

Why is it that whenever I tell people that he doesn't look at !!!!!!, they either think I am lying or that he is deceiving me? I am no prude, and I have looked at !!!!!! myself in the past, and had boyfriends who do (most of them). But my current OH does not, what is so hard to believe about that? There are men who think it is degrading to women or are just not that bothered about it.

Just that men who do not look at p0rn are in the vast, vast minority, and yet already we have 2 of this thread! What are the chances of that

Lancslass1982

^ (under Torry) Yes it is really the crux of it all I guess. We have had issues in the past with him staying in contact with girls who he had been seeing on a casual basis or had been working up to that, before he got with me. I guess also, I am feeling that there is a lack of a special connection between us. I can't remember the last time he kissed me for longer than a peck on the lips, for example. It's all just adding up.

busiscoming2

I'm with the majority who wouldn't mind DH going to a lap club with mates as part of a Stag or the like but, I would be annoyed if he'd had a private dance.

!!!!!! is one thing, its only pictures and videos but a real life person right in front of you, dancing naked just for you is something different IMO.

But I have to say how to you get hoops onto a flaccid penis or wasn't it?

geri1965_2

runningwoman wrote: »

They're always going to be controversial - I think if you have strong views on stuff like that you should partner up with people with similar views, and avoid any arguments that way.

But you can't force people or other women or "society" to be uncomfortable with stuff just because you yourself aren't.

We do have similar views on most things, although there are some things I am passionate about that he doesn't feel very strongly about (e.g. the fur trade) and he loves things that I am not much interested in (e.g. cricket).

I never suggested that anyone should be forced to be uncomfortable about things, what a bizarre thing to suggest.

geri1965_2

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Just that men who do not look at p0rn are in the vast, vast minority, and yet already we have 2 of this thread! What are the chances of that

Next you will be telling me he *must* fancy Angelina Jolie, because most men do!

sassyblue

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

Just to add that I had no problem with him being at the lap dancing club and watching the girls dancing and stripping on the stage etc. It's the intimacy of the one on one lap dance that I have a definite problem with. I think this might be the nail in the coffin to be honest.

Sounds like there's other stuff happened in the past then? can you trust him? I'm not saying anything happened but does he behave like one of the lads when he has a wife at home?

You don't have to explain I'm not fishing but l can see why you're angry if this is not the first time he's had disrespect for you or your feelings. X

thatgirlsam

geri1965 wrote: »

Next you will be telling me he *must* fancy Angelina Jolie, because most men do!

Uhh.. Cos that's exactly the same thing isn't it!!

:rotfl:

Fair play to you if you beleive your OH