Boyfriend/husband and lap dancing clubs..???

RuthnJasper

I remember Karl Pilkington once saying on the XFM radio show he did with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant that going to a lap-dancing club was a bit like going to a posh restaurant, having them cook and serve you a nice dinner and then saying "Woah, woah! You can't EAT it! And then it's just there... getting cold..." :rotfl:

I wouldn't mind if my b/f went to a lap dancing club (better that than having an affair, I guess...) - but paying for a private dance would be a BIG no-no for me.

After all, why go out for a cheapo burger, when there's fillet steak at home, right...?! :D;)

Lancslass1982

I agree poorly scammo, it is obviously something that different people will have different views on. I just wanted to make sure that my views were not completely different to others' views.

Basically my bf went on my brother's stag do this weekend and on one of the nights, ended up in a quite well know lap dancing club. Fine, I thought. Bit of embarrassment for the stag, to cajole him into a dance and have a laugh at him. However, on my bf's return, he has admitted that he paid for a private dance.

I am absolutely disgusted and have told him so. The thought that he chose to have some naked stripper dancing for him alone has upset me so much. To be honest I can't even look at him.

I have told him how I feel and he says that he can't understand why I'm making such a big deal out of it. This just upset me even more. He says I can't have it both ways because we got the bride-to-be a stripper at her hen do. However, for me, there is a significant difference between 6 hens giggling and shrieking at a stripper, who ended his act by getting the bride-to-be to throw hoops on his penis, and somebody paying for a naked dance in a private booth.

I am gutted.:(

raven83

Wouldn't really bother me, in fact i'd ask if he could take me with him:p, i've been myself to them in the past and i must admit i quite enjoyed it;) but then that's just me and i am very open minded about things like that.

FatVonD

It's a 'no' and 'no' from me too. DH's band rehearse sometimes in a pub that has strippers and I'm not naive enough to think they don't take a look on their breaks but a lap dance (either privately or in the main club) is more one to one and as such I know where you're coming from OP.

confused76

Lancslass i can see why you're upset and i would be in your situation xxx I know my OH has been in the past in a big group before we got together. I'd have to deal with it if there's a stag do or whatever, but i would be upset if he got a private dance

I hope you can talk it through with your OH and try and put it behind you xx

Lotus-eater

He did it once, probably to try out a situation, probably after lots of beer.

If he started doing it every week, I think you would have something to complain about, otherwise I think you ought to cut him a bit of slack.

shellsuit

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

I agree poorly scammo, it is obviously something that different people will have different views on. I just wanted to make sure that my views were not completely different to others' views.

Basically my bf went on my brother's stag do this weekend and on one of the nights, ended up in a quite well know lap dancing club. Fine, I thought. Bit of embarrassment for the stag, to cajole him into a dance and have a laugh at him. However, on my bf's return, he has admitted that he paid for a private dance.

I am absolutely disgusted and have told him so. The thought that he chose to have some naked stripper dancing for him alone has upset me so much. To be honest I can't even look at him.

I have told him how I feel and he says that he can't understand why I'm making such a big deal out of it. This just upset me even more. He says I can't have it both ways because we got the bride-to-be a stripper at her hen do. However, for me, there is a significant difference between 6 hens giggling and shrieking at a stripper, who ended his act by getting the bride-to-be to throw hoops on his penis, and somebody paying for a naked dance in a private booth.

I am gutted.:(

See, that's something that would definitely not appeal to me, and I'd rather sit at home with a book

The only penis I want to see, and play with, is my husband's.




BUT, I can see where your BF is coming from. If you're playing games with a blokes penis, he most likely had a private dance because the other blokes did. Did you all throw hoops over the blokes penis, or find it hysterical and go with the flow? Did all the blokes have a private dance?
Can you see where I'm coming from?

I don't think my husband would be happy at all if he knew I'd been throwing hoops over another man's penis, just as I wouldn't be happy with him having a private dance/going to a strip club.

jungle_jane

I can see where your bf is coming from - I agree with him.

However that's just my personal opinion. What is more important is for you guys to discuss with issue calmly and reach an agreement moving forward. That might mean that you need to compromise too - it might be entirely feasible that he does not like the idea of you being in the presence of a naked stripper...

Lancslass1982

I can, however, the stripper was completely focused on the bride-to-be. Nobody else interacted with him at all physically/threw hoops and nobody went off to a private booth with him for a personal show.:(

RuthnJasper

Lancslass1982 wrote: »

I agree poorly scammo, it is obviously something that different people will have different views on. I just wanted to make sure that my views were not completely different to others' views.

Basically my bf went on my brother's stag do this weekend and on one of the nights, ended up in a quite well know lap dancing club. Fine, I thought. Bit of embarrassment for the stag, to cajole him into a dance and have a laugh at him. However, on my bf's return, he has admitted that he paid for a private dance.

I am absolutely disgusted and have told him so. The thought that he chose to have some naked stripper dancing for him alone has upset me so much. To be honest I can't even look at him.

I have told him how I feel and he says that he can't understand why I'm making such a big deal out of it. This just upset me even more. He says I can't have it both ways because we got the bride-to-be a stripper at her hen do. However, for me, there is a significant difference between 6 hens giggling and shrieking at a stripper, who ended his act by getting the bride-to-be to throw hoops on his penis, and somebody paying for a naked dance in a private booth.

I am gutted.:(

Sweetie, I know how wretched you must be feeling. I'd feel the same, I really would.

But everything needs to be taken in context - I'm not defending him, but just thinking that he'd probably had FAR too much to drink, was put on the spot by his mates and didn't want to look like a wuss in front of them.

I think that the activities with the male stripper probably seem just as bad to him as what he did (you know what men are like about their pinkles as compared to other blokes') - they sound pretty sordid to me (apologies - I'm not judging anyone who likes that - I just don't think that anything in the "touching" or "throwing things at" someone else's genitalia is very entertaining).

I remember, also, speaking to a male friend about a lap-dancing club close to where I live (closed now though). His mates had paid for him to have a "private dance" and it wasn't in a little booth at all - it was in a separate, darker room out the back, where various other blokes were also getting their "private" dances. I'm guessing that there was more ACTUAL intimate contact with male stripper than there was with the lap-dancer.

At least your b/f told you - it would have been worse if he hadn't and you'd found out another way.

Hope you can work your way through this. x