Am I being over sensitive ?

Person_one

I'd have been a lot more understanding if the posting pattern hadn't gone like this:

OP: Why is it ok for birth mum to mess them around?

Others: Well, it isn't, but that's not under your control

OP: Why is it ok for birth mum to mess them around but not me?

Others: It isn't ok, for either of you

OP: So it looks like everybody thinks its ok for birth mum to mess the kids around but terrible if I mess them around

Others: Um, no, we don't think its ok

OP: I just think its terrible that its considered ok for birth mum to mess them around but not a stepmum.

Ad nauseum.

thatgirlsam

I can totally understand that for a moment in time the OP didn't feel as important to her OH as his ex

But when you look at the reality of the situation then really, it shouldn't be at the children's expense

Some people on the OP's 'side' have said that their children will always come first, why isn't that afforded to the Dad in this situation?

I think there has been some helpful suggestions on this thread!

Edit - The best case scenario would have been for the OH to check with his ex regarding her plans and maybe had the children the night before, or the night after, so they wouldn't have missed out.

Sambucus_Nigra

thatgirlsam wrote: »

But when you look at the reality of the situation then really, it shouldn't be at the children's expense

Again, which child? The son whose bed is being slept in or the child who has another bed at home?

People can't say 'think of the poor children' when it's another child that is being thought of that caused the situation in the first place.

thatgirlsam

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Again, which child? The son whose bed is being slept in or the child who has another bed at home?

People can't say 'think of the poor children' when it's another child that is being thought of that caused the situation in the first place.

Her oldest son doesn't live there! He also has a bed somewhere else!

Sambucus_Nigra

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Her oldest son doesn't live there! He also has a bed somewhere else!

Oh - the words I read were that he had come home for a few weeks.

So presumably, that's his home?

thatgirlsam

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Oh - the words I read were that he had come home for a few weeks.

So presumably, that's his home?

Because the OP hasn't wanted to say how old he is I presume he is old enough to be living elsewhere, and has returned to his Mum's house for a few weeks. So it's not his permanent home

I still think of my Mum's house as 'home' in a way, even though I haven't lived there for over 20 years!

I'm guessing there must be other issues as she also said he wouldn't be able to sit in the living room with her OH for the evening.

Either way, personally I would be shocked if one of my adult children couldn't sleep on the sofa for ONE night, to accomodate their step siblings.

Sambucus_Nigra

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Because the OP hasn't wanted to say how old he is I presume he is old enough to be living elsewhere, and has returned to his Mum's house for a few weeks. So it's not his permanent home

I still think of my Mum's house as 'home' in a way, even though I haven't lived there for over 20 years!

I'm guessing there must be other issues as she also said he wouldn't be able to sit in the living room with her OH for the evening.

Either way, personally I would be shocked if one of my adult children couldn't sleep on the sofa for ONE night, to accomodate their step siblings.

Where does it say he is an adult?

Ellejmorgan

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

She actually asked for a virtual hug or two.

I think you may have issues with reading and understanding things up there on that high horse!

No I already said the PWC wasn't in the right, what more does she want...

Vitual Hug ok here we go..

Op you rock..
OP you are the best mother in the world
Op the PWC is horrible person..
Op you are always right..
Op is the nicest sweetest kindest devoted women ever..

Here's a big cuddle...

There is that good enough for you

Sambucus_Nigra

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

No I already said the PWC wasn't in the right, what more does she want...

Vitual Hug ok here we go..

Op you rock..
OP you are the best mother in the world
Op the PWC is horrible person..
Op you are always right..
Op is the nicest sweetest kindest devoted women ever..

Here's a big cuddle...

There is that good enough for you

That's better. :T:T:T

Once more with feeling though.

thatgirlsam

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Where does it say he is an adult?

Where does it say he's not an adult??

I do have SOME sympathy for how the OP felt. Just personally felt she was over reacting. She asked in her opening line.. Am I being over sensitive? I thought.... Yes!