Am I being over sensitive ?

Errata

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Er yeh? That was my point!!

But... he's not 2 years old.

Exactly, and as he's old enough to live away from home, he's old enough to bunk down on the floor for just one night. Of course, this problem is going to occur the next time the toddlers are due to spend the night at their dads. What happens then? Sorry toddlers, there's no room at this inn for you?

Mrs_Arcanum

I do agree the children should come first. However, it does seem that the only person who is really considering everyone involved is flyonthewall. Her partner is more concerned with the ex and not his children. The ex is more concerned with what is convenient for her. Meanwhile flyonthewall gets dumped on by both of them.

So in answer to the thread title: - No you are not being over sensitive.

Sambucus_Nigra

Elle7 wrote: »

What is your advice going to be if the other children cannot go home for whatever reason?

The OP won't know whether the kids can go home, as the OH didn't even ask! That's the whole point of the thread...I'm sure if he had have asked and taken the OP's son into consideration she wouldn't have posted this rant.

mumps

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

I fail to see how different cultures are relevant, could you expand please..

Lots of people were talking about how important routine is and in our culture it seems to be valued. Not all cultures feel routine is important in bringing children up. I have spent some time with tribal people, not really relevant why when or who, but their babies were strapped onto the mother fed when they wanted to, went to bed when mom did, got passed to older sisters, grandmothers etc as and when. When parents were socialising children went along and would just lie down and go to sleep when they wanted to. When it was time to go home the children would be woken, usually with cold water splashed on the face, and then walked home. I never saw a child being sent to bed or told it was bedtime, children went to bed when they were tired, no fuss. Relatives might visit and one of their children might get left behind with Grandmother or aunt and equally they might take one or two extra back with them for a visit. Like I said, no routine.

None of those children seemed to be damaged by a life that was flexible to say the least. I don't think the 2 year olds will suffer greatly by visiting dad and then going home, after all this is what they do three weeks out of four.

mumps

Person_one wrote: »

Even if you don't think routine is important, I think being able to rely on your dad not to let you down and break promises to see you is important whatever your culture!

I don't think the OP said he can't see them just that for once they couldn't stay over.

emweaver

flyonthewall wrote: »

oh this hurts me a bit, I am always telling him to have them stay over more, its him that says no to this, I generally love the full house, but tbh I was just putting my eldest first and didnt want him to have to give his bed up he has no where else to sleep this week and how could he sleep on the sofa the smallest are in bed by 7 and his room would be out of bounds to him after that, he has no money to go out anywhere. And he has already agreed that he will give his bed up in future with notice to make arrangements for himself

What about the other poor children excited to spend 1 night with their dad and then sent home because their step mother wants her eldest to stay.

So what he has no money to go out either let him have your room to chill out in or lend him some.

why hasn't he got anywhere to stay this weekend, whats wrong with his usual home?

scaredy_cat

not read all the replies but no, i don't think you are being oversensitive. As he is living with you he should put your needs and your kids needs before hers. it hurts you that he put his ex's feelings about yours.

emweaver

scaredy_cat wrote: »

not read all the replies but no, i don't think you are being oversensitive. As he is living with you he should put your needs and your kids needs before hers. it hurts you that he put his ex's feelings about yours.

You could say as she is living with him she should put his needs first. I expect that he used his ex as an excuse but really deep down is hurt he cant have his babies for the night.

Sambucus_Nigra

emweaver wrote: »

You could say as she is living with him she should put his needs first. I expect that he used his ex as an excuse but really deep down is hurt he cant have his babies for the night.

The OP quite clearly said that she suggested they stay more often than once a month.

emweaver

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

The OP quite clearly said that she suggested they stay more often than once a month.

So she tells us but going by how childish she has been on this thread alone and refusing to answer questions I am not sure I believe that.