Am I being over sensitive ?

Person_one

flyonthewall wrote: »

I wasn't being aggressive, I was however annoyed at keep having to answer personal questions, just to have to justify myself to people. That is all .

You don't have to, none of us know you, you can just close the window and ignore us all.

azzabazza

Why do people not read what has been written. The OP's son has had to come home. This visit of children is causing a problem re sleeping arrangements. OP's OH seems to have taken the side of ex-wife and possible other arrangements for her. Not taken on board OP's feelings. OP's son has said in future he will make other arrangements. Simple. Perhaps something could have been arranged to accommodate the twins. I don't think this was the underlying issue.

Ellejmorgan

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

So you are saying that spending an unplanned night in their own beds will do what to them? Exactly? In terms of routine in the wider context?

[Tribal people do have routines, by the way. They have seasonal routines, they are not savages.]

Could you show me the post where I said they were savages ???

Ellejmorgan

flyonthewall wrote: »

Yes my ex used to see them but became violent towards me, was forcebly removed from my home by the police in front of my screaming 4 year old daughter, so is no longer allowed to see them. Is that clarification enough for you

I just wondered did you have to go through the court ordeal as well..??

shellsuit

fly, did Saturday go OK? Did the little ones stay at home and your son have his room for the evening? x

Sambucus_Nigra

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

Could you show me the post where I said they were savages ???

Could you tell me what damage exactly two very small children will face by going back to their usual beds?

SambaRamba

Fly On The Wall - Personally it looks to me as though you are doing your absolute best as a step-mother and mother. You are seam very supportive of your OH's relationship with his children, encouraging him to see them more often. The real issue here is simply his reaction when you put your original idea forward of only having 2 over to stay.

If he had responded with concern for the kids for example by suggesting ways to rearrange who sleeps where, or if he spoke of buying/borrowing a travel cot, sleeping bag etc, then you wouldn't be feeling the way you did.

His first reaction was concern for his ex. This is the issue.

Anyone can see you are trying and do care about his children, I seriously doubt you would send 2 home if you knew it would upset them, I think you'd find a way for everyone to stay. You made a suggestion and your OH didn't think about HIS children first.

So now alarm bells are ringing and you are feeling like a bit of a doormat. I think the best way to move on from all of this is to have a sit down with him and point out the fact his response has made you feel a little insecure about his feelings for his ex. Ask him why his first thoughts turned to her rather than try and help you find a solution to the dilemma. (Which in all honesty is easily solved if your son doesn't mind sleeping on the sofa for one night).

If you don't sort this out now you will only start looking at other reactions he makes where his ex is concerned until you get to the point you start believing he still loves her.

Hopefully, a long honest chat will put your mind at rest. I'm sure you will feel better if you lay your cards on the table x

Ellejmorgan

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Could you tell me what damage exactly two very small children will face by going back to their usual beds?

I asked first...

flyonthewall_2

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

I just wondered did you have to go through the court ordeal as well..??

Yes, was the correct thing to do.

flyonthewall_2

shellsuit wrote: »

fly, did Saturday go OK? Did the little ones stay at home and your son have his room for the evening? x

Thanks for asking Yes it did, and yes he did and we made alternative arrangements to make up for things