Am I being over sensitive ?

System

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

That's interesting. One bed two kids.

The bed usually sleeps kid 1
Kid 2 has another bed in another house

So which kid gets the bed?

If you are being fair, surely the best arrangement is that each kid gets their usual bed?

Which is what the OP is suggesting.

To make one sleep on the floor/sofa is not putting treating all kids equally is it? It's an impossible thing to do.

Personally, this wouldnt be a problem to me as i would have made sure beforehand each child would have had somewhere to sleep in the first place and that includes her own son. You can buy travel cots, sofa beds etc second hand these days, whilst not ideal, its not an ideal situation is it?

shellsuit

Judi wrote: »

Personally, this wouldnt be a problem to me as i would have made sure beforehand each child would have had somewhere to sleep in the first place and that includes her own son. You can buy travel cots, sofa beds etc second hand these days, whilst not ideal, its not an ideal situation is it?

OP didn't forsee her son coming home and needing his room though did she, or should she have bought all those things just incase he came home and wanted to sleep there on a night they were having her OH's children?

Like I said before, it doesn't mean Dad can't see his kids, he can, they just go home and sleep in their own beds for the night.

What's wrong with that?!

Sambucus_Nigra

Judi wrote: »

Personally, this wouldnt be a problem to me as i would have made sure beforehand each child would have had somewhere to sleep in the first place and that includes her own son. You can buy travel cots, sofa beds etc second hand these days, whilst not ideal, its not an ideal situation is it?

So what if you had no money?

And no time to buy this travel cot/sofa bed?

I am asking this because you said 'If they are all children they should be treated equally.'

So how would you resolve it if you didn't have the time or money to buy new beds? How would you treat 2 kids the same with only one bed to do it with?

Errata

How long do people think a bedroom should be kept for the occasional use of a child that's living away from home?

Sambucus_Nigra

Errata wrote: »

How long do people think a bedroom should be kept for the occasional use of a child that's living away from home?

We don't know, do we?

And it's not up to us to make that call, is it?

And this is about the OP's OH whose first concern was the ex - rather than thinking of the current situation. Which is what the OP was sounding off about.

Peanuckle

There is always a way to adapt and it's only for one night! A good number of years ago I had my 10 year old, 9 year old twins and my 3 year old step son, who was on a 2 week visit, in a small 3 bedroom house (2 room were box rooms :eek:).
My best friend's husband rang to say his wife was being rushed into hospital so could I take her 3 and their 2 cousins who were staying there whilst their parents were away for a funeral? We managed, for 2 days the kids had indoor picnics for tea, a brilliant way to use up loads of little bits of meals and make it look more than it is, and "camped" in the sitting room.

Yes it was chaos, and yes it was cramped but we managed and the older kids asked many times if we could have a camping weekend inside again. The hardest bit was coping with 3 little ones in nappies and one who was in the middle of potty training. I couldn't do it every week but for one night surely you can think of a way to make it fun whilst giving your eldest his own room to retreat into since you say he wouldn't want to be in the sitting room with your OH anyway?

shellsuit

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

Of course she knew that her kids could return at any point..
As mothers we all know once our child leaves home they could return..

My ex is 37 and gone back to his mothers..

If op isn't aware that this could happen then i'm afraid she's ill prepared..
As for only having 37p in her purse in reality who does that happen to, what if she has a crisis ??
What if something breaks, or she has to go somewhere in an emergancy...

Sorry but I think this shows money is being managed well..
Even when I was on basic JSA I never got down to 37p and I ran a car and house...

She? Her?

Where is her OH in all of that?!

She's not on her own, she's with a guy, you know, the Father to the other children, which is what this thread is all about?



Jesus Christ, I really despair of this place sometimes! :mad:

Ellejmorgan

shellsuit wrote: »

She? Her?

Where is her OH in all of that?!

She's not on her own, she's with a guy, you know, the Father to the other children, which is what this thread is all about?



Jesus Christ, I really despair of this place sometimes! :mad:

The OP has admitted that hubby isn't that bothered about the kids, that's the point...

poet123

Ellejmorgan wrote: »

The OP has admitted that hubby isn't that bothered about the kids, that's the point...

Then perhaps she should be commended for bothering at all rather than vilified for being a bad manager? Lots of women would just not bother if he didn't.

Ellejmorgan

poet123 wrote: »

Then perhaps she should be commended for bothering at all rather than vilified for being a bad manager? Lots of women would just not bother if he didn't.

I agree i'm not one of the ones that has critisized her involvement with the kids,
I do think she needs to work on her finances and think a little more outside the box though..

Personally I think hubby needs a boot up the bottom and take control of the situation...