Bottle feeding and guilt

CruisingSaver

mildred1978 wrote: »

That really isn't a good thing!!

Why not? My friend's children were always a size or so ahead of their ages as they were both really tall (like their parents).

Babies don't just grow widthways you know:cool:

CS

mildred1978

CruisingSaver wrote: »

Why not? My friend's children were always a size or so ahead of their ages as they were both really tall (like their parents).

Babies don't just grow widthways you know:cool:

CS

I do know. My son is taller than all his peers, but very slim. I had to cut all the feet off his babygros!!

A good friend has a child that was born at about 7.5lbs and then (militantly) breastfed to 14lbs by 4 months. At 1 she weighed 28lbs (my son isn't even that heavy at 2!!).

Carrying all that weight affected her mobility, her dexterity and her ability to sleep. At 27 months she still doesn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time at night (waking for milk/food) and is in age 3-4 clothing. It's as if she's been taught to ignore her appetite. Very sad. We share a HV who thought it was marvellous how well feeding was going. Now they're having all sorts of medical problems that the HV says could have been avoided.

hngrymummy

Hi OP. I haven't read all the posts I'm afraid, so I apologise if this has already been said.

I found that there was a lot of pressure to breast feed and to not struggle with it. I chose to breast feed, and even I found the pressure quite overwhelming at times. It really doesn't help a new mum to get the hang of breast feeding, and I felt terrible every time something didn't go 'right'. Breast feeding is natural, but that's not to say that it's easy. It's bloomin hard work, and really quite painful to begin with.

Do not feel pushed in to making a decision either way. It is your choice, and it's about what helps you to be the best Mum to your child. Getting stressed isn't good for either of you, and can have an impact on your milk supply and your child's feeding.

If you want to give it a bit longer, find a breast feeding supporter and get some one to one time. That helped me a lot, and it helped me to relax.

If you want to stop, then it might be good to do it gradually. Either reduce the feeds you give over a few weeks, or express a little when your breasts feel full. Doing it gradually can help prevent mastitis. I've had it 7 times in 14 months, and I can assure you, that you really want to avoid it.

Just remember that what's best for one Mum and child isn't necessarily the best for another.

SingleSue

looby75 wrote: »

you can't say that for sure. My nephew was 13lbs when he was born and was in 6-9 month clothes when he was about 4 months old and he was breastfed (how my SIL kept up with him I'll never know)

Babies grow at different speeds.

James was 8lb at birth but was so incredibly long he had to have bigger clothes to fit his legs in!

He is still a beanpole to this day.....

Sequeena

Oh God I felt like this for months after my sons birth he was a bad latcher, and then when he was 2 weeks old he was very ill with sepsis and I ended up having to formula feed him because I couldn't pump enough. By the time we got out of hospital I'd stopped producing milk. I felt so guilty, I thought I had failed at something so natural that I even tried to relactate twice (didn't work).

I've come to terms with it now and at 10 months my son is a health 23lbs 3oz and is a very happy boy. A mother's love doesn't come from her breasts so please do not feel guilty if you make the decision to stop breast feeding

mrcow

Breast is not best when it turns the mother into a nervous wreck in the process.

As time progresses, you will gain the confidence in your own decisions. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. What works for one won't work that well for another.

I mixed fed all of mine. 2 from birth. It meant that I could continue breast feeding for 8-9 months which suited me. If I hadn't bottle fed, I would have kicked the breast feeding into touch within weeks.

With my second child, the midwife criticised me for mixed feeding. Result was she was kicked out of my house with a flea in her ear and never returned.

It is NOT a midwife's job to critisise or belittle your decisions. And as for anyone else, well, it's none of their business anyway.

pinkpig08

Have you looked at the Kellymom website? I found it very helpful. There's lots of advice and a forum to ask questions and get support from other breastfeeding mums. I found it a struggle for the first few weeks, but it does get easier as your body gets used to it. Has your baby been checked for tongue tie, good latch etc? A 2 week old baby wouldn't and shouldn't only feed every 4 hours. They feed very frequently in the beginning which is their way of getting your supply up to what they need. Their stomachs are tiny and cannot hold much milk which is why they need more in a short space of time. You don't need criticism, you need information. Everyone is different and I'm not a fan of the 'well mine were all ok' line.

It does get better, and easier, but don't beat yourself up or feel pressured by anything, just do what YOU feel is right for you and your baby.

dizziblonde

Mojisola wrote: »

Can I ask what kind of food those of you who have trouble breast-feeding are eating? Your body is trying to make very rich, high calorie milk and I wonder whether diet changes could help. Do the mid-wives every suggest trying different foods?

Do any of you leak milk between feeds? Are you producing plenty of milk but baby isn't suckling right or is the milk in short supply?

The problems I had with supply were down to stress and having to exclusively pump. No other reasons there - she just simply was too premature to latch and the hospital successfully made the stay there so hellish (I'm having counselling to try to undo some of the damage they put me through) that if I'd have stayed in the extra time (possibly up to a month more) to establish her breastfeeding - I would have committed suicide from the despair that place drove me to. As for "support" - if you can count vaguely lobbing a breast in the direction of the baby's mouth and seeing if it sticks, and the constant barging into our curtain cubicle without checking if we weren't busy fumbling trying desperately to get this miniscule baby to latch on, and just generally no guidance at all of how to manage a tiny 4lb baby, with attached huge long feeding tube dangling out of her nose, very large assets and make it all work together collaboratively.

As for the size horror thing - my daughter outgrows things purely from her length (and I'm not going to have everything she wears with the feet cut out) long before her body catches up - and since she doesn't even rank on the centile charts for her chronological age, I hardly think she's some shockingly obese baby. She just simply has an incredibly tall daddy and seems to be taking after him.

Mojisola

dizziblonde wrote: »

The problems I had with supply were down to stress and having to exclusively pump. No other reasons there - she just simply was too premature to latch and the hospital successfully made the stay there so hellish (I'm having counselling to try to undo some of the damage they put me through) that if I'd have stayed in the extra time (possibly up to a month more) to establish her breastfeeding - I would have committed suicide from the despair that place drove me to.

That's appalling! I do hope you can put such awful treatment behind you.

I think I've seen research - but can't find a link to it now - that BF is much harder to establish if the birth has been difficult and, of course, if the baby is premature.

I'm horrified at the way some new mothers are being treated. Whatever is the least stressful way of feeding is best for you and baby and no-one needs to feel guilty about the method you choose.

CH27

dizziblonde wrote: »

The problems I had with supply were down to stress and having to exclusively pump. No other reasons there - she just simply was too premature to latch and the hospital successfully made the stay there so hellish (I'm having counselling to try to undo some of the damage they put me through) that if I'd have stayed in the extra time (possibly up to a month more) to establish her breastfeeding - I would have committed suicide from the despair that place drove me to. As for "support" - if you can count vaguely lobbing a breast in the direction of the baby's mouth and seeing if it sticks, and the constant barging into our curtain cubicle without checking if we weren't busy fumbling trying desperately to get this miniscule baby to latch on, and just generally no guidance at all of how to manage a tiny 4lb baby, with attached huge long feeding tube dangling out of her nose, very large assets and make it all work together collaboratively.

As for the size horror thing - my daughter outgrows things purely from her length (and I'm not going to have everything she wears with the feet cut out) long before her body catches up - and since she doesn't even rank on the centile charts for her chronological age, I hardly think she's some shockingly obese baby. She just simply has an incredibly tall daddy and seems to be taking after him.

Oh hun that is appalling.
I hope you are now happy & settled at home & are able to recover from your experiences.