Bottle feeding and guilt

Bitsy_Beans

Bottom line is happy mum = happy baby.
If you feel you can't or don't want to continue do so. FF is not the end of the world, babies thrive in it (mine certainly did) and at the end of the day what you feed your children doesn't start and end with infant milk. You have the parental guilt of jars vs home yet for weaning

mum2one

Please don't feel quitly, I tried to breastfeed my daughter for nearly a week, it didn't work, despite having a pair of boobs that would Dolly parton a match for her money, they were dry as a bone, so we had to go to bottle.

She thrived, I now have a beautiful nearly 10 yr old daughter, and her being bottle fed has made no difference to her at all. at the end of the day, happy baby, happy mummy and vice versa.

You are not a failure, you are a wonderful mum how is doing the best for her child. Theres people that go straight to the bottle at least you have tried breast feeding, youve given your son a really good start in life, and thats what you need to remember. xx

heretolearn_2

I'd encourage you to give it a little bit longer. It took probably nearly a month for me to get the hang of it! It isn't easy and I'm sorry your midwife was not helpful - a lot of them haven't done it so haven't got a clue. Is there a local breastfeeding group/support group? One of my friends used to volunteer as a breastfeeding something or other and helped a lot of mums. different positions work for different babies, for example.

But - if you've really had enough and you are tired and stressed and it's stopping you enjoying your baby, then stop. Formula is perfectly good for babies and you have no reason at all to feel guilty. You've done a great thing for your little man, he's got loads of your antibodies and he's benefited from the first few days colostrum, which is the stuff that makes a huge huge difference and is very important. so - he's doing great, you are doing great, and you'll both carry on doing great if you switch to formula.

It is your choice hon, don't guilt trip yourself. Baby won't care either way. But welcome to motherhood, it's in the job description to feel guilty about everything

CH27

A happy, healthy mum is what your baby needs.
There is nothing wrong with bottle feeding a baby & don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Good luck xx

jason1231972

I was bottlefed from day one, and turned out fine. I still prefer breasts, though :rotfl:

But seriously, there's nothing wrong with bottlefeeding, it's just not considered 'best', as such, for reasons you will be well aware.

All things being equal, you can raise a perfectly healthy and happy child on bottlefeeding.

Stick with the breastfeeding only if it's best for you (and baby, considering the practicalities), and not because of guilt-inducing pressure from the Netmums feminazi set.

saratoga

I will probably get shot down for this but........I have 6 children (ages from 10 to 16) and I have never breast fed any of them.They are amazing kids, hardly ever sick and very healthy.
I wanted my husband to share the feeding ( and everything else!) so I made the decision with our first and although extremely bullied by midwifes along the way,(so much so with the last two, I had them at home) I have never changed my mind.
Good luck and well done for at least trying,don't be bullied by anyone,put your foot down and don't feel guilty,a well fed child is going to be happier and so are you!

Kiboko

The right thing to do is whatever is right for you and your baby. I had 6 weeks of pain and agony breast feeding my eldest and then all of a sudden it was easy, the second one was a breeze, number 3 was initially fine and then at about 2 months my milk just disappeared and I had to switch to formula. Happy healthy mum and babe is all that matters and if you are stressed about it it gets worse. So do what YOU feel is right and then you can enjoy your baby.

barbiedoll

How you feed your baby is entirely your choice, it is not for anyone else to make you feel guilty or to imply that you are in any way a failure.

Breastfeeding is like many other skills, some master it much more easily than others, just the same as swimming, driving or cooking (for example) Lots and lots of women struggle and many (including myself) are surprised at just how intense those first few weeks can be.

It sometimes helps to see and to speak to other B/F mums but it can also be counter-productive if it makes you feel inadequate. And you would be surprised at just how many B/F mums do use the odd bottle of formula, simply because they need a break, their milk doesn't suddenly dry up, lots of women use both methods with great success.

There does tend to be a bit of one-upmanship where childbirth and breastfeeding are concerned, in my opinion, there are no awards or medals for suffering or martyrdom in motherhood, if you need pain relief in labour then have it, and if you want to formula feed then do it. It's no-one else's business!

And remember, you will have plenty of reasons to feel guilty later on, just wait until your child is the only one not to have the latest fashion trainers/videogame/hairdo or is not allowed to stay out late like "everyone else". You have got lifetime of guilt facing you over whether or not you spend enough time with your child, whether you feed them enough vegetables, whether you are too strict or not strict enough, etc etc etc. Don't waste time feeling guilty now, just enjoy your baby.
And I promise....it does get easier!

Humphrey10

heretolearn wrote: »

Baby won't care either way.

Don't bet on that. I was bottle fed, and I do wonder sometimes if I had been breast fed, would I still have type 1 diabetes? (various studies have shown breastfeeding reduces the incidence of diabetes (both type 1 and 2) http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/News-and-Research/Research/Diabetes/ ).
Having diabetes is really, really !!!!, and it will shorten my life by years probably. I already have reduced sensation in some of my toes, and I'm not even 30.
But I don't blame my mother at all - she couldn't breastfeed, so it wasn't like she decided to use formula milk just because it was trendy or convinent.

BTW, I would count a woman who couldn't cope mentally with breastfeeding or who found breastfeeding unpleasant or uncomfortable = 'can't breastfeed'. Just please make sure you are certain that you cannot continue, there is support available.

But, a mother who loves her child and enjoys spending time with them and bottle feeds will probably benefit her child much more than one who resents/dislikes/dreads having to spend time breastfeeding, you don't want to be doing something that makes you feel like that towards your baby.

Sorry this post is a bit long and rambling. Basically please breastfeed if you can, but if you can't (which includes can't mentally as well as can't physically) don't.

sooty&sweep

Hi

I tried really hard to breast feed both of mine and for various reasons I had to move them both over to bottle feeding. I had no choice but I still remember the terrible guilt I felt doing it as if I was a terrible mother for not giving my child the best possible food I could. My son is 11 & my daughter is 6 both are at school and are very rarely ill. My son had 100% attendance this year and my daughter missed one day. Last year they both got 100% attendance at school. So bottle feeding hasn't done them any harm.

Saying all that if I had another child I would still try to breast feed as I agree it is best if you can establish breast feeding.

I totally agree with a previous poster that the midwife / health visitor that made you feel guilty should be shot (not literally). Coping with a newborn whether bottle or breast fed is really hard and you need support not guilt trips.

Is there anyone in the breast feeding group etc that you really get on with so that you could talk it all through with properly ? So that whatever you choose to do you can make an informed decision whether it is to stay with breast only for abit longer, mix feeding to give you some rest or totally bottle fed ?

As everyone above has said a happy mum = a happy baby