Selfish husband, don't want to do this anymore :(

MandM90

LMK, maybe that will start giving you the push you need to find some happiness. At least you'll have your own finances, and can start putting a bit aside just in case you do feel you must leave (or maybe save up for a holiday for you, your mum and your kids and he can stay at home for once ). Maybe if you start getting your own life again - having a job, seeing friends, having a bit of a social life - he'll realise that not everything revolves around him and you're perfectly capable of leaving. I know you feel trapped now, but the only way to remedy that is to be strong and proactive and take control again. Find the strong woman you were when you met him.

Dunroamin

jackieb wrote: »

I'm on our mortgage and at the time we took it out I wasn't working either. Are you sure this isn't your husband making things up?

That's exactly what I thought.

OP, do you know that your lender said this or is it just what your husband told you. Most SAHPs will be on the mortgage, even if they have no independent earnings.

PolishBigSpender

I haven't read the whole thread, but my advice would be simple:
- find a job and go to work - a woman needs her very own money too!
- start having the life of your own - one Saturday tell him he has to look after the kids because YOU are going out!
- it's simply unacceptable that he left you with all the packing and went on holidays. Raise hell. If he doesn't change leave - you'll be better off without him.

mountainofdebt

OP

Well I have to admit if my OH told me we couldn't goon holiday because we had no money and then proceeded to go on holiday, not once but twice abroad, there would be an almighty argument.

I think you need,as others have said, to find out what exactly you would be entitled to if you did decide to go it alone - as they say knowledge is power.

I bet there is alot of tongue biting going on in your parents' home.....

lilmisskitkat

jackieb wrote: »

I'm on our mortgage and at the time we took it out I wasn't working either. Are you sure this isn't your husband making things up?

Husband applied for the mortgage alone as this house we live in now is in his name only, we weren't married when he bought it. He said it would complicate things putting me on it too. The solicitor said I would'nt have been allowed on it anyway as the rules have changed.

Gosh i sound such a numpty don't i? I really don't understand things very well and have just gone along with things to keep the peace

pearl123

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

He says it's a waste of money (remember we 'haven't got any money',as he says, hence no holidays etc) and that everything will go to me as his wife anyway. I wanted to get one drawn up last year with regards to the children if anything was to happen to me/both of us but he refused :(xx

He's got enough money to go away with the boys twice in one year! That I suspect amounts to quite a bit of money.

It so disgusting that he's left you and your family to deal with everything.
In an earlier post you suggested that his texts were business like whilst he's away - why is that?
OP you deserve much more! As other have suggest go to the CAB.

How old is this for want of a better word "playboy"!

MrsAtobe

OP, if you don't think you contribute anything, find out the going rate for a housekeeper/nanny in your area - that's how much you are contributing each year AND they get time off. I bet your husband wouldn't be able to afford the lads holidays if he had to pay you the going rate .

grandma247

I have just read through this thread.
What makes you think you don't work? You have kids and a home to look after.

busiscoming2

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

Husband applied for the mortgage alone as this house we live in now is in his name only, we weren't married when he bought it. He said it would complicate things putting me on it too. The solicitor said I would'nt have been allowed on it anyway as the rules have changed.

Gosh i sound such a numpty don't i? I really don't understand things very well and have just gone along with things to keep the peace

Hi OP, were you there when the Solicitor actually said this or has your husband passed this info on to you?

Your husband sounds very immature and selfish. Do you really want to carry on like this?

globetraveller

phone the mortage provider and ask if its possible to add a name to one of their mortgages.