Selfish husband, don't want to do this anymore :(

globetraveller

Also at the next friends' gathering/BBQ/Wedding whatever, lament out loud that you haven't been on holiday for years and wish you could afford one.

aliasojo

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

Husband applied for the mortgage alone as this house we live in now is in his name only, we weren't married when he bought it. He said it would complicate things putting me on it too. The solicitor said I would'nt have been allowed on it anyway as the rules have changed.

What rules?

Seems very odd to me.

OH and I are not married. I'm a SAHM. You're darned right my name is on the mortgage too.

OP you have been and are still being, played and manipulated imo. Time to stop all that now methinks.

jetplane

globetraveller wrote: »

Also at the next friends' gathering/BBQ/Wedding whatever, lament out loud that you haven't been on holiday for years and wish you could afford one.

alternatively lament out loud that you can now afford a holiday since you stopped your husband bleeding his family dry

pimento

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

He has gone away with 3 other blokes, all single/in casual relationships and no kids. I don't know where he is or what he's doing.

Really? He's on holiday and you don't know where he's gone?

Person_one

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

The house is ours, well his. They wouldn't put me on the mortgage or deeds other than as an occupier as i don't earn any money and don't contribute anything. Renting a 3 bed house round here is around £500pm so not too bad really. I used to get help with my rent when DD1 was small as i was at college part time and only worked 10 hours a week but i think the housing benefit rules have changed?

K xx

If you've been married more than two years the fact that you're not on the mortgage won't make any difference in a divorce settlement. What's his is yours and vice versa, and if you're the one looking after the children you should be the one to stay in the family home.

pimento

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

The house is ours, well his. They wouldn't put me on the mortgage or deeds other than as an occupier as i don't earn any money and don't contribute anything.

This is utter BS. My husband doesn't earn any money and doesn't contribute financially but his name is on the mortgage and the deeds.

Person_one

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

Gosh i sound such a numpty don't i? I really don't understand things very well and have just gone along with things to keep the peace

I think it would be a really good idea to spend some time reading this site to help you get a better understanding of how finances, mortgages and so on work. You will feel more confident about dealing with them on your own or about questioning his judgement if you have more knowledge.

Even reading the various parts of the forum and seeing some of the great advice given about housing, separation, child support etc. will help.

claire16c

Also your husband will have to pay child support if you leave him.

skipsmum

OP, what do your parents think about him?

DUTR

claire16c wrote: »

Also your husband will have to pay child support if you leave him.

25% net pay is a pretty good deal, it is obvious the guy has some new stuff on the go, will he be bothered if she leaves with the kids? Probably not, he is content elsewhere with somebody else

skipsmum wrote: »

OP, what do your parents think about him?

It doesn't matter what others think of him, the OP has some long hard thinking to do