In Laws issue.

flybynight

or maybe, she just doesnt like them.
just because they want to socialise, doesnt mean she does. which means if tehy want to see your littleun, you have to take her round one or 2 evenings a week. Or risk her telling them that she doesnt like them and doenst want them anywhere near her. whihc could be why she is reluctant to tell you why its bothering her.

lazer

I've taken the time to read all the responses on here, and I think most of you are being to harsh on the OP.I would be horrified if my fiance, thought my parents called round too much (children or no children). And I would also be horrified if my fiance told his parents to stop calling around so much (although they live too far away to just pop in anyway!)The OP is a new dad, and well as his wife being a new mum, and his feelings should be respected too, as he has waited 5 years for the child as well and wants to share the joy with his parents.I think where the wifes parents are has a bearing on this, if they are living locally do they call round unannounced, and are they allowed to but not his parents. I can understand that the wife is probably more comfortable around her own parents anyway, but unless the OP's parents are criticising her mothering ability or doing something else they shouldn't be (And no i don't think rapping the window is bad, as has been suggested this could be to not wake the baby) I don't really see the harm they are doing.Do you have blinds in the house, so that they cannot see in when the rap the windows, as this would give your wife time to take wahtever steps necesary before opening the door?OP - yes you should be very considereate of how your wife is feeling, perhaps say to your parents, that she needs a bit of time on her own with the baby, or just ask them to not call in much during the day, as your wife is trying to catch up on sleep when the baby is asleep, but that they are more than welcome to call in whenever you are home from work, as then it is you entertaining them.Or you could even take the baby and go and visit them a few evenings. Do either you or your wife ever visit your parents, ro do they do all the visiting?What is your own relationship with both your parents and your in-laws like?Also i love having people call round unannounced, If I'm not dressed, in bed, having a romantic moment etc, the door will be locked, otherwise, it would be open for them to knock and just walk in. I hate the notion of people phoning before they visit, its put an obligation on you to stay in a wait for them if you had other plans, and to have the house spotless, and to have tea and biscuits etc in for them. Sometimes i phone before i visit but generally just call in when i'm on my way past or something. We even go and visit my uncle who lives 2 hours away without phoning, as to me phoning is aking them to be prepared for you.I was recently on a pre marriage course, and one thing they did stress was it is important to be aware of the traditions of each others families and decide which of these traditions you want to continue on in your own family, and which you want to stop. By Tradition, they meant the major things like having big family Christmasses, birthdays, christenings etc, but they also stressed the importance of the minor things such as eating dinner around the table straight after work, keeping a spotless house or just let the house get messy and tidy up once or twice a week, how often do relatives visit etc. It is important for the OP and his wife to know what they both want, and if this differs, they need to compromise.The OP's wife doesn't want the in laws calling round, the OP does, both feelings need respected, and an ideal compromise is that they can call around in the evenings, and the OP tidies the house after work, so the wife can relax more in their presence.

fluffnutter

Sorry, the lack of paragraphs gave me eye-bleed.

Tina20

I'm a mother with a 6 month old baby. My mother in law live round the corner and I HATE it.

We have TOLD her so many times if she wants to visit just to give a little text with 10 minutes warning. THATS ALL I WANT. So I can put clothes on, clean up, put the kettle on etc. But she insists on coming round, and opening our front door and shouting 'helloooo' then walking in. I HATE IT. there are no smileys that can possibly convey how much I hate this. I HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Maybe I'm an exception, I don't know. But I HATE ANYONE coming round unannounced, and I despise them letting themselves into my home without my notice or permission.
I cannot understand anyone who is happy to have people walking in, it makes no sense to me at all. BIZARRE.

I'm a mum, I want to be a mum, have my home and my partner and baby. I don't want anyone else butting in unless it's on my terms. I'm happy and relaxed at home, I would HATE his parents coming round more than once a week or once a fortnight.

Some people are open-doorsey and some people are booby-trap-the-lawn-double-lock-the-door people.

You wife comes first completely. If she doesn't want her baby going out for the day with your parents that's totally up to her! This is her baby too! A mum needs to be allowed to make the choice.

I totally feel sorry for your wife.

fluffnutter

Lock the doors, Tina, and stuff the bad feeling it creates. Seriously, you can't continue being this angry. It's not good for you or the baby. It's your home, your rules. Get those bloody doors locked.

Tish_P

Eek! Poor Tina. Does she realise how much it upsets you? I'm guessing yes, but some people can be supremely oblivious.

I'd invest in some bolts or door chains. For security. And some headphones so you unfortunately can't hear her knocking.

Tyler_Du

Wow, wasn't expecting such a range of responses, I'm a bit taken aback to be honest. Thanks for all the (mostly) sensible replies, I'm going to get my wife to read them all so that we can get this issue sorted before things get worse.

Tish_P

Good luck Tyler! Hope you work something out that keeps everyone happy.

SqueekyMouse

Thanks for coming back Tyler, I hope you don't feel too ganged up on by the responses! All the very best to you and you family x

marshmallows

Hi Tyler you really need to sit down with your wife and talk to her about this but you must be prepared to listen to what she says because some of the things she may say you may not like (i am not saying you won't listen) my husband and i went through some difficulty due to the way his parents were treating me and it took him quite a while to see and understand it. Good luck and let us know how it goes