Real-life MMD: Should I rat on my ex?

edited 3 April 2012 at 9:29PM in MoneySaving polls
88 replies 16K views
Former_MSE_PenelopeFormer_MSE_Penelope Former Editorial AssistantFormer MSE
536 Posts
edited 3 April 2012 at 9:29PM in MoneySaving polls
Money Moral Dilemma: Should I rat on my ex?

My ex asked his mum to buy him a car so he could pick up our kids for visits. She agreed and chose the car herself to make sure it was reliable. Now he has traded in the car (worth about £3,000) for an old banger (£400) and pocketed the difference. She lives miles away so has no idea. He hasn’t offered any money to help out with the kids. His mum is a good friend of mine, should I tell her?

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  • I don't believe it can be seen as 'ratting' surely if he's swapped a reliable £3k car for an old banger the 'new' car can't be safe. Your ex's mum should/would be grateful for being told that her son's driving her precious grandchildren around in a potential death trap. Tell her - you want your kids to be safe as well don't you.
  • shop-to-dropshop-to-drop Forumite
    4.3K Posts
    Well I would!
    :j Trytryagain FLYLADY - SAYE £700 each month Premium Bonds £713 Mortgage Was £100,[email protected]/6/08 now zilch 21/4/15:beer: WTL - 52 (I'll do it 4 MUM)
  • DaftyDuckDaftyDuck Forumite
    4.6K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    She wanted her grandkids to be safe.
    You want your kids to be safe.
    Shared interest here. So long as you stick to this side, not the "ratting on ex", she should be told.
  • N.I.MN.I.M Forumite
    2.2K Posts
    If it was my daughter I'd be getting a court order to ban him putting her in the car and possibly seeking to deny access. He is PUTTING YOUR KIDS LIFE AT RISK!!!

    Tell his mum, dad, brothers, sisters, postman, friends, boss and everyone else you can think of. If he cant put his kids before his pocket he doesnt deserve to be near them.
    This was 6 months out of date so I've changed it.
  • whitewingwhitewing Forumite
    11.9K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Presumably the car has an MOT and insurance? If so, then what are you going to gain, apart from passing on a bit of misery? He's presumably used the money for something so he is not going to buy another decent car.

    Perhaps his £400 car cost him £400 but is worth more? If he knows about cars then he may be able to fix a bargain.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • anjak-janjak-j Forumite
    45 Posts
    I'd definitely tell her.
  • hbowleshbowles Forumite
    3 Posts
    Tell her, Tell her, Tell her!!!!!!!
    For starters the kids safty comes first and then he has just ripped off his own mother who was good enough to buy him a car at the drop of a hat!! :(
  • A.JonesA.Jones Forumite
    508 Posts
    I don't see what it has to do with you. If the "old banger" passed its MOT then it is safe to drive.

    Reliability is down to the car. So long as the car is safe to drive, then real road safety is down to the driver. A reliable car is not necessarily safe - it depends on the driver.
  • fairynuffairynuf Forumite
    11 Posts
    You state he hasn't offered you any money to help out with the kids. If you took a share of this money it would make you as bad as him. His mother has done a very responsible thing by buying a decent car to transport her grandchildren. It is important that she is informed of the irresponsible action which her son has taken. If she is a good friend of yours it should be easy for you to telephone her and let her know as you are concerned about her being ripped off by her son and the safety of the children being transported in an old banger by a greedy self-centred parent.
  • antonia1antonia1 Forumite
    596 Posts
    500 Posts
    I would keep well clear - she may be a good friend of yours, but meddling in mother-son relationships is done at your peril. As long as the car has an MOT then it could be as safe (or dangerous) as the previous car. A car may be old, cheap and perfectly safe.
    :A If saving money is wrong, I don't want to be right. William Shatner

    CC1 [STRIKE] £9400 [/STRIKE] £9300
    CC2 [STRIKE] £800 [/STRIKE] £750
    OD [STRIKE] £1350 [/STRIKE] £1150
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