Real-life MMD: Should I rat on my ex?

Talent

Dob him in.... was you in love once?

geordie_lass_2

What have you got to gain by telling his mother?
If the car is roadworthy and legal then it's fine for the kids to travel in, if it's not then refuse to let them travel in it, end of.

girl-in-a-hat

dobsoncrew wrote: »

As he is still not giving any money towards his kid/s, explain to your child that daddy has done something bad and they may no see him for a while.

Are you serious? What could this possibly achieve?!

gazmoore77

Wow, amazing to see the gender divide in full effect at the extremes of this dilemma!

As someone else said there are more questions raised than answers here, maybe the mother already knows? maybe the new car required repairs that he couldn't afford? maybe he needs the money for petrol?

What is clear from the responses is that you'd need to be pretty vindictive to "rat on him" to his mother - I'd suggest that if you feel a moral obligation to his mother you should raise the issue with him first to hear the other side of the story before potentially risking your friendship with the mother by stirring things up.

Above all, whatever you do please please please think first and foremost of you and your ex's children. If you indulge in petty pointscoring you might get a short term gain but in the long run your children may resent this and it could sour your relationship with them.

Always try to do the right thing for the right reason.

curriej99

It is entirely plausible that a £400 Volvo, say, with a valid MOT would be safer than a £3000 Mazda MX3, for example. Safety would therefore be no argument for grassing him up. If his mother bought the car for him as a gift, then the car is his to do with as he wishes, as it belongs to him, as presumably he is the named owner on the V5 document.
Any intervention on your part in this smacks of bitterness and revenge, and is best avoided; for as they say, blood is thicker than water.

emlu81

I totally say yes you should rat on your ex - your children are more at risk in a clapped out old banger. Safety first and all that she deserves to know that her own children are willing to "steal" from her!!

u123935

Tell him that if he doesn't tell his mum within a couple of days, you will.

shehen23

I'm quite disappointed by some of the replies here. There must be a lot of posters with 'ex issues'! The only thing that should concern the OP is this - Is the car that her children travel in safe and road legal? Anything else is absolutely none of her business. What a mother buys her son and what he chooses to do with that gift is entirely a matter for them. So what if he's gained a few quid as long as the vehicle he has swapped it for is up to the job. If not then that's a different thing altogether but unless she has taken steps to find this out then she should get on quietly with her life and let her ex get on with his and remember that one day she might be in a position where she has to sell or pass on a gift (I know I have)- how would she feel if someone told on her?

florere

I don't think you should tell his mother, she may not want to know and it could spoil your friendship, as long as the new car has an mot. there should not be a problem.

nhampson

Tell her and the only loser in the long run will be you, mothers will usually forgive sons anything (eventually). Whatever damage is caused will only end up effecting the kids. Additionally would this even be a dilemma if he had given you half the "profit"?

How do you know that she isn't aware? If she is buying cars for him she will know he is skint, perhaps the cheaper car is cheaper to run? Perhaps the government should run a scheme where older cars are tested thoroughly every year to make sure they are safe? Oh, they already do.

All I read from this dilemma is that you want to get one over on your ex. Stop being vindictive, get over it and move on.