Real-life MMD: Should I rat on my ex?

Tarasmum

I think you have a moral duty to inform your ex mother in law, she was good enough to buy him a decent car to transport her grandchildren and he has abused this by selling that car to buy an old banger - yes sometimes you can be lucky and buy a fairly decent old banger but few and far between, what has he done with the money he got from the better car? surely that MUST be returned to his Mum? Get her told NOW! it is your kids that are travelling in the old banger at the end of the day!:eek::eek::eek:

fatpiggy

A £400 car isn't necessarily dangerous - I traded in my old Yaris with 166000 miles on the clock at a local garage who were delighted to be able togive it a new life as their courtesy car. It was in perfect nick, didn't have a mark on it and was still doing 50+ to the gallon on the motorway. It was worth about £500. That was my car though. If I was the OP I'd be wanting a good look at the ex's banger and checking it visually for rust etc. An MOT does NOT mean a car is safe, just that it is sufficiently roadworthy to be out there. I have seen cars with current MOT certificates with gaping holes in the door sills, to the extent you could see the drivers feet on the pedals. I wouldn't fancy my chances in that in even a low speed crash.

JayD

I am usually one to say 'don't interfere - especially in family affairs' but when children's safety and well being is concerned, this goes out of the window.

Yes, tell her!

cheerful

The moral question here is simple: if you were in the mother's position would you want someone to tell you? I don't know anyone who would not want to know and think that they would have a right to know.

Many people have tried to justify not telling her by suggesting, "maybe this" or "maybe that". The mother could address these questions to her son and give him a chance to justify his actions. To fail to tell her is collusion with her son and denying her this opportunity.

Some people have said, "what is it to do with you?" The answer is that it is exactly the same as any other perceived or potential wrongdoing is to do with you. Either you try to correct what you see to be wrong or you don't.

We live in a society that powerfully discourages us from challenging or addressing antisocial behaviour in someone we know personally. From a very early age we learn strongly pejorative epithets (grass, rat, squealer sneak, etc) with which to label anyone who does not turn a blind eye to wrongdoing.

With all the bad things that some people do, without getting caught or stopped people ask "How do they get away with it?" Many of the responses to the OP give you the answer.

Robert2

Sounds like he deserves all that he gets, if he would rob his own mother of £3600 he deserves for her to know about it and i also think you are well shut of a rat like this

adouglasmhor

A.Jones wrote: »

And what would you do when he takes you to court for refusing to allow him to see the children? He just needs to show an MOT certificate to prove it is roadworthy.

An MOT certificate is not proof of roadworthiness.

Ebenezer_Screwj

Yes, I would definitely tell his mother what he's done.

pollypenny

Accidentally on purpose let it out.

tescobabe69

You seem to know an awful lot about other peoples business.

mungaman

Deco tell her; keep the kids safe!!