Sorry, just need a vent

thorsoak

:eek:Frankly, I think it is time that you both grow up! She's 19 - you are - how old? The mother of two little girls?

If I were your mother, I would be saying to the pair of you - sort this out, or I won't be at your wedding - I don't want to be party to a circus! It sounds as if you could be auditioning for the Jeremy Kyle show - " she shoved me....she swore in front of my 3 year old ...."

Grow up. Be the adult in this relationship ........"she's not coming to MY wedding .....":eek:

CH27

The pair of you need your heads banging together.

ruby-roo_2

neneromanova wrote: »

Can I just say DD didn't see any of the violence, just heard.

Have you any idea how terrifying it is to a young child to hear adults being out of control, aggressive and violent towards each other? Do you seriously think it is okay that your child only heard what went on and didn't see it?

I feel really sorry for your daughter. I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself and how you conduct yourself with your family in front of your children.

Is your daughter of school age? Lets hope she isn't more traumatised by this whole sorry saga than you care to estimate. If she decides to confide in a teacher about how her whole family behaved around her, then you could face some very tricky questioning by the head and senco.

If I get flamed for this opinion so be it, I think it needs saying.

neneromanova

No I didn't want my DD to see or hear what happened. And she is nearly 4 so not at school.

I did make sure my DD was ok and gave her hugs and everything. This morning she hasn't said anything about it. Normally when something traumatises her she goes on about it for days but she hasn't so it luckily didn't affect her.

It's easy for everyone to say how awful it is but I would love to see each and everyone of you in that situation with my sister after 4 years of the same treatment and see how you react to her. But I am taking everything everyone says on board so Thank you

the_cat

neneromanova wrote: »

I did make sure my DD was ok and gave her hugs and everything. This morning she hasn't said anything about it. Normally when something traumatises her she goes on about it for days but she hasn't so it luckily didn't affect her.

Just because she has not acted in the same way as she has previously, you cannot possibly know that it 'didn't affect her'

I sincerely hope you are right but that is a huge and quite frankly ridiculous assumption. Being quiet about the incident could just as easily mean she is MORE traumatised about this than other situations in the past:(

thorsoak

neneromanova wrote: »

No I didn't want my DD to see or hear what happened. And she is nearly 4 so not at school.

I did make sure my DD was ok and gave her hugs and everything. This morning she hasn't said anything about it. Normally when something traumatises her she goes on about it for days but she hasn't so it luckily didn't affect her.

It's easy for everyone to say how awful it is but I would love to see each and everyone of you in that situation with my sister after 4 years of the same treatment and see how you react to her. But I am taking everything everyone says on board so Thank you

I have three sister - there is less than 4 1/2 years between us all:eek: Believe me, I know it isn't all sweetness and light in sisterly relationships - much skin and hair flew around when we were around 8-10 years old - but you do have to grow up and start ignoring the rubbishy bits, otherwise you'll have a fractured family.

Would you really, in 20 or 30 years' time, have your daughters turn round to you and say "but we never saw Aunty X when we were growing up, did we?"

50+ years down the line we are close - we've not lived near each other since the first of us married, but we've always known who we could rely on in a crisis.

Poppy9

OP when you are not feeling so angry you need to cooly think about the situation.

Your later posts are coming over as childish in trying to justify your behaviour as you are bringing out things she did in the past., her boyfriend and his age, no wedding invite etc. it all sounds very immature on your behalf if I am totally honest.

There are obviously long standing issues and I feel for your parents. Your father wants to get away because of all of your behaviour and your mother is not helping by the way she is telling you this as you take that as blame on your younger sister and no doubt your mother has said the same to your sister and she's blaming you.

Think about it, your father felt the need to physically pull you away from your younger sister, can you imagine your OH doing that with your daughters when they are older.

I have fought physically with one of my sisters till we were 15/17 but never in front of my parents (only when house empty and we had time to wind one another up:o). We both knew we were being childish, hormonal etc. so kept it between ourselves and didn't bear grudges (only scram marks:D). You are bearing grudges, talking about her behind her back and frankly acting like a teenager not a responsible mother of two. Please take a step back and if necessary write down what you want to say to your parents/sister etc. No ranting, no snide comments though!

Caroline73_2

neneromanova wrote: »

I did make sure my DD was ok and gave her hugs and everything. This morning she hasn't said anything about it. Normally when something traumatises her she goes on about it for days but she hasn't so it luckily didn't affect her.

)

And how often does she see things that traumatise her?

Courgette

neneromanova wrote: »

No We've never fought physically, this was the first time. Well for me touching/pulling her. Her she does it all the time. Barging past purposfully knocking me, hitting me in the stomach while pregnant.

This seems to me like a lot more than your usual sibling rivalry. Seriously? Hitting someone in the stomach while pregnant? Did she know you were pregnant? As in, were you showing?

Very first thing I would be doing is not contacting sister at all for as long as it takes until you stop being angry with her, even if that takes months. Invite mum & dad round to yours to see the girls. Only once you calm down will you be able to work out what to do for the best

Courgette

Caroline73 wrote: »

And how often does she see things that traumatise her?

Yeah, I wondered that too. What other stuff is she seeing?