Sorry, just need a vent

neneromanova

marleyboy wrote: »

Were it my Sister, I would sit there with my phone filming everything she did from swearing, door slamming to aggression, occasionally reminding her that I am documenting evidence for any childcare companies that may find it entertaining viewing.

If she can act like this in front of her own nieces\nephews, heaven forbid she is left with a group of non related children.

:rotfl: that's brilliant. Unfortunately it might escilate things.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

neneromanova wrote: »

Sorry but I say nothing about that at all. She spends most of her time anyway with her useless controlling boyfriend anyway at his house.

Yes I know i shouldnt have grabbed her, but I was trying to protect my DD's from her words. I suppose mothers instinct kicked in and I wanted to fight for them. To protect them.

No, you didn't. One was asleep, one was in the other room. You went for your sister because you were angry and wanted to have a go at her. To make you feel better.

So instead of your DD hearing a bit of shouting, she got to see Mummy attacking Aunty, Aunty defending herself from a physical attack and Granddad having to drag Mummy off Aunty.


Mothers' instinct doesn't mean being violent because someone says a naughty word.

Poppy9

neneromanova wrote: »

Sorry but I say nothing about that at all. She spends most of her time anyway with her useless controlling boyfriend anyway at his house.

no but you hint at it with comments like treating her home like a hotel etc. I'm one of 4 children and I know the rants of sibling rivalary etc. It's perfectly normal to resent others when you are feeling stressed by your life.

neneromanova wrote:

Yes I know i shouldnt have grabbed her,

but you did and that escalated the whole episode. You were angry, perhaps she is angry that you come over every weekend and your children take your parents attention away from her.

neneromanova wrote:

but I was trying to protect my DD's from her words. I suppose mothers instinct kicked in and I wanted to fight for them. To protect them.

children don't need protecting from words, they are just word, words they don't know what they mean. They need protecting from violence.

POPPYOSCAR

What will you do next time it happens?

neneromanova

I'm tempted to film it next time it happens. But I'm just going to ignore her again. I think mum might be chucking her out anyway after this. She's been wanting to but never had enough reason to.

marleyboy

Poppy9 wrote: »

children don't need protecting from words, they are just word, words they don't know what they mean.

I have seen parents called into a Nursery for their children coming out with such words in front of the other children.

Imagine a parent trying to justify it with that kind of comment.

*Louise*

marleyboy wrote: »

Were it my Sister, I would sit there with my phone filming everything she did from swearing, door slamming to aggression, occasionally reminding her that I am documenting evidence for any childcare companies that may find it entertaining viewing.

If she can act like this in front of her own nieces\nephews, heaven forbid she is left with a group of non related children.

This is what I would do as well - she hardly sounds like an ideal candidate for a childcare career.

If it escalates the situation, well, at least you will have it on record.... she can either stop swearing or make things worse when she realises she is being filmed - her choice.

I can sympathise, my youngest sister is just as spoiled and moody, she currently has kicked off at all three of her siblings, and of course nothing is her fault and the whole world is against her *rolls eyes*. I would blame it on teenage anger but she is 23 now and about to have her second child.

You shoudl never lay a hand on her though, no matter whether it is 'just' to grab her and get her attention, that gives her the excuse 'well you started it' and you need to remain the better person.

Good luck, sounds like you need to stay away from them all for a bit and invite your mum to yours- she will move out eventually. I would still take pics of the bruising though, just in case anythign was to happen again.

marywooyeah

Sorry opbut I think you escalated the situation by grabbing her and pointing your finger in her face. That's a really degrading thing to do and can alsoconstitute assault in itself as can your sisters actions. Turn it the other way, if she had grabbed you and pointed her fingers at you how would you react? If I were you I'd leave it a couple of weeks for things to calm down before discussing it together.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

marleyboy wrote: »

I have seen parents called into a Nursery for their children coming out with such words in front of the other children.

Imagine a parent trying to justify it with that kind of comment.

Can you imagine the questions if the LO grabs someone to spin them round and shout at them for saying a rude word in nursery?

And Mum says 'I was protecting her'?

Poppy9

marleyboy wrote: »

I have seen parents called into a Nursery for their children coming out with such words.

Imagine a parent trying to justify it with that kind of comment.

Well obviously parents should be made aware if their child is repeatedly using such language but trained childcare workers should be able to deal with the situation and and explain to them why it's not acceptable and parents should reinforce the message.

The OP is ranting about her children being exposed to bad language and she deals with it by using violence by grabbing her sister and getting in her face. That IMO is more serious as you are showing your children that you deal with things you don't like by being agressive and also it completely escalated the situation.

My mother used to recount how my brother swore, badly, as my father's employees thought it funny to teach him. My mother tried the usual punishments that you can impose on a toddler, which in those days included a smack but he continued. One of his grannies told my mother to completely ignore his language as he was attention seeking, so she ignored it and he stopped swearing.

From the OP's post I read there is a lot of anger in her parents home, from both her and her sister. This is damaging to young children and they ALL need to address the underlying issues causing the anger.