Another 'am I being fair' question.....

Loanranger

When I was a kid, me and my brother shared the Good Boy dog chocs equally. But, each one was flicked up in the air and whoever caught it in their mouth ate it.

ska_lover

It is not abnormal, or crime of the century for a kid to nick a pack of sweets/choc bar out of a cupboard

ska_lover

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

food should be split equally

thats how we work in my house

say if OH is getting a bag of nuts, i will get a bag of crisps

or if i get 4 pasta meals, he will get 4 pasta meals etc

What if the other one doesnt WANT a bag of crisps though? or Four pasta meals? Do you have to cram them down so he hasnt had one up on you?

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

Nicki wrote: »

I remember this poster. She's started lots of threads like this in the past about her family's really dysfunctional relationship with food.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2932510=

is the one I remembered but there are a few more too.

Thank you I thought it sounded familiar ish

We have just had a mini family discussion about this. I contribute and my son contributes to the household but his wife doesn't as she doesn't work or earn any money at all.

My sons wife cooks for all of us quite allot and I consider this contributing the same as putting money in, she will also do the housework or washing if its needed .

There is no way I would expect her to pay for something out of the cupboard just because she doesn't contribute financially.

What ever is our cupboards is for ALL of us regardless, you help yourself when ever you wish, but not everyone lives by the same idea.

If we buy an item for a particular meal dessert baking etc we do tell each other don't eat it because..... and no one will eat it, so we are respectful of 'special' things

surfboard2

It is interesting to hear of other peoples attitudes towards food.

In my house, it has never crossed anyone's mind that everything has to be shared equally. It has never been an issue, and never will be. If the food is there, it's there and open to anyone. When it has gone, it has gone.

pelirocco

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

agreed



why should either me or my OH get more than the other, we both pay equal for it so should get equal

Because it can be pretty petty to make sure you all get exactly the same .

I have 2 sons at home , one will eat all the eggs , and any meat in the fridge and the other would eat all the crisps ( if i bought any ) and has a nasty habit of eating the choc chips i buy for baking ! Its annoying , but I get over it .

gingin_2

simply_tash wrote: »

It is interesting to hear of other peoples attitudes towards food.

.

I guess it depends on the age. Mine are 8 and 12 and have never been allowed to help themselves, I am sure that will change when they get older but chocolate and crisps are treat food and if we have them they tend to be eaten at the same time, so shared - like during a movie, I'd also rather pay more for 4 of something naughty than buying a bargain box of 30 because I don't think it sends out the right message. If mine are hungry youngest tends to have breadsticks and hummus, or grapes, eldest doesn't really snack.

That said I did go on approved food after this thread and stocked up on a few bits ( peri peri sauce and J20's) so it's been a good advert for them!

Raksha I hope you are ok. I remember some of your old posts now and I thought you and OH were splitting up. I hope you find strength whatever you do.

pelirocco

shazmg wrote: »

Sounds like bad parenting and bad habits got out of control. My kids are allowed one snack after school and one snack in the evening, one of which has to be a piece of fruit. Charging your own child for food is shocking IMO.

How do you get to the conclusion its bad parenting? I don;y know how old your kids are , but I bet you are going to be in for a shock when they get older;)

euronorris

rachbc wrote: »

People are really bothered about it all being totally equal? I can understand if you have kids ensuring its 'fair' between them but I had no idea adults counted out bags of crisps/ bars of chocolate. We clearly have an issue-OH just came home with 3 creme eggs.....

We don't really count them out here, we just try to be considerate of the other person, IYSWIM. So neither of us will go and eat them all. But equally, he will always have a bigger share of chocolate (as that's his favourite), and I'll have more of the crisps (as they're my favourite), and neither of us complains to the other about it.

Yes, sometimes the chocolate is all gone before I get a look in, but a) I do the same with the crisps sometimes and b) I'm just not that bothered about the chocolate (and same for him with the crisps).

I can only imagine that some people act very selfishly with treats, in order for there to be a need to count out each treat.

fluffnutter

Nicki wrote: »

I remember this poster. She's started lots of threads like this in the past about her family's really dysfunctional relationship with food.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2932510=

is the one I remembered but there are a few more too.

Wow, I've read the post that Nicki's linking to and just wanted to draw attention to a couple of things...

I've told them if they are hungry, they can help themselves to toast and whatever, but it's always the 'luxury/high value' things that go walkies.

Er, well yes. That's human nature isn't it? Who'd have toast (particularly a kid) if you could just grab some scoobies instead?

OH has now threatened to remove their internet access for a year if it happens again.

Oh come on! A year?! Talk about an over-reaction.

You're right, Nicki. Some very unhealthy attitudes towards food and sharing in that household..