Another 'am I being fair' question.....

Any

euronorris wrote: »

I still don't think it's a big deal. There are 3, very simple, solutions to this problem and I can not fathom why the OP doesn't just enforce one of them. It's not exactly an issue that requires input from others.

I completely agree with you Euro. If you read the OP, the thread was about that - that is what her husband suggested - apportioning and that was what her question was! Is this reasonable?
It was other people who made it into "refusing child food" or something.

As I said - I don't know about that £1 charging, she didn't disclose any details. We also don't know whether he had any before. The way I see it is, that he already had his share, he also had his pocket money from which normally children buy extra sweets and lazy to go to shops..
If he just went to sweet shop like any other kid and not stroke a deal with his mother instead none of this would now need to be discussed!

And I am very surprised to hear from you, experienced MSE poster that something "doesn't need discussion"... seriously? What else are these forums for? We all come in and discuss and find other people's points of view!!

Any

bestpud wrote: »

There is so many factors involved when bringing up children that it's impossible to say there is a right and wrong way to deal with sweets.

What works for one family will become a nightmare for another.

Oh absolutely. While I was never really bothered about chocolate, my brother was obsessed and no matter what my ma did in the end she just didn't buy any and gave us money instead.

My HUSBAND (grown up man) will eat crisps as long as they are there.

Some kids will not "steal" chocolate for worry the hell will break loose. Some kids will not be able to control themselves or will have higher sense of adventure (the treat is worth the sacrifice - my brother was like that).

I know one kid who was not allowed any sweets what so ever and once someone brought bag of marshmellows to a BBQ and this child went wild and stole it and run off with it and bit his own fater when caught!! It was like he was possesed. I've never seen anything like it.

While Mimi's child doesn't go anywhere near sweets... everyone to their own.

Rebecca01

My friends Dad used to charge her and ber brothers for sweets and crisps that he kept in a locked room. At 15 ,myself and another friend,stared with an open jaw as she bought some sweets from him later,we both discussed instantly how we were thankful we had the parents we have.

Maybe Op has her reasons. I dont know.

19lottie82

Any wrote: »

I know one kid who was not allowed any sweets what so ever and once someone brought bag of marshmellows to a BBQ and this child went wild and stole it and run off with it and bit his own fater when caught!! It was like he was possesed. I've never seen anything like it.

Is it wrong that this made me LOL? :rotfl:

euronorris

Any wrote: »

And I am very surprised to hear from you, experienced MSE poster that something "doesn't need discussion"... seriously? What else are these forums for? We all come in and discuss and find other people's points of view!!

Discussion - yes. But with the family. Give options, all decide on most suitable, enforce and move on.

Requires input from outside - no. If someone needs input from others over something so trivial, then there are much bigger problems within the relationship IMO. (ie, the argument was not about flakes, it was just an excuse for one or both of them, to have a dig at the other).

pelirocco

Nicki wrote: »

I remember this poster. She's started lots of threads like this in the past about her family's really dysfunctional relationship with food.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2932510=

is the one I remembered but there are a few more too.

To be fair ,I think she was right in the thread you linked , to be annoyed if one of her sons nicked all the treats

sassyblue

pelirocco wrote: »

To be fair ,I think she was right in the thread you linked , to be annoyed if one of her sons nicked all the treats

I didn't think she was right. If l had the choice between macadamia nuts, dried cranberries or toast l'd take the nuts and fruit!

Sounds like the hubby is jealous/annoyed that his two teenage children are eating them out of house and home (show me a teenager that doesn't) and to stop it he's trying to charge them or stop internet access for a year. :rotfl:

Sorry OP but you need to kick your OH into touch, poor kids is all l can say, l bet they dread feeling hungry knowing whatever they want to eat is going to cause arguments. If you don't all get a grip the kids will have eating/food issues.

xbrenx

I have one son who will eat/drink anything he finds. The other, eldest, son likes to bide his time and look forward to having something nice.

Because of this we ended up putting our names on cans of coke, because if there's one there, youngest won't care if he's had the previous 10, he'll still have the last one. We did it as a fun thing though - commenting on it being like a shared house and there was no bad feeling. It works, we all only drink our own and when yours are gone, they're gone.

Generally with other treats, it's first come first served but I do try to encourage sharing.

Nicki

sassyblue wrote: »

Sorry OP but you need to kick your OH into touch, poor kids is all l can say, l bet they dread feeling hungry knowing whatever they want to eat is going to cause arguments. If you don't all get a grip the kids will have eating/food issues.

From recollection, and I can't be bothered to look but I have read a lot of these threads started by this OP, OP and at least one if not both of her children are in the morbidly obese category, and one if not both children have been stealing food outside the home, and hoarding it, and exhibiting other signs of extreme emotional distress. So that horse bolted some time ago sadly. There have been dozens of these threads, each time OP has been offered advice and strategies to deal with things, and each thread starts with an almost identical scenario, suggesting none of the strategies or advice are listened to and nothing changes.

shazmg

Sounds like bad parenting and bad habits got out of control. My kids are allowed one snack after school and one snack in the evening, one of which has to be a piece of fruit. Charging your own child for food is shocking IMO.