Another 'am I being fair' question.....

Any

Nicki wrote: »

I remember this poster. She's started lots of threads like this in the past about her family's really dysfunctional relationship with food.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2932510=

is the one I remembered but there are a few more too.

Oh well, most of the families I know are completely dysfunctional then, because I did not yet meet a kid who will not eat chocolate given the opportunity.
This means that in most households sweets are hidden from kids and not in easy reach, to have too much is not very good for kids (or adults to be honest) and no matter what some of the posters here say (ooooh no, just let your kids eat what they want!!! you are weird ooh, you are cheap oooh, you are mean oooh - I seriously doubt they let their children snack on chocolate bars all day).

The payment part I think is weird, but we were not explained that. For all we know he spent his pocket money as he couldn't be bothered to go to shop. Not a big deal.
I completely agree that chocolate luxury items should not be "I'll be there first so I eat it all because I can" which often happens with kids/teenagers/boys. And I know many families where it is difficult to make sure the kids adjust their behavour accordingly as they grow up - it's completely one of those "how to bring up children" correctly issues.

I remember when I was little my brother would try to eat/steal all the biscuits in the house and my mother was going mental because my siblings and I had rarely had the oportunity to eat some as they were always gone.

Any

bestpud wrote: »

I can kind of understand the sharing out part as I do a similar thing with crisps and choc bars sometimes. I do it to make sure everyone that wants/needs one for a packed lunch has enough to last the week. After that it's a free for all!

My OH will always share things out equally though - it comes from being in a big family and constantly feeling disappointed because someone else pinched all the best bits.

I don't think it's particularly healthy for children to always have food divided like this as they don't learn about sharing and moderation.

I really don't really understand why you need to charge your son 50p per flake - that seems harsh, but I'm guessing you have your reasons.

OMG, thanks, I am glad I am not the only one who sees difference between rationing "food" and "treats" high calorie expensive items that you should eat only limited amount of and how it affects other members of family if one gets "greedy".

onlyroz

My kids are only little and so they are not allowed to help themselves to treats - therefore we can make sure that they are apportioned equally. However, when they are older I expect they will be given more of a free reign. I can only see this as a problem if one person was pigging out. Maybe if your OH thinks he's not getting his fair share then he should take out his 6 when they're first bought and then hide them somewhere...

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Our household must be in a minority then - Our sweetie drawer is within in reach of our 4 year old and she wont go in there without asking if she can have anything first - and no, she isnt shoved full of sugar etc all day

Gra76

If the OP didn't have so many posts I'd have the 'troll alarm' going off loudly in my head....but as this isn't the case....

OP wanted to know if she was being unreasonable? The answer isn't that clear cut. I think both you and your hubby are unreasonable! Letting your kids BUY food from you! I've heard it all now! Unbelievable...

bestpud

Any wrote: »

OMG, thanks, I am glad I am not the only one who sees difference between rationing "food" and "treats" high calorie expensive items that you should eat only limited amount of and how it affects other members of family if one gets "greedy".

There is so many factors involved when bringing up children that it's impossible to say there is a right and wrong way to deal with sweets.

What works for one family will become a nightmare for another.

SandC

We were never allowed to have any of the 'treat' foods in the house without asking first. Certainly weren't allowed to just eat whatever was available and 'when it's gone it's gone'. My brother was a crisp fiend so he knew his rations on them - the biscuits, choc and crisps were on a request basis.

I don't think even with the above rules I would ever charge a child for anything though, nearly grown up or not!

shegirl

Flippen Nora!!!!Imagine charging your own kid for food you'd bought for the household!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

picnmix

I am going to instigate this regime into our home as of tonight, I shall be quids in x

euronorris

Any wrote: »

Oh well, most of the families I know are completely dysfunctional then, because I did not yet meet a kid who will not eat chocolate given the opportunity.
This means that in most households sweets are hidden from kids and not in easy reach, to have too much is not very good for kids (or adults to be honest) and no matter what some of the posters here say (ooooh no, just let your kids eat what they want!!! you are weird ooh, you are cheap oooh, you are mean oooh - I seriously doubt they let their children snack on chocolate bars all day).

Most kids will reach for the treats, given half the chance. But there are easy solutions to this: don't buy treats, keep them hidden (only giving them out as special treats every now and then), or give each person their share when they are first bought.

I'm not sure why the OP doesn't enforce one of those options?

The payment part I think is weird, but we were not explained that. For all we know he spent his pocket money as he couldn't be bothered to go to shop. Not a big deal.

I still don't see why he had to pay though. Surely, having 2 of them would not be seen as more than his fair share.

I completely agree that chocolate luxury items should not be "I'll be there first so I eat it all because I can" which often happens with kids/teenagers/boys. And I know many families where it is difficult to make sure the kids adjust their behavour accordingly as they grow up - it's completely one of those "how to bring up children" correctly issues.

I remember when I was little my brother would try to eat/steal all the biscuits in the house and my mother was going mental because my siblings and I had rarely had the oportunity to eat some as they were always gone.

I still don't think it's a big deal. There are 3, very simple, solutions to this problem and I can not fathom why the OP doesn't just enforce one of them. It's not exactly an issue that requires input from others.