Seating etiquette in cars

Gloomendoom

On a family holiday to the Algarve in 1970, whole villages would come out and stare in wonderment when word got round that my mother was driving the car. Apparently, women just didn't drive cars.

geekgirl

'Shotgun' rules in our house as well. But now it is mostly me and OH in our cars, our kids now have cars themselves. I drive my car so OH sits in front passenger seat, when we go in his van I go in front passenger seat.

If my mum or his mum travel with us they get front passenger seat as they are elderly and there is more leg room for them in the front seat as they have arthritis and don't have to bend their knees as much.

If I am in my car and we are picking up our mates on the way, my OH will say to my mate to go in front passenger seat next to me driving.

I know that in your case this isn't really about the front seat for you it is about feeling he is disrespecting you. Make a fuss and take what you rightly think is yours. It will make him look silly if he is demanding his friend has to sit next to him.

MrsE_2

travelgran wrote: »

Here's a view I read once some years ago. 2 couples sharing car:
Working class, both men sit in the front, wives in the back.
Middle class, each man sits with own wife.
Upper class, each man sits with the other's wife!
No comment!!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

TBH It never bothered me (would ikf it was a long journey:)).

DD often used to jump in the front & make me sit in the back.

geekgirl

Gloomendoom wrote: »

On a family holiday to the Algarve in 1970, whole villages would come out and stare in wonderment when word got round that my mother was driving the car. Apparently, women just didn't drive cars.

I still get this reaction now when people see me driving and towing our caravan. Many women I know say they would be too scared to tow.

claire16c

musictomyears wrote: »

Humphrey - no I don't think he cares. In fact he'd hate me spending 'our' money on driving lessons.

As for me selling the car - the log book is in his name. I gave him the cash to buy it.

I don't mind if he wanted to talk to his friend, but it was a lift to town, and his friend was walking & just asked if he could drop him off too.

I have had a provisional licence for 11 years, had a few lessons, but could never afford it again. At the time I was a single mum, and my salary never allowed me to pay for 'luxuries'.

I did save when my son was a bit older, but then never got around to it, for various reasons (rubbish excuse I know).

I didn't mind so much with his son (who's an adult). I recognised that he may appreciate being next to his dad, and I sat with our DD, in the back. It was the lack of appreciation, the fact that he'd have been upset if I hadn't offered iyswim. I like his son, but the expectation, rather than "that was a nice/considerate" thing to do, is what upsets me. I feel taken for granted.

The stupid thing is his son went to get in the back, and that courtesy meant a lot. With his friend it's just the expectation that I don't matter that irks me. Yes, there are other things that make me feel this too.

So what if he wouldnt like it? go out and organise the lessons yourself. It doesnt make sense if he is always complaining about giving you lifts. Learn to drive and shut him up.

Also, if you do ever leave him one day because he treats you like this, you will find that being able to drive will be very helpful.

daska

claire16c wrote: »

So what if he wouldnt like it? go out and organise the lessons yourself. It doesnt make sense if he is always complaining about giving you lifts. Learn to drive and shut him up.

Also, if you do ever leave him one day because he treats you like this, you will find that being able to drive will be very helpful.

This is the guy who removed her internet access because he didn't want to talk about things and didn't want her to either... no doubt he'd try hard to find a way to prevent it if he didn't want her to do it.

victory

daska wrote: »

This is the guy who removed her internet access because he didn't want to talk about things and didn't want her to either... no doubt he'd try hard to find a way to prevent it if he didn't want her to do it.

I thought I recognised something........

anguk

daska wrote: »

This is the guy who removed her internet access because he didn't want to talk about things and didn't want her to either... no doubt he'd try hard to find a way to prevent it if he didn't want her to do it.

That explains some things then. It seems to me that he's a chauvinistic control freak who thinks as he's "the man", his word is law. I think he will put any other male before his wife because women just aren't equal to him.

As for moaning about giving his wife a lift, I'd be furious if my husband did that, I don't drive but my husband will take me wherever I want whenever I want. If he ever complained about being a taxi driver I would complain about being a cook, cleaner and laundress and I'd refuse to do any of those jobs for him. I can be childish too.

I'm sorry OP but you're not in a marriage of equals, I don't think your husband will ever change and I don't think you will ever be truly happy with him.

What is his father like, is he quite chauvinistic?

Savvy_Sue

musictomyears wrote: »

The ones that get me though, are his friends. He offered a lift to a friend (male) when we were going out, and told his friend to get in the front. I was upset with him when alone, and asked why - after all it wasn't the leg issue, as this guy is way shorter than me! DH said it's manners to offer the male the chance to ride with another male.

Are they gay?

There are no rules about this. I drive more than DH, because I get sick in the back, sometimes. I offer front seat to anyone older or less mobile than DH, although he'd usually have done that before me. If it was an older couple, I'd usually expect the lady to sit in the front, as it's easier to get in and out of the front seat gracefully (even in a car with rear passenger doors). And if DH was driving, I'd still invite a lady to sit in the front and I'd go in the back for a short trip.

But with my parents, Dad used to go in the front towards the end because he was marginally less mobile, and MIL usually goes in the back because she's small and always gives FIL priority.

When I get lifts with my walking group, husband and wife usually go in the front, together. If we're singletons, tall people go in the front, unless it's a narrow car we're trying to get 3 in the back of, in which case it may be suggested that all passengers would be more comfortable if I was in the front. But obviously we're all reasonably mobile.

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

I've got a three door car and it's a right kerfuffle getting in and out the back!

:rotfl: Someone hired a Fiat 500, and I had to get in the back. That wasn't so bad, but :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I nearly FELL out horizontally!

duchy wrote: »

although I couldn't imagine wanting to be with a man who thought that it was acceptable for me to get the bus when he could pick me up with very little trouble-whether I'd paid for the car or not !!

Indeed, I sometimes OFFER to get the bus to save DH going out of his way to pick me up (we share a car), but only when it's straightforward! If it's not, we juggle things. For example, we belong to different gyms: I can get to and from mine on the bus very easily every day except Sunday. If I want to go on a Sunday, and he wants to go to his, he drops me off and picks me up. That means we have to go at a particular time because the pool is not free before 5 and the gym shuts at 8. It's just what we do!

But really, wouldn't it be simpler if you learned to drive? Whose car would it be then, eh?

Savvy_Sue

Just_Plain_Jane wrote: »

I first realised there was this sort of hierarchy with car seating when I lived opposite a railway station. You'd be surprised how many women parked up to meet their partner off the train and slid over to the passenger side so the man could drive home!

We do the reverse, if DH comes to pick me up he slides over. But then he hates driving, and I hate being driven!!!