Seating etiquette in cars

thegirlintheattic

It's not a system, it's just your OH. I always sit in the front, unless parent's are visiting/driving then I sit in the back. Doesn't matter if we give lifts to males or females, my OH car so I sit in the front. My OH always sits in the front in my car too.

Humphrey10

Who sat in the front when I drove, in order of 'priority':
- non irritating people
- map reader
- person who find it hard to physically get in the back
- tall people
- wide people

Sex, age, sexuality, religion, gender, relationships, number of children, eye colour, hair colour, wealth (well unless there were bribes involved), none of that needs to be taken into account.

OP is your OH irritated at the fact he has to drive you, rather than you using the car? Are you able to learn to drive? It can be irritating giving lifts to people who can't be bothered to learn to drive, knowing you have spent lots of time and £1000s on driving lessons.

He does sound like he's just being a sexist jerk though.

the_cat

I don't think it matters where anyone in the car sits tbh. In our house it changes depending on who it is, length of journey etc etc

The point is that he is making it into a way of putting you down and 'in your place' so to speak
He can only do that if you rollover and accept your fate. Time for a few serious words.

Btw at best his contribution in terms of running costs can be viewed as 'rent' for the car. If you went to Avis, you would pay the running costs, it wouldn't mean you owned the car.

musictomyears

Humphrey - no I don't think he cares. In fact he'd hate me spending 'our' money on driving lessons.

As for me selling the car - the log book is in his name. I gave him the cash to buy it.

I don't mind if he wanted to talk to his friend, but it was a lift to town, and his friend was walking & just asked if he could drop him off too.

I have had a provisional licence for 11 years, had a few lessons, but could never afford it again. At the time I was a single mum, and my salary never allowed me to pay for 'luxuries'.

I did save when my son was a bit older, but then never got around to it, for various reasons (rubbish excuse I know).

I didn't mind so much with his son (who's an adult). I recognised that he may appreciate being next to his dad, and I sat with our DD, in the back. It was the lack of appreciation, the fact that he'd have been upset if I hadn't offered iyswim. I like his son, but the expectation, rather than "that was a nice/considerate" thing to do, is what upsets me. I feel taken for granted.

The stupid thing is his son went to get in the back, and that courtesy meant a lot. With his friend it's just the expectation that I don't matter that irks me. Yes, there are other things that make me feel this too.

Seanymph

Just_Plain_Jane wrote: »

If my OH ever accused me of using him as a taxi service, I would tell him in no uncertain terms where to shove his taxi and his services. I have a very childish streak and would probably refuse to get in the car with him at all after that.

Off topic (sorry OP) but OH made the mistake of telling me 'my first wife ALWAYS made my sandwiches for lunch every day - when she went on holiday once she froze them for the week'.

I'm so childish in 5.5 years I've made them twice

He no longer compares us.

balletshoes

musictomyears wrote: »

Humphrey - no I don't think he cares. In fact he'd hate me spending 'our' money on driving lessons.

As for me selling the car - the log book is in his name. I gave him the cash to buy it.

I don't mind if he wanted to talk to his friend, but it was a lift to town, and his friend was walking & just asked if he could drop him off too.

I have had a provisional licence for 11 years, had a few lessons, but could never afford it again. At the time I was a single mum, and my salary never allowed me to pay for 'luxuries'.

I did save when my son was a bit older, but then never got around to it, for various reasons (rubbish excuse I know).

I didn't mind so much with his son (who's an adult). I recognised that he may appreciate being next to his dad, and I sat with our DD, in the back. It was the lack of appreciation, the fact that he'd have been upset if I hadn't offered iyswim. I like his son, but the expectation, rather than "that was a nice/considerate" thing to do, is what upsets me. I feel taken for granted.

The stupid thing is his son went to get in the back, and that courtesy meant a lot. With his friend
it's just the expectation that I don't matter that irks me. Yes, there are other things that make me feel this too.

and so knowing this, what exactly are you going to do about it? your OH, it appears from what you post in various threads, pretty much constantly shows by his actions towards you that your feelings are never high on his list of priorities.

balletshoes

Seanymph wrote: »

Off topic (sorry OP) but OH made the mistake of telling me 'my first wife ALWAYS made my sandwiches for lunch every day - when she went on holiday once she froze them for the week'.

I'm so childish in 5.5 years I've made them twice

He no longer compares us.

:rotfl::rotfl: I would react in exactly the same way :rotfl:.

daska

balletshoes wrote: »

and so knowing this, what exactly are you going to do about it? your OH, it appears from what you post in various threads, pretty much constantly shows by his actions towards you that your feelings are never high on his list of priorities.

Thanks for the reminder balletshoes, I knew I recognised the OP's username.

OP, your husband is a controlling, abusive !!!!!!. It's time to leave.

Gloomendoom

My wife paid for my car. She rarely drives it. I paid for her car and she usually drives it.

The only seating etiquette I know of in cars is that the people with the longest legs get to sit in the front if they want.

OP I'd insist on driving lessons if you can afford it. It will open up a whole new world to you.

Mojisola

Just_Plain_Jane wrote: »

I first realised there was this sort of hierarchy with car seating when I lived opposite a railway station. You'd be surprised how many women parked up to meet their partner off the train and slid over to the passenger side so the man could drive home!

One year we were visiting a beach where you could drive the car onto the sands. We were sitting by two couples. When we were ready to leave and were packing the stuff and children in the car, I was round the driver's side. They started discussing us and when I got in the driver's seat and started the car, they decided my OH must have been banned from driving. There couldn't possibly be any other reason why the wife should drive, could there?