My Dad 'tricked' me into giving him £5,000 & now can't afford to pay me it back

Garry_Anderson

MyLastFiver wrote: »

Have you read the thread? He spent it on a new driveway.

£100 per month for 50 months, enforced by a court if the old twister doesn't cough up.

This is what is so galling - it wasn't as though it was needed to keep the family together - a flipping driveway for heavens sake.

Also he could have offered to pay something every month.

LovelyLeeds

...and so most people have hung drawn and quartered the OP's father. OP - how about showing your dad this thread, and giving him the right of reply? It could be cathartic it could be mayhem - but at least everyone could have the benefit of a balanced story.

Amara

I've read a thread and just want to say how appauled I am by your father's behaviour, OP. I don't think you'll get your money back, as it doesn't look he has an intention to pay you back. But you are not a bad daughter, as some people suggest!

Garry_Anderson

LovelyLeeds wrote: »

...and so most people have hung drawn and quartered the OP's father. OP - how about showing your dad this thread, and giving him the right of reply? It could be cathartic it could be mayhem - but at least everyone could have the benefit of a balanced story.

Yes - I'm certain the dad feels hard done by - and that he is the victim in all this - the money just fell into his bank account and was gone before he knew it

Tixy

Dad has behaved very badly without a doubt, and its a very unfair situation that OP has ended up in.

What isn't clear is how Dad feels about it now - is he sorry? is he ashamed?

Its also possible that when he originally took the money that he was in a reasonable financial situation and decided it was financially better for both of them if heoffset the money against his mortgage and that daughter would earn a higher rate of interest (that he saved on the mortgage) than she would have got in an ISA, especially as you couldn't put £5k into a cash ISA at that point.
That may have been his original intention but he failed to keep proper track of the money and keep that amount seperate and safe and unspent, along with the interest it should have earned.

Of course he may always have intended to spend it and not give it back.

I'm not making excuses for father at all, but I think with regards to whether there is a relationship left with Dad might depend on whether he admits he was wrong and is sorry, or whether he is simply saying to daughter its tough and there is no money for you to have.

If its the former then hopefully daughter can go for the method some have suggested, try to keep a relationship with him and hope that they can agree that when his finances improve he'll start to make repayments to her.

chesky369

Tixy wrote: »

What isn't clear is how Dad feels about it now - is he sorry? is he ashamed?

Well, to me it sounds as though Dad is a manipulative b

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d and is perfectly capable of making out that he's EXTREMELY sorry and ashamed, but that's how things are.

That's why I asked if there are any other relatives around who could weigh in on the OP's side and make him step up to his responsibilities here.

MyLastFiver

Tixy wrote: »

and hope that they can agree that when his finances improve he'll start to make repayments to her.

Well yes, OK, but I feel the OP is going to need a more robust repayment plan than that.

Tixy

chesky369 wrote: »

Well, to me it sounds as though Dad is a manipulative b

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d and is perfectly capable of making out that he's EXTREMELY sorry and ashamed, but that's how things are.

MyLastFiver wrote: »

Well yes, OK, but I feel the OP is going to need a more robust repayment plan than that.

If he is genuinely sorry - then she could ask him to sign an agreement now that states he owes her £5k (or £6k with interest) and maybe include that he will repay it installments of x starting in x months time. Formally witnessed by others of course.

It would mean that she could at least stand a chance of taking him to court in the future (assuming he doesn't go bankrupt), and would show her that he does genuinely intend to repay when he can.

Of course even with that paperwork if he doesn't pay, getting the CCJ isn't the hard part but actually enforcing the debt is the tough bit - but she'd have nothing to lose by getting him to sign it, and potentially something to gain.

kaylz39

chesky369 wrote: »

Aren't there any uncles, aunts or grandparents around?

I still see my Dad's side of the family from time to time, but they're all completely unaware of the problems he's gotten himself into. I think the only person who could talk some sense into him is my Grandma/his Mum but at her age I really don't want to burden her with it all. I know for a fact she would think so much more less of him, if she knew the type of things he's done to hurt me and my sister.

As for my Mum's side when my Mum passed 10 years ago and my Dad moved us away, they decided not to keep in contact with us. I tried for about 4 years i.e. sending b.day & xmas cards but stopped after receiving nothing in return.

kaylz39

Chrissiew wrote: »

The post that made me lol was the one with the use of the words paltry £5000! I have never had that amount of money all at once in my life, and to me thats much much more that a paltry sum and only those with loads of dosh would regard it as such.

I know! It seriously got me thinking, am I overreacting- people are saying its not alot of money but to me it is. It's almost 5% of a deposit on a decent house in our area!