Single Dad Getting Back In The Black

MyLastFiver · 18 July 2016 at 8:47PM

Hi all,

I've found MSE very supportive in the past and I need some of that to help me with my long-term debt-free plan.

Some info:

I'm a 40 year-old man earning £38,000 per year.

I've been (amicably) separated from my wife for 27 months now and will be divorcing her in the new year.

I live with a new partner and we have my two kids (aged 8 and 4) over three times per week. I pay my partner a fixed monthly amount for my share of the bills. I do not contribute to the mortgage, and in the event we separate, I'll "walk away" and make no claim on her house. This arrangement suits us both.

I'll write more about it in the future, but I expect that the financial settlement upon divorce will mean I'll have to pay off the mortgage on the marital home that my wife lives in.

I currently pay Child Maintenance and half my STBEW's mortgage.

I realise that I'm more comfortable than many, but I've racked up some unsecured debts and, if I'm to be able to help my kids out with their uni fees/house deposits, and still be able to retire early, and own a property of my own in the future, then I'm going to have to ditch the debt.

My debts:

Credit card 1: £5189 (interest rate 0%)
Credit card 2: £500* (gets paid off in full)
Overdraft: £4000 (interest rate 20%) +£6 p/m charge
Car loan: £7140 (interest rate 16.5%) term remaining: 58mths
Family loan 1: £2200 (interest rate 0%)
Family loan 2: £671 (interest rate 0%)
STBEW's mortgage: £63000**

*to nearest £100 - online banking currently not available!
** to nearest £1000 - waiting for statement

Total unsecured debt as at 18th July 2016: £19700
Total debt inc mortgage: £82700

It's actually made me a bit queasy working all of that out. Still, the sooner I start paying it down, the sooner I'll be free of it.

Have a good evening everybody!

beanielou · 18 July 2016 at 10:04PM

Happy shiny new diary

Keep posting!

Poor_Single_lady · 18 July 2016 at 10:13PM

Hello and welcome. Hope you find this useful and helpful. It has been both for me. And nice to see a few men getting involved recently as well. Glad you weren't put off by lack of male diaries. Looking forward to reading. And good luck.

MyLastFiver · 18 July 2016 at 10:15PM

Hi both and thanks for your messages.

I did notice it's mainly women on the DFW forums. I wonder if it's because women are better with money, or because they're more prepared to share their problems and seek advice!

Either way, I'm not proud!

Huskyrunner · 18 July 2016 at 11:53PM

Good luck my last fiver

I am in a similar position too you my lads 13 now but i went through divorce/house sales sorting debts 10 years back.

Good luck with diary, how did you sort out maintaineance etc csa? private arrangement etc?

MyLastFiver · 19 July 2016 at 12:10AM

Hi Husky,

When we separated we used the gov.uk child maintenance calculator. I pay my ex that figure, plus half of the mortgage.

The thing to be decided when we divorce is what to do about the only two assets, which are my defined-benefits pension, and the house. Neither of us can afford to buy the other out so it might work out that she gets the house and I keep the pension. It's not ideal for me because there's 14 years to run on the mortgage, but if I can pay my unsecured debts off I should be able to pay the mortgage off sooner.

Thanks for the support and good luck to you too

Floxxie · 19 July 2016 at 12:35AM

You are very generous paying child maintenance and half the mortgage! For the house, there are plenty of options that don't require one person to buy out the other. A great site to use is wikivorce which is free to use and has lots of legal (and non-legal but experienced) people that will give you an idea of a fair division.

Huskyrunner · 19 July 2016 at 1:40AM

no bother at all just my five penneth was i was hoping you were not over paying as you are in debt and potentially losing out re the house :-(

MyLastFiver · 19 July 2016 at 7:46AM

Floxxie wrote: »

You are very generous paying child maintenance and half the mortgage! For the house, there are plenty of options that don't require one person to buy out the other. A great site to use is wikivorce which is free to use and has lots of legal (and non-legal but experienced) people that will give you an idea of a fair division.

Thanks for that - I'll have a look at Wikivorce.

I don't feel like I'm being over generous - my wife gave up her job when we had kids. When we separated she couldn't have managed the bills on her own so it was worth it to ensure her and the kids had stability and security.

MyLastFiver · 19 July 2016 at 1:30PM

Right, well, grabbed a few bits for my holiday in the Next sale and we're off to Turkey tonight. :cool:

Yeah yeah I know

, but it was booked months ago and we won't be spending much while we're there. It's half board so most food is taken care of, we don't drink a lot, we don't need our house filling with any more souvenir tat, and swimming in the sea is free :-)

Micro-moan: As well as the child maintenance and half the mortgage, I pay for my kids' coats, shoes, school trips, haircuts, and buy them clothes as and when they need them. I gave my STBEW some money for haircuts over a month ago and she still hasn't taken them to the barber's! She doesn't have a job and the barber's is 200 yards from her house. Our youngest looks like a scarecrow. I reminded her this morning, so we'll see. :mad:

12_month_challenge · 19 July 2016 at 2:26PM

MyLastFiver wrote: »

I did notice it's mainly women on the DFW forums. I wonder if it's because women are better with money

Not if I am anything to go by :rotfl:

Good luck on your debt free journey and keep posting.

Have a great holiday. What part of Turkey are you going?
I have been twice and love it there

Single Dad Getting Back In The Black

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