My Dad 'tricked' me into giving him £5,000 & now can't afford to pay me it back

PROLIANT

Money is gone, your old man is on his @r$e, don't kick him around when he is down - I am sure your upset however from what you have stated I am not so sure he had an alteria motive from the onset, sounds to me like you need to be a bit more understanding and offer your support as his daughter, things may turn around in the future, he may get you the money back....or maybe not?
Either way, work together on this one.

Good luck.

Bangton

Another thread from MSE that makes me doubt whether I want to continue being on here after some of the downright unfair comments to the OP.

What father would assume that deceitfully taking £5,000 from his daughter's inheritance would not result in problems with the relationship further down the line? And yet some responses on MSE suggest you should be a 'loving daughter' and write the money off because your poor poor father has got himself in debt and is getting a divorce??! What happened to loving dad who should of invested the money as he said he would?

We all mistakes and I am fully aware of that but I'd have much more respect for your dad if he admitted his mistake and offered to pay it back slowly instead of wracking up a load more debt. That's what I call selfish...not the OP who is now understandably furious and upset.

Personally I think most things are forgivable but only when someone shows genuine remorse and an attempt to rectify/learn from what they have done. It seems like he isn't that bothered and for that reason I think I'd have no choice but to write it off and distance myself from him for a while

Chrissiew

The post that made me lol was the one with the use of the words paltry £5000! I have never had that amount of money all at once in my life, and to me thats much much more that a paltry sum and only those with loads of dosh would regard it as such.

I agree with most on here, her Dad stole that money, he told her he was going to invest it but did no such thing, he spent it on himself getting a new driveway, you trust your parents, you dont imagine they would lie to take your money, and worst of all tell you they are going to invest it to make more money for you. She needs the money now, wants to buy a house, get married, start a family, some may believe its a small sum of money, wont get you very far, but its certainly a good start and its a lot to lose.

If a Parent had come on here saying their son/daughter had done the exact same thing they would be told to take the no good kid to court, make him/her feel ashamed for stealing off his/her parents, whats the difference?

POPPYOSCAR

OP I think you have every right to feel the way you do.

Whilst I have every sympathy for those who get into debt through unfortunate circumstances, I have no sympathy for those that get into debt spending money they do not have on things that are unnecessary, even if they are family.

You trusted your father to invest that money for you and to use it for his own means is disgraceful IMO.

I would tell him that he must start paying it back, even if it is only a few pounds a week. That is the morally correct thing to do.

Saturnalia

I can't believe what I'm reading here, that so many of you are blaming the OP for ruining the father-daughter relationship. That was entirely the father's doing when he chose to steal from his own blood!

VikkiiKawaii

I also can't believe the amount of people on this thread suggesting the OP should write off £5000 that was stolen from her by her FATHER.

spidystrider

I am surprised at some on the responses you've received here. I think your dad has been pretty disgraceful. He took your money and sounds like he never had any intention of opening an ISA for you, using it for himself instead.

I personally don't think you will ever see your cash again, but hope you can forgive him for what he has done.

POPPYOSCAR

spidystrider wrote: »

I am surprised at some on the responses you've received here. I think your dad has been pretty disgraceful. He took your money and sounds like he never had any intention of opening an ISA for you, using it for himself instead.

I personally don't think you will ever see your cash again, but hope you can forgive him for what he has done.

I personally, would not be able to forgive such a betrayal of trust unless he made at least some attempt to start paying it back.

pineapple

kaylz39 wrote: »

The second reason is people don't charge their children for bringing them up, when they decide to have kids they know they have the responsibilities including the financial side to look after that child till they're at least 18.

You didn't meet my mother then...

pineapple

VikkiiKawaii wrote: »

I also can't believe the amount of people on this thread suggesting the OP should write off £5000 that was stolen from her by her FATHER.

I'm afraid in the real world the OP is going to have to suck it up unless prepared to get the police involved.
Getting an incremental pay back as suggested is probably the best option in this case. Or are there any favours which can be done as payment in kind or items which can be given?
No one doubts it was wrong. But I can say unequivocally that my parents did a lot worse to me (I'm sure there are many others in the same boat). I spent much of my life simmering with resentment. Things improved in later years but now they are both dead and it's me who feels the guilt. Plus I can't believe it but I miss my Dad. Parents have human failings - they aren't perfect and sometimes fall a long way from that. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to get past whatever they did or didn't do.