My Dad 'tricked' me into giving him £5,000 & now can't afford to pay me it back

CHR15

Vikipollard wrote: »

Well Chris, aside from the fact that it's absolutely nothing to do with you, seeking help to address overwhelming debt is hardly not seeking to pay; moreover it shows responsibility.

And none of my debt was to any family member.

I dispute your comments. It IS my business as you are advertising it with pride in your signature.

It does NOT show responsibility either, just a means of narrowly avoiding bankruptcy.
Responsible would be to not borrow money and avoid abiding by that contractual agreement you signed.

Glennn

I too think some of the responses are very harsh on the OP. If this hadn't been a Father but a friend I am sure we would of seen different responses. What difference does it make that this person is related? Only difference I can see is the OP trusted the Dad who has gone on to totally break the relationship. And for those saying she didn't earn it.... so what? Her Mother did and I doubt she wished for half of it to go to her ex partner.

How is the relationship now though? Do you forgive him? If so I would write it off and move on. If you want the money though I try setting up a monthly payment for whatever he can easily afford.

I would like to think I could forgive my parents if this happened to me... But at the same time I know they would never do this...

dzug1

I would think you could get a charge placed against his property - OK it won't get you the money now but he won't be able to sell the place without repayment.

How you as an individual go about that I'm not sure though.

Vikipollard

CHR15 wrote: »

I dispute your comments. It IS my business as you are advertising it with pride in your signature.

It does NOT show responsibility either, just a means of narrowly avoiding bankruptcy.
Responsible would be to not borrow money and avoid abiding by that contractual agreement you signed.

Given that you do not know the circumstances which led to the debt ~ or indeed that there was ever any intention not to pay ~ you are wrong to post such vitriolic spite. I could have chosen bankruptcy, but didnt as this way more is paid back.

People post signatures to motivate themselves. I could have chosen to put a figure which diminished each month as an alternative, but rather faced up to it being what it is. It's not pride, so you are wrong about that too.

I hope that moral, nasty, spiteful high ground is a nice place to be Chris.

mrcow

dzug1 wrote: »

I would think you could get a charge placed against his property - OK it won't get you the money now but he won't be able to sell the place without repayment.

How you as an individual go about that I'm not sure though.

The OP has no proof that the money wasn't a gift.

The chances of sucessfully undertaking any court action and getting to the point where a charge is placed on the property are slim to none.

chesky369

You said that your sister is younger than you - what happened to her money?

SailorSam

Could you go to see a solicitor or at least someone like the CAB and ask them do they think your Dad has committed a fraud.
Legal definition of fraud is ......
"Dishonest abuse of a position of authority or trust either through actions or omission, for personal gain or to another".
Could it be said your Dad was in a position of trust ? And did he try and gain by not investing the money he took from you ?

I'm not a solicitor or lawyer, i don't know. I've just had a quick look at a few sites on the Internet and wondered if that sort of thing would apply to you. Perhaps others will know better than i.

Venusflytrap

pearl123 wrote: »

OP - By your responses to peoples replies you don't sound like you've got alot of humanity.

Do you really want to kick a parent down when they are in trouble financially? !

Such sentimental babble does rile me!

Dad decided to consummate marriage by having a child - a natural but selfish act in itself, but that's another debate - and knew full well that he (they) would be responsible for raising and providing for that child.

At what point is it logical or acceptable for a parent to in essence defraud a child of their birthright and expect no to be held accountable?

I say ballshyte! OP, in the 'nicest' way possible, stand your ground and get your father (who is also an adult!) to commit to a repayment plan that he can afford (after he's fully kitted up his new g/f of course) and get what is YOURS back!

No parent should be "thanked" or patted on the back for looking after a child that had no say in its existence, neither should they be sentimentally defended when they are irresponsible. Parenting is a commitment up till a certain age (in my opinion, 18 years of age) so let's quit the mushy defence of this seemingly immature and manipulative man.

Glennn

Venusflytrap wrote: »

Such sentimental babble does rile me!

Dad decided to consummate marriage by having a child - a natural but selfish act in itself, but that's another debate - and knew full well that he (they) would be responsible for raising and providing for that child.

At what point is it logical or acceptable for a parent to in essence defraud a child of their birthright and expect no to be held accountable?

I say ballshyte! OP, in the 'nicest' way possible, stand your ground and get your father (who is also an adult!) to commit to a repayment plan that he can afford (after he's fully kitted up his new g/f of course) and get what is YOURS back!

No parent should be "thanked" or patted on the back for looking after a child that had no say in it's existence, neither should they be sentimentally defended when they are irresponsible. Parenting is a commitment up till a certain age (in my opinion, 18 years of age) so let's quit the mushy defence of this seemingly immature and manipulative man.

This is exactly what I think! I just couldn't get it down in the same way :T

Miggie

This money was stolen.

Dad made a decision not to put the money into an ISA. He decided to tell the OP that he had - ie he decided to lie.
Dad made the decision to spend the money on a luxury for himself and his wife
Dad decided to lie about where the money was and its availability.

there were several occassions when Dad could have decided to do the right thing and didn't.

I see no reason for the OP not to be furious, hurt and let down.

I have even less of Dad as he still seems to be able to spend on his girlfriend, but not repay his daughter.

And 5000 is a hell of a lot of money to write off - being compassionate has little to do with that.