My Dad 'tricked' me into giving him £5,000 & now can't afford to pay me it back

wallpaperman

Apples2 wrote: »

I would give my Parents my last £5k at the drop of a hat.
I can't see how, but I'm guessing your dad still looks at you with pride in his eyes.

Still - Take him to small claims court.


Drag him into court, go for CCJ and subsequent bailiff action. He might not have a home after the divorce and already be bankrupt trying to repay £20k of debt but he is BOUND to have some kind of coat or shoes you can take from him.

Totally out of order response. Dad didn't use the money to put food on the table, pay for essentials, he used if to subsidise a lifestyle he clearly couldn't afford.

He should have ring fenced the money from the outset, but it sadly sounds like he intended to use it for other things from the outset (though perhaps pay it back if times were good). I'm sure the OP feels bad about bringing this up, but if it was my dad I would think less of him, much less to be honest.

pearl123

OP - By your responses to peoples replies you don't sound like you've got alot of humanity.

Do you really want to kick a parent down when they are in trouble financially? !

LovelyLeeds

kaylz39 wrote: »

When I was 15 my Mum passed away leaving her estate to me and my younger sister.

Thing is, if you'd saved the money and given the money to your dad to invest I would have every sympathy for you, but this money was gifted to you from your mother's estate, so you didn't earn it.
Forgive your dad the 'debt' - it's gone and from what you say, he doesn't have the means to pay you back, so why continue to pursue it?
The nicest thing you can do as a human being, and as a caring daughter to your dad, is to say, 'don't worry dad, the money's gone, and that is that let's move on from it'.

kaylz39

Apples2 wrote: »

I would give my Parents my last £5k at the drop of a hat.
I can't see how, but I'm guessing your dad still looks at you with pride in his eyes.

Still - Take him to small claims court.
https://www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/web/mcol/welcome

Drag him into court, go for CCJ and subsequent bailiff action. He might not have a home after the divorce and already be bankrupt trying to repay £20k of debt but he is BOUND to have some kind of coat or shoes you can take from him.

I'm sorry but I think this a bit harsh, can you not see why I would be angry that I was tricked out of £5,000 by my own Dad?

If my Dad had been in trouble and was honest and said to me I need money for ........... I would have given it him, as at 18 I didn't need £5,000 but he lied to me, telling me he was investing it and spent it on something completely unnecessary!

I'm not saying I want to go down the route of taking him to court etc, I was hoping someone may have had a similar experience and could advise how they got around it.

kaylz39

mancitychick wrote: »

How can you sympathise with the Dad. He took half the inheritance his child had received from their mum and lied about what he was going to do with it and then spent it.

I have no sympathy for him.

OP, at best I would aim for a repayment plan with your Dad, you could go legal. This would incur costs and it is his word against yours I think him paying the money back over time.

I personally don't think the OP should write the money off, and the Dad (and possible the Sept Mum) should repay the money.

Thank you, I was beginning to think I was the worst daughter ever. I think I will speak to him about starting to repay a little each month when he can afford it.

kaylz39

wallpaperman wrote: »

Totally out of order response. Dad didn't use the money to put food on the table, pay for essentials, he used if to subsidise a lifestyle he clearly couldn't afford.

He should have ring fenced the money from the outset, but it sadly sounds like he intended to use it for other things from the outset (though perhaps pay it back if times were good). I'm sure the OP feels bad about bringing this up, but if it was my dad I would think less of him, much less to be honest.

Thank you for your reply, was starting to think I was looking at this completely in the wrong.

Like I mentioned earlier if he was in trouble and was honest and asked for the money with a valid reason, I wouldn't have thought twice about giving it to him but he lied to me and it actually really upset me.

I'm just going to have to speak to him about repaying when he can afford it, maybe a little each month.

dealer_wins

You can be angry, or forget about it and move on. But if your Dad hasnt got any money both options will result in you not getting £5000 off your Dad.

[Deleted User]

OP the money is gone...spent..vamoosed,if you live to be a 100 you wont get it back

pearl123

LovelyLeeds wrote: »

Thing is, if you'd saved the money and given the money to your dad to invest I would have every sympathy for you, but this money was gifted to you from your mother's estate, so you didn't earn it.
Forgive your dad the 'debt' - it's gone and from what you say, he doesn't have the means to pay you back, so why continue to pursue it?
The nicest thing you can do as a human being, and as a caring daughter to your dad, is to say, 'don't worry dad, the money's gone, and that is that let's move on from it'.

I couldn't agree more. This would be the compassionate thing to do.
I do suspect OP is rather young, as I really think it would be less likely that someone who is more mature would try and claw back money under such a sitution.

AHAR

Some rather harsh responses here but I wouldn't pay alot [sic] of attention to someone who tells you to just right [sic] off the money.