My Dad 'tricked' me into giving him £5,000 & now can't afford to pay me it back

curlygirl1971

Can't believe some of the replies on here! Best of luck OP, your Dad shouldnt have lied to you, however It doesn't sound like he has any intention of paying you back. Thank god you are better at managing your money - as dissappointing as it is, you will recover from this situation. Sounds like your dad just goes from one mess to another.

Poosmate

Curlygirl you took the words right off my keyboard! I can't believe some of these coments either.

How anyone can believe that its ok for a father to lie to his daughter, deceive her and steal her money has got to be pretty warped! As to the money being "not earnt because it was an inherittance" I find quite insulting. I'm sure the OP would much rather still have her mother than £10k in her pocket!

All you who are tut tutting at the OP should actually read her posts and stop being so judgemental. She is the innocent victim in all of this. Think about how you yourselves would feel if you gave your kid a sum of money and it ended up being used by your ex partner on non essential stuff.

Think about it.

Poo

bluesgirlvicki

Sorry just couldn't not reply to this. Regardless of the OPs age, how the money was earned/received, how much it is and what kind of a position her 'Dad' is in how on Earth can all you people be so blind? Her Dad STOLE her money, as a young woman, who did not know anything about managing money, told her he would not only sort it out for her but try and get her a better deal with his work then spent the money and is supposedly too broke to pay her off yet can take out a loan to spend on yet another woman. How can you all not see it is the OPs Dad who is to blame and as above regardless of any of the circumstances that was HER money NOT her Dads he LIED to her and now cannot even make up for what he did and doesn't even seem to feel any remorse whatsoever. What kind of a Dad does that to his OWN DAUGHTER?!

To the OP I guess there's not much you can do with regards to getting the money back unless you can convince your Dad to repay in installments or take him to small claims court. (And before any of these other madmen/women ask how you could do that to you own Dad, think how could he have done this to his own Daughter - would you let a stranger take £5,000 off you and not pay it back? How do you think this girl feels that it was her own father who lied and cheated her out of HER money regardless of where it came from). I wish you the best of luck and really hope you ignore all the ridiculous comments, you are the innocent party who has been treated very badly by someone who you are supposed to be able to trust. I've known parents who take advantage of their children and their money with no guilt or gratitude and I'm sorry to hear yet another case.

I hope you get the outcome you wish as you deserve it for being so careful with all your other money. As most 18 year olds would have blown 5k on booze and holidays and you tried to do the sensible thing. I'm sorry you have lost out due to someone else's mistakes.

I know this was an essay but I feel it needed to be said enough for these ridiculous posters siding with the thief of a 'Father'.

And just to add for those who say about kicking him when he's down, he managed to do up his house yet conveniently doesn't have the money when it's not for something he wants.

CHR15

Nice to see family values alive and strong on MSE.

Sounds like dad is already under 20k of debt, with the best will in the World the return of OP's five grand simply is not possible.
There are so many replies which will only have one result, the 5k MIGHT be repaid (but very unlikely) and this Family will never speak again.

It's almost upsetting to see so many people act like the beying crowd trying to drive a huge wedge right into the heart of what little is left of this family.

No matter what family do, they are still your family.
Maybe look at it another way op, you might want a kidney or some bone marrow off the thieving scumbag one day.

As for the rest of you who see nothing more than 5k and a thief, I hope you don't experience difficult family moments, you only get one family in this world.

pauletruth

you have a number of choices.
1 the police he obtained money by deception. you mention he works for a bank,
2 county court but if he has no money a bit pointless.
3 make a repayment plan and make him pay you the intrest that it wiould have earned.
4forget it and move on. its upto you if you want to remain close to your dad.
nobody can tell you what is the best thing to do. however whatever you do please take some time to think about it rationally and not being angry.

Vikipollard

Wow, what a pious set of responses about how the OP is such a bad person for not simply writing off her inheritance from her mother (who her Dad left when she was small) to him to squander on things for himself.

OP, you are the victim here, and have every right to be disappointed in how someone you should have been able to trust has stolen from you. You are right, if he'd been honest about it at the outset, or even when you spoke to him when you were 23(?) when he said it was there for you, you could have sought redress. But he didnt.

I dont think you'll ever see your money, though by all means try to get him to pay a small amount each month. If he has any sense of decency, he should honour that even if it means tightening his belt. I wouldnt put yourself through the heartache of small claims court, as I doubt you'd get more, and if you still want a relationship with your Dad, you may find it even more strained.

To those who sit pompously saying 'I'd give my last £xxx to my [insert family member] at the drop of a hat', well I'm sure we all would. Except that we'd know what we were giving it to them for, not that they said it was to invest it for us, but lied and actually spent it on themselves.

OP, the very best of luck to you for the future.

mrcow

How much was the deposit on the wedding venue and the dress?

I think you could be overestimating how much your £5k would have been worth in the current climate.

Vikipollard

Well Chris, aside from the fact that it's absolutely nothing to do with you, seeking help to address overwhelming debt is hardly not seeking to pay; moreover it shows responsibility.

And none of my debt was to any family member.

aliasojo

Having the same blood running through your veins does not give automatic rights in this world. If anything you would expect more from family, not less.

The Father lied from the outset and has made no attempt to repay the money back over the years that followed. The title 'Father' does not bestow some sort of immunity from wrong doing.

OP the reality is, if he still has £20k worth of debt, you haven't got a hope of getting your money back. Especially if the debt is accruing interest. He's obviously going to need to deal with that first, which means you are talking years before he can deal with your £5k.

I know we all look at family differently, but if it were me and the very person who was supposed to love and look out for me had broken my trust that badly, I'd be hard pushed to forgive him.

I'd write it off in your mind and not expect to see it again. But I wouldn't tell him that tbh. I don't see why he should think he's home free and not have to pay it back.

Also, as mrcow says, the value of your £5k may not be what you think it should be. How much was the dress and the deposit for the venue? If that was a sizeable amount then you may not be due as much as £5k back.

Badger_Lady

I agree that what Dad did was wrong - he has made a mistake, clearly not the only one he's made financially. So now he owes £25k - 80% of that is to various organisations with the remaining 20% owed to his daughter.

The question is what to do about it? Well, I don't think you can take priority over those organisations. The 80% has to be paid before the 20%. So there's a long wait ahead. Don't 'write off' the debt, but don't turn the pressure on and demand to be repaid either. And don't expect to continue accruing any great rate of interest in this climate.

Be patient with your father, manage without it (as it sounds like you will be able to), and maybe in future he will come good again. Whatever you do, don't let it destroy the relationship you have with your own family.