My Dad 'tricked' me into giving him £5,000 & now can't afford to pay me it back

Garry_Anderson

Apples2 wrote: »

I would give my Parents my last £5k at the drop of a hat.

Big difference - the beggar stole it - shows the care he had for his daughter "looking into her eyes".

RadoJo

Just wanted to add my voice to those who think that some of the earlier responses were harsh - there is a HUGE difference between lending or giving money to a family member in need and having a parent lie to you to get their hands on money left as an inheritance by their mother. 'Kicking someone while they're down' works both ways, and I think that stealing from an 18 year old who has lost their mother is much worse than asking for some kind of effort to repay money that was misappropriated.
OP - whilst it may not be easy to accept what your dad has done, I do think that for your own peace of mind you should ask your father to at least agree to a repayment plan. If he won't, then you know that he's not interested in making things right with you, but if he does then a least you'll feel as though he may wish to make amends for his past actions.

MyLastFiver

I can't believe I'm reading some of the responses on here.

As a child, the OP trusted her father to "look after" some of her money. Money her dead mother willed to her. He lied, and spent the money himself.

And now, the OP is being accused of selfishness, inhumanity and immaturity? Some of you lot need to take a good look at yourselves.

OP, this man sounds like he hasn't been a very good dad. Is your dad sorry that he lied to you and spent your money? Or does he try to pretend he's the victim?

geoffky

just let sleeping dogs lie....... your dad has spent it and i doubt you will ever see it again...move on

January20

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

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I personally, would not be able to forgive such a betrayal of trust unless he made at least some attempt to start paying it back.

I wouldn't be able to forgive him either. It's not the money, it's the lie, the deceit and the selfishness that the father has shown. Reading between the lines of #53 tough, it doesn't sound like he is a great dad anyway! I want to say I can't believe a father would do this to his child, but when money is concerned nothing surprises me anymore.

MyLastFiver

kaylz39 wrote: »

You're right and I don't want to destroy what bizarre relationship I have with my Dad. After my Mum passed away my Dad moved us 200 miles away from 'home' so my sister and dad are the only family I have around me. This has been the reason why I've wrote off so many of the hurtful and sometimes inexcusable things he's done over the years.

But to be honest I'm reaching the end of my tether with it all now. The whole point of us moving home is because I want to start my own family and I feel like my Dad in many ways is preventing me from doing that.

Can I suggest that the reason you have tolerated your dad's appalling behaviour over the years is because of your fear of being left alone?

Garry_Anderson

geoffky wrote: »

just let sleeping dogs lie....... your dad has spent it and i doubt you will ever see it again...move on

Only those that would do such themselves would say this - or have done such a bad thing.

As the father why exactly wouldn't you want to make things right and repay the money you took - I would feel so terrible if I took it.

You do understand what happened - that this was serious breach of trust.

AuntyJean

Kaylz,

You are still young and when you have a little bit extra to everyone else you want to help others. You thought you could trust someone and you have found that they have betrayed you.

You are very lucky to be in the position you are in now, compared to most people your age. I'm afraid my advice is forget it. It's really hard I know but you have little or no chance of getting that money back.

I loaned money to my very best friend when she was in dire straights and I also loaned money to a boyfriend who is now living in New Zealand with a large house, power boat....... neither paid me back. I loaned money to others to (smaller amounts). If I had back everything I had lent people I would not have a large mortgage at the age of 56.

Please let this be a lesson in life. Do not trust anyone unless you love them that much that if they never paid you back it would not matter. Forget it and move on and keep well away from your dad who may start asking YOU for money. Ignore all the sob stories! He may be your dad but if he has betrayed you he cannot be trusted.

My blessings to you for a long and happy life.

LovelyLeeds

My nan bequeathed her grandfather clock to me, but my dad still displays it proudly in his living room denying any knowledge - despite it being in writing and probate etc granted. This was 10 years ago - to keep the peace - I say nothing.
Surely there are thousands of situations where family have withheld heirlooms, money etc., - it's (sadly) a part of human nature, so you have to determine whether it's worth breaking up your family over or sometimes, being the bigger person and moving on.

(Ironically the clock was recently valued at £5,000! hey ho...)

WhiteHorse

kaylz39 wrote: »

I asked about my money and he basically admitted that they didn't put it into an ISA. At the time they switched to a one account mortgage and put it into that, which they actually used to pave their driveway.

They stole it, pure and simple.