Has anyone ever married and kept it secret?

meritaten

my Aunts best friend got married in secret - didnt tell anyone (including parents) until they came back from honeymoon. No-one can understand why..........they were both in their forties, for both it was a first marraige and both were normally very sane, staid people. and everyone thought they were made for each other anyway! Wierd!

Winky,_The_House_Elf

Someone I knew invited all the family and friends over for a big BBQ, hinting that there was something they wanted to announce and they really wanted them there, and to bring some food & a bottle or 2.

Everyone thought they were going to announce they had got engaged. Nope, they'd got married that morning, with their children in tow and this was the celebration!

One of the best wedding parties ever, sun was shining, everyone chilled out and relaxed. Lots of great food and drink.

One of her Aunties got the hump because she "didn't do bbq's" so hadn't turned up, but if anything it vindicated their choice as they never saw her usually from one year end to the next, but she would have turned up if it was £50 per head 3 course meal!

busiscoming2

My brother and his girlfriend had lived together for years, they got married while on holiday in Australia. They sent announcements to everyone the day they left the UK and invited friends and family to a reception that was to be held once they were back.

That was about ten years ago and I still don't know why they did it that way but no one was particularly upset by it. I think it is lovely.

Spirit_2

As a student a girl on my course came back from the summer holiday married to her arab muslim boyfriend.

At that time it was not sensible to tell his family, so they did'nt. I met her again some years later still married having had a long introduction and traditional wedding back with her husbands famly she was now 'accepted'.

onlyroz

melanzana wrote: »

I think your auntie made the right decision.

She probably was aware of the fact that your father did not like her much anyway.

So why should she invite him, or inform him?

Are you trying to inflame things by any chance?

I have never met the woman and have no idea whether she is even alive or not. All of this happened in around 1972, before I was even a glint in my daddy's eye. By all accounts my parents went on holiday for a few weeks and when they got back my dad called his sister to see how things were. Her daughter answered the phone and said "sorry, mum can't come to the phone because she's on her honeymoon".

DoreenMaureen

There really is no need to feel pressurised by social norms to even get married. If you are that way inclined then it's your life, your decision therefore why on earth should you "have" to hold an expensive public event, inviting people that you hardly speak too?

Most people that I've known to get married have had the least amount of people needed present, no one is religious so maybe that's a reason for such dismissal of these Wedding shows?

To the OP, it's your life, it's your commitment. If you don't want anyone involved in your wedding then there is no need to question this or feel guilty.

Gloomendoom

DoreenMaureen wrote: »

Most people that I've known to get married have had the least amount of people needed present, no one is religious so maybe that's a reason for such dismissal of these Wedding shows?

You don't need to be remotely religious to want one of "these Wedding shows". You only have look at the massive rise in popularity of extravagant secular wedding venues to see that.

jm2926

We posted the invites to the reception on our way to the airport to get married in Vegas. It was fantastic.

barbarawright

busiscoming2 wrote: »

My brother and his girlfriend had lived together for years, they got married while on holiday in Australia. They sent announcements to everyone the day they left the UK and invited friends and family to a reception that was to be held once they were back.

That was about ten years ago and I still don't know why they did it that way but no one was particularly upset by it. I think it is lovely.

I didn't go to either of my brothers' weddings - one was abroad in a country where it would have been very inappropriate for him to live with his girlfriend so it was easiest for them to marry there, and the other just had a registry office wedding with only the mothers there (OK, and their kids !). Didn't offend anyone that I know of and was probably quite a relief to the oarents that they didn't have to pay for a huge do.

anguk

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Something of the above but not quite.

It is quite complicated, but basically we need to get married for financial reasons only(to safeguard the financial security of each other) we have been together for over 25 years and have children.

We have discussed getting married with family and it has thrown up all sorts of problems.

My OH has suggested that it would be easier to just get married, I can see this in itself creating all sorts of problems, so he has said we could do it and they would be non the wiser until we both die. Just not sure if I can do it.

I only wish I could get married on line - we seem to be able to do most other things that way now!!!!!

:eek: You could be me!!!

We've been together over 27 years and have 2 grown up children, we've decided to get married some time this year for no other reason than it'll make things easier if anything happened to one of us. We're just going to go off to the registry office with our 2 kids as witnesses and maybe go for something to eat afterwards.

As far as we're concerned the marriage certificate is nothing more than a legal document to make things simpler for us. We don't want a big fuss, we don't need to declare our love for each other in front of other people, they know we love each other. It won't necessarily be the happiest day of our lives either because we've had 27 years of happiest days and there's hopefully many more to come.

Like you we wish you could just do it online to save all the bother.