Has anyone ever married and kept it secret?

Mojisola

Carer wrote: »

We've been hoping they will make civil partnership a reality for co-habiting couples, the same as it is for gay couples, but it looks like it's a long way off.

I can't bear the thought of the whole fuss and ceremony stuff, so if we do decide to do it, we will do it alone and tell no-one, probably not even the kids.

Isn't a register office ceremony the heterosexual version of a civil partnership?

The legal bit doesn't need to have any fuss made over it.

lostinrates

Carer wrote: »

A civil partnership is a private signing of papers. There is no public disclosure, no-one need ever know. It would just mean putting the relationship on a legal footing.

A marriage has to be announced "once a heterosexual couple gives notice of their intention to marry, their details, including names, occupations and addresses are made public, as the marriage register is a public document".

We would just like a legal agreement without any of the fuss and expectation (name changes, title changes) that marriage would bring.

You do not have to change name or title when married! Creates no more confusion than when living together.

Although i no longer work in the field i used to i kept my professinal name and title, my passport was only a year old, so is still in maiden name. I still have a maiden name bank account.

You should pick one or the other thoguh!h I will be finanlising that this year...at long last. I loke being mrs dh very much, and have taken a while to feel ready to say good bye to miss df.

we have friends who both changed names on marriage for various reasons too.

Gloomendoom

Carer wrote: »

A civil partnership is a private signing of papers. There is no public disclosure, no-one need ever know. It would just mean putting the relationship on a legal footing.

A marriage has to be announced "once a heterosexual couple gives notice of their intention to marry, their details, including names, occupations and addresses are made public, as the marriage register is a public document".

We would just like a legal agreement without any of the fuss and expectation (name changes, title changes) that marriage would bring.

It doesn't have to bring anything of the sort. Just go to a town where you aren't known and get two witnesses off the street. Job done in half an hour, no fuss and all for less than a £100. You don't have to change your name or even tell anybody else.

lostinrates

Gloomendoom wrote: »

It doesn't have to bring anything of the sort. Just go to a town where you aren't known and get two witnesses off the street. Job done in half an hour, no fuss and all for less than a £100. You don't have to change your name or even tell anybody else.

Tbf, you do have to aaply for a licence during which time your name etc is put opn a notice board outside. I have never read one of these boards, i don't ever see people reading them. I imagine this happens for religious ceremonies other than those where bans are read as an alternative too?

Gloomendoom

Carer wrote: »

A civil partnership is a private signing of papers. There is no public disclosure, no-one need ever know. It would just mean putting the relationship on a legal footing.

I think you may be mistaken on the public disclosure. Names and occupations are made public but not addresses.

Notice that you are to be civilly partnered must be made public during a 15-day period of waiting, so that any objections to the union are allowed to be made

Gloomendoom

lostinrates wrote: »

Tbf, you do have to aaply for a licence during which time your name etc is put opn a notice board outside. I have never read one of these boards, i don't ever see people reading them. I imagine this happens for religious ceremonies other than those where bans are read as an alternative too?

If your name is put on a notice board outside in a town miles away from where you live it doesn't really matter who reads it.

alec_eiffel

I got married in "secret". Two of our friends were witnesses but other than them, the officials me and DH that was that. We didn't tell anyone, still haven't told anyone, we've just had our 9th anniversary and that's that. We wanted to be married, didn't want a big wedding and didn't want any fuss.

Mojisola

If you do marry and keep it secret, make sure there's a way of people finding out if both of you die together. Whether you're married or single can affect what happens to your estate.

POPPYOSCAR

Thanks for all your posts. I would like to reply to them all but there are so many!

I have found them all very interesting to read and all raise valid points.

I just want a quite life but may have to compromise for the sake of the children.

Brighton_belle

Carer wrote: »

A civil partnership is a private signing of papers. There is no public disclosure, no-one need ever know. It would just mean putting the relationship on a legal footing.

A marriage has to be announced "once a heterosexual couple gives notice of their intention to marry, their details, including names, occupations and addresses are made public, as the marriage register is a public document".

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Notice that you are to be civilly partnered must be made public during a 15-day period of waiting, so that any objections to the union are allowed to be made

I think Doomengloom is right - when we went to be interviewed by the registrar pre marriage the couple who had the appointment in front of us were gay and therefore had to go through the exact same procedure/interviewed separately as us.