should I confront him and if so how?

Hanging_by_a_thread

speckham wrote: »

Now the problem - my computer has broken so I am typing this on his pc. His email hadn't been logged out and curiosity got the better of me and I found some emails I don't like - he has been talking to other women, receiving dirty pictures from them and sending some back of himself.

I don't know what to do. I don't think for a second he has physically cheated on me. We met on a dating website and I think for him it is a fantasy thing. Not long after we got together I saw an msn exchange I didn't like and confronted him on it. He was so upset, promised never to do it again bla bla bla and I feel really hurt that he is still bloody doing it.

If I were in your position OP it would be a deal breaker on my relationship. You two have only been married 8 months and he has been communicating with other women online and exchanging dirty pictures with them.

He knows from a previous indiscrection how much this type of behaviour upsets and hurts you and had promised never to do it again. Now you know from finding these emails that he has been lying to you and decieving you. All the while he has been acting as if he is totally committed to you and you've been trying for a baby together.

Is this really the man you want to raise a child and spend your life with? Personally I think you deserve better.

tinktinktinkerbell

i would end it

sorry but sending and receiving dirty pics goes past my line and i would class that as cheating

speckham

Thanks for the responses. I have gone upstairs and left him watching the football. I haven't said anything as I need to think it through. He has noticed I have been quiet as he has asked a few times if I am ok. I am not going to run from my marriage over this but I am going to make it very clear where the line is and what will happen if he crosses it again. Last time we had been together two months so it was a different situation. To make it clear we met on match.com not a dirty sex site so I didn't know about this. Unfortunately I am going to put the family on hold. This really kills me as we have been trying for 6 months and I am nearly 30 and hubby nearly 35. I don't want to be a single mum though. Now I need to be brave.

Kirri

But how will you know he won't do it again even if you do sort it out and he promises not to?

Have you checked to see if he still has a profile up?? under a new name etc.

speckham

If I am not going to give him a chance then I may as well end it now.

tinktinktinkerbell

speckham wrote: »

If I am not going to give him a chance then I may as well end it now.

but you gave him a chance last time

Kirri

You've caught him out twice now is all I meant, if it were me I would be constantly suspicious after that - it wouldn't be any good for your health to continue to have to check up on him, I guess it's up to you if you could take his word for it, I couldn't though after an abuse of trust as most guys caught out will say they won't do it again regardless of whether they mean it or not.

ska_lover

You say that you caught him doing a similar thing when you had not long been together, and he then promised you he would not do it again, but hey ho, he has. Do these women on line really mean that much to him that he endangers his relationship with his wife?

You have already given him a chance IMO.

ska_lover

why oh why has the forum team took away some of my lovingly crafted signature?

speckham

I trust him not to cheat on me in the physical sense. In this virtual world where he seems to think he is don huan rather than a 5 ft 8 tubby bloke with glasses - I don't know. He has never met any of these girls and never will and he probably doesnt see the harm.