Surely he wouldn't get my kids at the weekend...

AimeesMum_2

I rewrote my post a few times as I didn't want to really go into all the details and tried to make it as bland as possible - in hind sight, I should have given more details. If anyone is interested in the whole story, I have posted several threads as things have been happening

I want our kids to have contact with their Dad and have actively tried to sort out as much contact with him as possible - suggesting that we all go for lunch and things as I am trying to support him trying to get better while living in a B&B and dealing with all his issues. Just felt like a huge blow as I feel he is only wanting weekend access to get at me

Blackpool_Saver

I got a divorce because my ex was an alcoholic and unstable BUT after a time he settled down got a new wife who was a very good influence on him( personally I think she said shape up or ship out) bit anyway the point I am trying to make is when he is well he will get full contact as this is best for them. In the mean time discuss with the social worker that he wants a rifle and he is an unstable alcoholic.

Northern_Princess

AimeesMum wrote: »

He also has no family that would be seeing the kids. And if his 'friends' are all like the guy he turned up at my work with the other day completely drunk looking for money then I don't want them near his friends.

I agreed with the social work that he could see them but in my home and that they had to make unexpected visits to make sure that they were ok.

Now this changes everything! SW have access to Contact Centres if the children maybe at risk from the other parent. If a parent is a risk to a child Social Work would never agree to "drop in" especially on a weekend.

Blackpool_Saver

AimeesMum wrote: »

I rewrote my post a few times as I didn't want to really go into all the details and tried to make it as bland as possible - in hind sight, I should have given more details. If anyone is interested in the whole story, I have posted several threads as things have been happening

I want our kids to have contact with their Dad and have actively tried to sort out as much contact with him as possible - suggesting that we all go for lunch and things as I am trying to support him trying to get better while living in a B&B and dealing with all his issues. Just felt like a huge blow as I feel he is only wanting weekend access to get at me

Yes and he probably is, he wont be thinking straight if he is as ill as you say and I have no reason to doubt you. This rifle issue concerns me

Northern_Princess

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

I take it that would be in a perfect world where there are no abusive parents.........

Anyone can make a child - it takes rather a lot more to be a parent. Sorry to rain on your "naive viewpoint" parade.

As I said in a previous post as long as there were not child protection issues

Hanging_by_a_thread

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

I take it that would be in a perfect world where there are no abusive parents.........

Anyone can make a child - it takes rather a lot more to be a parent. Sorry to rain on your "naive viewpoint" parade.

To be fair it was not revealed in the original post that the ex husband had problems with alcohol or mental health. Is there really any need to refer to another posters opinion as you have chosen to above. Just because they dont see things exactly as you do there is no need to be rude to them.

I am sure the OP came on here because she wanted a variety of views and opinions. No one persons view is any more valid than anothers.

Blackpool_Saver

Hanging_by_a_thread wrote: »

May I just say I think this makes you an incredible mum. It must have been gauling to pay your ex to care for his own child, when you recieved no financial help from him at all. Despite this you rose above it all and enabled your son to have a relationship with his father. I only hope that your ex treated your son really well and that they now have an amazing bond. You should be really proud of yourself because your selflessness is the mark of a really good parent in my eyes :T

Oh please, I am no saint, I made a lot of mistakes.
Sadly no he hasn't because his Dad lost interest in him once he got re-married and his life centred around his new family. During the contact there were several very hairy events including a fire from which my son and ex had to be rescued, all were caused by his stupidity, but at least the judges finally realised I was the only stable parent.

Blackpool_Saver

Hanging_by_a_thread wrote: »

I am sure the OP came on here because she wanted a variety of views and opinions. No one persons view is any more valid than anothers.

Yes and many of us are coloured by our own experiences. It is just that all these years later I wish it had been different and I would advise the OP to do all they can to keep the bond, UNLESS it is genuinely unsafe to do so.

VfM4meplse

Question:

Northern_Princess wrote: »

He's their dad so why shouldn't he have them on alternate weekends?

Answer:

AimeesMum wrote: »

I work full time in order to provide for my children, he doesn't work and doesn't provide financially.

AimeesMum wrote: »

As I said in a previous post, he was happy with this arrangement until I refused to buy him a rifle with the money that I was saving on childminding fees.

Because he's a waste of space, that's why. Guns are bad enough, at the hands of someone with alcohol and MH issues??!

OP, see your solicitor with the full facts - in your shoes I would bar all access and get an injunction. It's a no-brainer.

DUTR

AimeesMum wrote: »

I rewrote my post a few times as I didn't want to really go into all the details and tried to make it as bland as possible - in hind sight, I should have given more details. If anyone is interested in the whole story, I have posted several threads as things have been happening

I want our kids to have contact with their Dad and have actively tried to sort out as much contact with him as possible - suggesting that we all go for lunch and things as I am trying to support him trying to get better while living in a B&B and dealing with all his issues. Just felt like a huge blow as I feel he is only wanting weekend access to get at me

As others have suggested , you will not have a strong case to deny access, if he has the children midweek, it may jeapordise his chances when employment opportunities arise, my daughter's Mum used to want us all to go out and do things, little did we know at the time it was a ploy to cement a relationship between the parents.
Your ex has some good points otherwise you would not have been with him in the 1st place or gone on to make children together, if you are the great Mum you are suggesting then remember the kids have a dad and you don't call all the shots