Surely he wouldn't get my kids at the weekend...

AimeesMum_2

Hi everyone

I have recently split up with my ex. He wants weekend visitation rights (every second weekend).

I work full time in order to provide for my children, he doesn't work and doesn't provide financially.

I offered him 1 or 2 days a week during the week while I am at work but he wants them at the weekend and has said that he is going to take me to court

What do you think his chances are? I don't see why I should be out providing while he isn't doing anything and should have to miss weekends with my babies

Mojisola

His chances - very good assuming that they are his children and not from some earlier relationship.

If your argument stood, then any SAHM would have her children taken off her when a couple split and she would only be allowed occasional contact.

Northern_Princess

I replied on your other thread.

He's their dad so why shouldn't he have them on alternate weekends? If the kids are happy to go, let them go spend time with their dad. Unless there's a valid reason why they shouldn't go (child protection issues). Relationships breaking down is hard on both sides, but kids should never ever be used as a weapon between parents in my view.

Blackpool_Saver

Hi there, firstly I am very sorry your relationship has broken down.
It's very sad that when people split up they often think of fitting the kids around what they want and need, it isn't about him having them while you are at work or you having them when you are off, it's about what is best for the children and that will be fair and suitable contact with both of you when it benefits them.
If you cannot agree between you then mediation and judges will be involved. Sadly whether he is paying or not has no bearing upon the children's entitlement to contact with him.

AimeesMum_2

I don't understand your post. I am not saying that at all. I am saying that as he is free during the week surely it is unreasonable to need to have them at the weekend when I barely see them as it is

AimeesMum_2

There is absolutely no reason why he shouldn't have them during the week though as opposed to the weekend. Every day is the same to him. And at least that way they would be being looked after one of their parents rather than the childminder.

He was more than happy with this arrangement until I refused to buy him some kind of silly rifle and then he changed his mind on the agreement.

daska

Contact with kids at weekends is very different from weekday contact. (Not so much while they're very little maybe.) What about his family and friends, if they work and/or live in a different part of the country when would they get together other than weekends? What about events that are only on a weekends - shouldn't he have the option to go to some of these with his children?

balletshoes

AimeesMum wrote: »

I don't understand your post. I am not saying that at all. I am saying that as he is free during the week surely it is unreasonable to need to have them at the weekend when I barely see them as it is

how old are your children and do they have current fixed childcare/nursery/school commitments? Just asking, as my brother has permanent residency of his daughter, he works all week Monday to Friday, her mum doesn't work, but her access is every 3rd weekend (she wanted every 2nd weekend, brother wanted every 4th, court split the difference).

Northern_Princess

AimeesMum wrote: »

I don't understand your post. I am not saying that at all. I am saying that as he is free during the week surely it is unreasonable to need to have them at the weekend when I barely see them as it is

Children have 2 parents, and no it's not unreasonable to see each parent alternate weekends just because you work and your ex doesn't.

fannyanna

AimeesMum wrote: »

when I barely see them as it is

As the resident parent I'm sure you see them a lot more than he does.

Blackpool_Saver

But it is not the same for the children, you are missing the point, seeing him at weekends and having a full day, get up go to bed is better for them, every day is not the same for them is it? it's a weekend, not a school day, do you understand?