private account in a relationship?

Mrs_Arcanum

bluestarrz wrote: »

Hi all, sorry for long post but I want to know if I am being completely irrational about this.

My partner and I have lived together for 9 years and been together 10, we have two children and are extremely happy. We've been budgeting and saving when we can and are getting by quite well.

However lately my partner has made a budget for the year and we hope to stick to this as well as saving regularly. I will put £150 of my wages into his saving account each month and he will transfer £300 or whatever he has left (he pays bills and I buy food, nappies etc)

The problem is he wants me to register for online banking to allow him to check my account regularly and update his spreadsheets etc which I am against. He is really angry I keep putting it off, but personally don't want us looking into each others accounts and checking all spends etc, not that I'm doing anything suspicious etc I just like my money and his separate.

If I put in my agreed amount each month I don't see the problem? However he is really angry as I said and I can't figure out if I'm just being irrational or want some privacy, we share everything else?


Opinions please?

This is ringing alarm bells for me. Why after so long does he want access to your private account & why is he so angry? Everyone needs privacy no matter how solid the relationship is.

Also, the savings account is wrong, wrong, wrong. This must be in both names or you should stop paying in to it immediately. As others have said transferring money is very fast these days so his excuse is no longer valid (nor truly has ever been).

One solution may be to have accounts at the same bank with a joint savings account. This way you can BOTH see and access the savings via on-line banking all at one place, but your current accounts remain private.

Ask to see a current statement from "his" savings account. After all you pay in a third of what should be there.

FBP4EVER

I'm probably in the minority but I actually think you should do it. Before my wife and I were married I got her to set-up her online banking and give me the dtails so I can effectively manager her finances

No Problem

The result, we're now overpaying on both our properties, have quite a bit of savings and have significantly reduced our debt. Thats on top of holidaying and having fun. If she wasn't so open this would not have happened. (And just to add she has access to all the passwords so can always check our balances and move money herself if she pleases)

I do agree with most others in that as you're not married then this is a slight concern so it should be in a joint account (we have 1 joint account but all the rest are separate). But, if it helps you make or sve money then I don't see an issue.

Or maybe I'm just being naive....you know him best